“Have you had your first crush already?” I asked, trying to compare and find out if I was really that behind.
“Um. Kind of. It’s complicated.” Jiwon evaded, glancing out the window, and I could immediately tell that it was a sensitive topic.
“Oh no.” I sighed in disappointment. “Was it unrequited? Did he not like you back?”
“If only it were that simple. Eighth grade is complicated. Dad says it always is,” she quoted, shaking her head.
“Tell me about them, even if it’s just a little bit. Come on, Jiwonie!” I pleaded, suddenly overcome by curiosity at the thought of a boy lovely enough to captivatetheJiwon Kwon, who I looked up to more than life at the time.
“Oh God, no!” She blushed, her ivory cheeks tinting rose. “Forget it…”
“Oh, so you’re the only one who gets to ask questions around here?” I challenged.
“If I tell you, you have to swear to never bring it up again so help me God—”
“I swear!” I agreed, and we pinkie-promised.
“You know you can’t ever break this, yeah? Pinkie promises are as good as law,” she clarified, and I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, sure. Go on now.”
“Well… they’re a grade above me…” she began.
“Yes…”
“And they’re the smartest person in their whole year.” She explained, then suddenly turned timid. “But…”
“What is it?”
“But I don’t think I can be with them. Maybe it’s better this all stays a fantasy.” She sighed, her face turning somber.
“Hey, don’t be so pessimistic, Jiwon, come on.” I attempted to encourage her, but it was no use. “Sometimes things have an odd way of aligning in our favor.”
“I don’t think—”
“What I think is that you want to keep this crush a secret because you’re aware of the fact that once you voice it aloud, everything becomes ten times more real. And reality is the archnemesis of fantasy—this huge wrecking ball that destroys your sacred sanctuary of make-believe.” I pondered, and for a moment she simply stared back at me in disbelief, then shrugged it off.
“Always so philosophical, Yesoh.” Jiwon sighed, biting her nervous nails. “Maybe it’s all in my head…”
“My mother always said that the best things usually are,” I concluded. “In our heads.”
Just then I caught a glimpse of Beck and Wynter outside helping Bae construct her little lemonade stand she’d managed to talk them into making—because according to her, they always did it in the movies, so in Bae’s terms it was rather fitting. I watched as the harsh summer gusts knocked over the banner of the stand, painted by the entrepreneur herself in backward lettering. At first it seemed like a lost cause, and I was certain Bae would soon burst into tears, but then Beck and Wynter shared a knowing glance. Wynter swooped Bae up into his arms, lifted her onto his shoulders, and started running around as Beck chased them across the lawn.
“I’m gonna get you!” Beck played along, and any trace of sadness Bae might’ve felt dissolved as she erupted into giggles, all of them out of breath. “Get back here! Two against one isn’t fair!”
Their raven curls carried whispers of white, as always, and were tousled by the impatient air. In that moment, they almost appeared unearthly—like fae folk who’d snuck onto earth, like elusive sprites who got bored of the hidden world and somehow bled into ours. They were light on their feet and easy on the eyes, almost as if it were an act orchestrated to distract you from the fact that their hearts were heavy.
“Come on, let’s go make sandwiches and surprise everyone,” Jiwon suggested.
“Yeah, sure. Can I invite Syd? She’s probably bored of watching Jax and Cahya play Dungeons and Dragons all afternoon.” I proposed, and Jiwon smiled warmly.
“No, you can leave her locked in March House watching the boys geek out till her ears bleed,” Jiwon teased as we made our way downstairs, turning the kitchen lights on.
“Okay, ouch…” I grumbled as she tossed me a pack of ham from the fridge and I caught it like a quarterback.
“Dude, I’m kidding. Of course you can. The door’s always open—you know that.” Jiwon corrected, laying out twelve slices of whole-wheat bread on six plates. “Tell her to bring thePretty Little Liarsbox-set DVDs with her, or she’s not getting one of my Michelin-star-worthy ham and cheese toasties.”
“Noted…” I nodded slowly, then proceeded to ring Syd and invite her over to the Kwons’.
