“Nah,” I said with a cold tone that sounded like it came from someplace dark. “You a nigga in my kitchen talkin’ to my wife. That’s what you are.”
Pressure stepped closer. “‘Lo… look at me.”
I didn’t.
I kept the gun right where it was.
Blaqson shook his head slow. “You lost yo’ fuckin’ mind, bro. You really lost it.”
“Nah,” I said again. “I just don’t play ‘bout what’s mine. And if you think I won’t let you have this shit, you stupid as fuck.”
Pressure moved right next to me now. “Kay’Lo… Put. It. Down.”
It took everything in me not to snap at him too. I felt like the world was closin’ in on me, like everybody was tryna push me into a space I didn’t fit in.
Blaqson finally exhaled and looked at Pressure. “Out of respect for you… I’m gon’ move around. But that nigga right there?” He pointed at me. “He ain’t ever gotta worry ‘bout me speakin’ to him again. And you”—he looked at Toni—“you cool, but I’m done bein’ nice to a nigga who pull a gun on family.”
That set me off again. “That set me off again. “Nigga, you still talkin’ to my muthafuckin’ wife?”
Blaqson opened his mouth like he was about to say somethin’ else, and that’s when I clicked my shit back loud enough for the room to freeze.
Toni gasped, “Kay’Lo! Stop!” and tried to grab my arm, but I snatched it away without even lookin’ at her.
“Didn’t I JUST tell you not to fuckin’ speak to her?” I said, my voice raw, and the gun raised higher now. “Say somethin’ else to her. I dare you.”
Pressure put a hand out without touchin’ me, like a warnin’ that he would end all this shit if I stepped wrong.
Blaqson walked past all of us, grabbed his keys and slammed the front door when he left.
Toni looked at me with pain all over her face, shook her head and walked off without sayin’ a word.
I tucked my gun back in my waist, walked right past Pressure and Renza like nothin’ happened and went back outside to the spades table.
Right now, I ain’t give a fuck about who felt some type of way.
Trill-Land, ‘LoLux Estate
I was so pissed off at Kay’Lo I couldn’t even think of his face without feelin’ my chest get tight. The whole night had been stupid as hell and the fact that he really pulled a gun out on Blaqson just ‘cause we was in the kitchen talkin’ made me feel like I was married to somebody who didn’t even recognize my damn humanity. Hours had passed but that shit was still runnin’ through my mind like it just happened, and every time I replayed it, I felt my stomach knot up all over again.
I was laid across our bed with my phone on speaker, talkin’ to Sha’Nelle while I stared up at the ceilin’ like it had answers. She was the only person I could call without feelin’ judged ‘cause she knew me and she knew my life, and she didn’t sugarcoat shit.
“That nigga Kay’Lo wild as hell,” she said while she chewed on somethin’. “Like I like him, I ain’t gon’ lie, but everybody know he got that look. You know the look I’m talkin’ about. The whole family be sittin’ straight when he walk in a room. It’s like we scared to breathe wrong.”
I exhaled through my nose. “Girl he too damn much. I’m tired, Nelle. I swear I am. He act like he own me or some shit. I can’t even talk to nobody without him losin’ his fuckin’ mind.”
“He pulled a gun on his potna though?” she asked with her voice raised like she still couldn’t believe it.
“Yes,” I said. “A whole fuckin’ gun, Nelle. Over nothin’. Just ‘cause he walked in the kitchen and saw us talkin’. I wasn’t flirtin’, I wasn’t touchin’ that man. We was literally talkin’ about the crab legs from Pressure party.”
Sha’Nelle laughed under her breath. “Bitch, you know damn well it don’t fuckin’ matter with him. Kay’Lo the type that don’t care if a nigga ninety years old and on a oxygen tank. He feel like if they look at you too long, they tryin’ you.”
I closed my eyes ‘cause part of me knew she was right but it ain’t m make it feel any less suffocating. “He need help, Nelle. I love him, but he be drainin’ me. I’m tired of walkin’ on eggshells just to keep peace.”
“You ain’t lyin’ ‘cause baby after he killed Deuce the whole family said they done with him,” she said casually. “I mean everybody always knew he was unhinged but that took it over the top. Now Darnell missin’ too. You heard about that?”
My heart jumped but I kept my voice smooth. “I don’t know nothin’ about that and I don’t care. He ain’t never been no real uncle to me anyway.”
“I feel you,” she said. “Still though, you livin’ with Kay’Lo gotta be a whole job. You strong for real ‘cause I would’ve been left.”
