“What’s crazy,” I shot back, sittin’ up too, “is you lookin’ at me like I’m a bomb waitin’ to go off just ‘cause I said I feel better without them damn pills.”
“You felt better on them too,” she said, her voice risin’. “You slept. You wasn’t hearin’ shit. You wasn’t snappin’. You wasn’t tearin’ the fuckin’ house up.”
I leaned forward with my palms on the mattress, and my face right in hers. “So, what you sayin’? You liked me better medicated?”
She hesitated, and that hesitation pissed me off more than anything else.
“I liked you peaceful,” she said. “I liked us peaceful.”
I grabbed her chin and forced her to look at me. “You think I don’t want that too?”
She swallowed, her eyes shinin’ now. “Then why you fightin’ me on this?”
“‘Cause I’m tired of feelin’ like you need me broken to love me,” I said low.
I could tell that shit her.
Her face cracked just a lil’, and she shook her head. “That ain’t what this is.”
“Then what is it?” I pressed.
She exhaled hard. “I’m scared.”
Every time she said that shit, it stopped me.
“I watched you get better,” she continued, her voice shakin’ now. “I watched you come back to me, and now the therapist sayin’ she wrong and you ready to throw it all away like it ain’t mean shit.”
I softened while starin’ in her eyes. My hand slid from her chin to her cheek, then my thumb brushed under her eye. “I’m still right here. I’m the same nigga that love the shit out you.”
She laughed, bitter. “You say that every time.”
I pulled her into me, chest to chest with my forehead touchin’ hers. “And I mean it every time.”
She tried to look away, but I ain’t let her. I yanked her hair, and kissed her jaw. Then her cheek. Then her neck, slow, the way I knew unraveled her even when she ain’t want it to.
“You can be mad,” I murmured against her skin. “But don’t shut me out.”
She pressed her hand against my chest. “You don’t get to just drag me back with kisses every time.”
I smiled slightly. “Yes, I do. ‘Cause you mine.”
She huffed, but her body leaned into me anyway.
“I don’t want you sick,” she whispered. “I just want you safe.”
I kissed her again, slower this time but deeper, like I was pressin’ the truth into her mouth. My hand slid into her hair, fistin’ it gentle at first, then firmer, tiltin’ her head back so she had no choice but to feel me. “I’m safe right here,” I murmured. “With you.”
She rested her forehead against mine, her breath shaky, like she was finally lettin’ herself fall instead of bracin’ for another argument. Her body still held that tension, and that stubborn edge she carried when she was hurt, but I felt it start to give under my hands. I always did. She could fight me with her mouth all day, but her body never lied to me.
She turned her back on me, but I stayed behind her, my chest pressed to her back and my presence heavy. My lips traced the side of her neck, slow, lettin’ her feel every inch of me before I took anything. Tonight was about remindin’ my wife who she belonged to and remindin’ myself why I loved her so damn much.
My hand slid up the front of her neck, my thumb pressin’ just enough to make her gasp. Her body leaned back into me automatically, like muscle memory kicked in before pride could stop it. I felt that shift immediately, from the way her breathin’ changed, and the way her hips moved without her even thinkin’ about it.
“Yeah,” I said low against her ear. “There you go. Stop fightin’ me.”
She let out a soft sound she only made when she was finally lettin’ go. I held her there for a second, my hand steady on her, lettin’ her feel anchored, claimed and protected. Then my other hand slid down her body, slow and possessive, remindin’ her I knew every inch of her better than anybody ever could.
I moved with her then, deep, every motion intentional. I stayed locked to her back, whisperin’ to her how good she felt, how she always felt like mine no matter how mad she got andhow I loved her mouth even when it talked shit to me. I told her she was safe, that she was wanted and that she drove me crazy in the best way.
