“Since Toni made me go,” I said. “She set the shit up, dragged me in there, made sure I ain’t skip. You know how she get.”
Pressure nodded. “That sound like Toni. She don’t play when it come to yo’ ass, nigga.”
I shrugged. “Yeah. Anyway… therapist finally told me what’s been goin’ on. Said I’m bipolar and schizophrenic.”
Both of them froze. Pressure looked at me dead-on, his blunt paused halfway to his mouth. “Nigga… are you serious?”
“That’s what she said.”
Renza put his cards down slow. “Damn.”
Pressure leaned forward a lil’. “You good though? What they sayin’ you gotta do?”
“I’m on medicine now,” I said. “Just started today. Toni excited as hell actin’ like I just got baptized.”
Renza laughed. “Aye she should be. You been wild as hell these past few months.”
Pressure nodded. “Ain’t gon’ lie, ‘Lo… some days it was like you wasn’t even here with us for real. Then that extra wild ass shit you did with Blaq.”
I inhaled and let the smoke roll out slow. “I know. And I ain’t know what to call it. I thought I was just trippin’. I ain’t never know what was wrong with me.”
Renza snapped his fingers. “Look, fuck all that. We need to keep yo’ meds in every room you go in. Game room. Kitchen. Nigga we gone tape one to the back of yo’ car keys.”
Pressure laughed. “Matter fact, I’mma keep a bottle at my crib just in case.”
“Boy fuck you,” I said, grinnin’ ‘cause even though they was jokin’, it wasn’t mean. It felt good. It felt normal.
Pressure looked at me again, more serious now, but his voice stayed smooth. “I’m proud of you though. I ain’t think you would ever let nobody help you.”
I nodded. “I ain’t think I would either, but I gotta get right for real. For Toni, and for me too.”
Renza grabbed his blunt. “Hell yeah, and now we know why you been trippin’. Nigga you had us in here duckin’ for our lives half the time.”
“I wasn’t that bad,” I said.
Pressure side-eyed me. “Nigga yes the fuck you were.”
We all laughed and the room filled up with smoke and warmth and shit that felt like old times. For the first time in a long minute, I felt like myself again. Not the angry version. Not the scared one. Not the overwhelmed one. Just me.
Pressure reached for his cards again but looked irritated. “Man, I need some shit for my nerves too. Pluto holdin’ her pussy hostage.”
Renza busted out laughin’. “What she do now?”
“She talkin’ ‘bout I don’t pull out,” Pressure said. “Talkin’ ‘bout she tired of her period bein’ late every month. But as far as I’m concerned, I ain’t pullin’ out some pussy that’s mine.”
Renza shook his head. “Boy you a menace. That girl tired of peein’ on sticks.”
Pressure shrugged. “Ain’t my problem. She knew what it was when she brought that pussy to me.”
I laughed. “You better get to beatin’ yo’ dick then.”
Pressure damn near choked. “Nigga I wish I would. I ain’t beat my dick since I was fourteen.”
Renza leaned forward clownin’. “You a GOT DAMN LIE.”
All three of us laughed so hard the table shook. My chest felt open.”
We played one more hand before my phone vibrated. Toni’s name popped up with a message that instantly changed my whole mood.
