He finally turned to look at me, his eyes dark but calm. “When it come to you, it ain’t no fuckin’ version, Toni. It’s fuckin’ law. I don’t let no nigga play with you or make it look like it’s safe to. That’s not who I am, and it never will be.”
I let out a soft laugh, not ‘cause it was funny but ‘cause I ain’t even know what else to say. He was dead serious, and the more I looked at him, the more I realized he meant every word. His hand rubbed slow circles against my thigh, his tone low and smooth.
“I been workin’ on myself, yeah,” he said. “Tryna chill, stay out the way and let shit slide. But when it come to you, that’s non-negotiable. I’ll never be the nigga that let somebody think they can play with what’s mine.”
That right there was Kay’Lo; calm but deadly. He ain’t have to yell, or move too fast. You could feel his conviction in every word, and even though I hated what he did, I couldn’t lie about how it made me feel. That kind of protectiveness was scary and sexy all at once.
I know y’all… I know… I need to make up my mind on whether I’m gon’ be turned on by this nigga or scared for my life.
I sighed and leaned my head on his shoulder. “You know you can’t live your whole life like that, right?”
He gave a short laugh. “It ain’t my whole life, baby. Just my life when it come to you.”
I went quiet. There was no winnin’ with him when his mind was made up, and this was one of those moments. I knew he was wrong, but I also knew that in his mind, he was right. He believed in protecting me the same way he believed in breathin’.
After a while, I lifted my head and looked at him. His face was peaceful, his eyes half closed and smoke curlin’ up around him. The ocean breeze pushed through the balcony and brushed against us, coolin’ the heat that still lingered from the night.
“Kay’Lo,” I whispered, runnin’ my fingers along his jaw. “I love you.”
He looked at me then, his eyes softenin’ just a lil’. “I know.”
“I mean it,” I said, my voice barely above the sound of the waves. “You drive me crazy sometimes, but I love you, and I’m proud of you. You been really tryin’. I see it.”
He reached up, cupped the side of my face, and leaned in close. “I know, and I love you too, mama.”
I smiled, slid my hands up to his face, and kissed him slow. His hand stayed on my thigh, the other at the back of my neck, keepin’ me close. When we finally pulled apart, I stayed in his lap, still starin’ at him.
For a minute, it was quiet again. Then he said it out of nowhere. “I’m ready to go to the doctor.”
I blinked. “For what?”
He looked at me like I should’ve already known. “To see why you ain’t had my baby yet.”
My stomach dropped. “Kay’Lo…”
He sat back in the chair, exhaled smoke, and looked out at the water again. “It ain’t nothin’ to get worked up about. I’m twenty-seven. I want a baby before I hit thirty. Actually, I want a few kids. With you.”
I stared at him, my fingers twitchin’ on my lap.
He turned back to me, his voice still calm. “We been together for years, and you ain’t even had a pregnancy scare. That ain’t normal, Toni. I been doin’ what you need me to do. I been tryna get right, hold shit down and move how you want me to. But I’m tellin’ you right now, it’s time for my needs to get met too.”
I swallowed hard and nodded slowly. There was nothin’ I could say to that. Deep down, I knew he was serious, and I knew if I didn’t eventually have a child with him, it could change everything between us.
I leaned into him, restin’ my head against his chest. His arm came around me again, strong and protective. The world outside felt too quiet, like even the island knew not to interrupt whatever moment this was.
Kay’Lo kissed the top of my head and whispered, “We gon’ be alright, baby.”
And right then, even though I knew we was sittin’ on a thin line between love and chaos, I couldn’t help but believe him. Because with Kay’Lo, it was always that simple and that complicated all at the same damn time.
Trill-Land, Jungle Estate
One week later…
Today, I had a lot on my damn mind and decided to kick it with my sis, Pluto.
We was sittin’ out back at her and Pressure’s mansion, smokin’ by the pool while the sun was droppin’ low. The sky was orange and pink, and it was the type of view that make you stop talkin’ for a minute just to stare. The water was movin’ soft, the music was low, and we had drinks sweatin’ on the table next to us. It should’ve felt like peace, but my mind was runnin’ in circles.
I was quiet as hell, and Pluto caught it like she always do. She passed me the blunt, looked at me over her lashes, and grinned.“Alright, what’s up with you, girl? You too damn quiet. Every time you get quiet, I know something is wrong.”
