Delaney stands and sips from her tumbler straw. “All right, Barbie. You have two days. If I don’t have a rehire offer by then, I’m sending this to TMZ. The Maddox name doesn’t have quite the clout as, say, Musk, but on a slow news day, I bet you could be the feature story.”
“Mrs. Maddox?” Martinez arrives, stepping between Delaney and me. “Is everything all right?”
“Everything is fine. I want to leave now.”
“Of course.” He talks into his wrist as Delaney struts away, wiggling her fingers goodbye over her shoulder.
Johnson appears carrying Pearl in one arm and a stack of picture books under the other. Pearl’s eyes are clouded with worry, but she’s made like me—she doesn’t question or cry. When she’s freaked out, she gets quiet and watchful.
What’s the gene in your DNA that teaches you it’s best to make yourself invisible?
This is all my fault. I’m supposed to keep my babies safe, protect them from the world, and I’ve brought that woman down on them. I’m not letting CPS take them. Even if Adrian gets them back right away, they’ll know they can lose everything in an instant. That they’re never really, actually safe. I’ll die before I let them find that out.
I follow Martinez numbly to the circulation desk and then the car. I strap Winnie in her seat and help Pearl when she can’t quite get the buckle. She’s tracking my every moveclosely, and it’s like looking into a mirror twenty years in the past. She knows something’s not right, and she’s learning in real time that she’s powerless.
I’ve got to get away from them.
I’m not safe.
“Johnson, take us to Gideon and Kendra’s place outside the city,” I order. Kendra called the other day to tell me she’s left the penthouse to stay at their house. I was too fuzzy brained to pry politely, and she wasn’t acting like she wanted to talk. I just told her that the kids and I love her.
Whatever is going on, Kendra will watch the girls. She’s a good aunt. If I ask her to keep a secret, she will. At least for a while. I won’t need her to keep her mouth shut for long.
In the seat across from me, Martinez picks up his phone. He’s going to check with Adrian.
“Hang up,” I say to him, more sharply than I’ve ever spoken to staff.
“I’m just letting the boss know where we’re going.”
“I’mthe boss. You report to me, and I’m telling you to hang up.” Martinez shoots a glance at Johnson through the divider. Johnson lifts a shoulder.
“All right, ma’am.” Martinez eases his phone into his pocket like I have a gun on him.
What has Adrian told him? That I’m unstable? A danger to the kids? I’d never hurt them, never. Neverletthem be hurt, either. Not by anyone, not even me and the consequences of my actions.
I give Pearl a reassuring smile. She gives me a wavery question of a smile back. A sharp pain stabs me in the chest like a knife.
She’ll be okay in the end. Adrian is a good dad. He doesn’t think he is, and he’s nothing like a TV or influencer dad, but he makes sure they have what they need, and he cares if they’re happy and comfortable. He’d never hurtthem. I think he’s actually afraid he might hurt them by accident, which a bad man would never worry about. I wasn’t smart when I picked him—or went along withhimpicking me—but Iwaslucky.
We drive the rest of the way to Gideon and Kendra’s in silence. Martinez stares stonily out the window. He knows Adrian will be furious. He’s probably thinking about Schmidt and Tiller and how they’re not around anymore. I feel awful—about that and the Scorpion and letting everything get so far away from me.
I only wanted a normal life. To be loved like a normal person. I thought I was, for a while. I guess that’s more than a lot of people get.
When Johnson pulls up in front of Gideon’s, I tell the men to stay put and wait for me. Winnie is asleep. Pearl usually naps in the car, too, but she’s wide awake.
I throw the leather satchel diaper bag over my shoulder, cradle Winnie to my chest, and grab Pearl’s hand. “Come on. Aunt Kendra is going to be so surprised and happy to see you.”
I don’t know how my brain thinks when it’s so full of wool, but somehow, part of it can always function on automatic, even when the rest is veering off the rails.
Delaney is a piece of shit, but she’s right. My girls aren’t safe with someone like me. If Adrian had done anything half as crazy as me, we’d be gone, even back when I loved him. If CPS sees that video, they’ll take them, and they are never, ever ending up in a stranger’s house with a bedroom door that doesn’t lock. Not while I’m alive.
The horrible chasm cracking open inside me is temporary. Soon enough, I can let go. Float off. I just need to get away first.
Kendra answers her front door soon after I knock. She must’ve been passing through the foyer. The house is huge.
“Cora! And the girls! What are you doing here?” She gestures us inside, peering at the car to see who drove us. “Do your men want to come inside?”
I shake my head. “I’ll only be a minute. I need you to watch the girls for a little bit while I run an errand.”
