“He’s a figure skater, I told you earlier that every time we move it’s at his accord, yes? Well, this is it. This is his thing, he was born for the ice. And as you can see, he’s really good at it, so yeah,” she explained to us.
Just then, my gaze shifted to the family photo on the table next to it, it was an old one, because the girls looked much younger than they did. Now, some of their eyes maybe even a little brighter with childhood wonder. It was then that I noticed their mother in the photograph. I hadn’t seen her around the house at all, and I didn’t get the sense that she was here at all. And judging by the way that Jiwon swallowed hard, and was looking at me like I had just seen something I wasn’t supposed to. I got the sense that I shouldn’t ask and that I should leave things as they were. But I could not help but wonder even still where she was.
We made our way outside and wished them goodbye as we made our way down Clementine Street and away from the little blue house. But when we looked back, we saw them all standing by the window on the top floor in Beck’s room. They waved at us from all the way up there, and we waved back, a warm feeling spreading across my chest. But there was also a darkness that lingered after seeing that photograph.
There was justsomethingabout the Kwon girls.
6
The Reckoning
Iwatched in absolute awe as he made his way out of the store wearing the necklace thatI’d wanted—maybe it looked better on him, but then again everything looks good on people like him. Every piece of jewellery will look like it was manufactured in his image. Despite the way his dark, gold-rimmed sunglasses shielded his eyes I would know his face until the end of my days burned into the back of my mind. I would know himblind.
“What’s he doing in New York?” Sydney wondered, glaring at the cluster of security surrounding him in disbelief. “I thought that—”
“He moved back to the UK years ago, yeah, we all thought so but apparently we’re wrong,” I completed her sentence, “This is unbelievable.”
“Maybe we just have a very vivid imagination, maybe we’re just making things up,” Sydney backtracked, giggling nervously. “Maybe we’re just sleep-deprived!”
“I wish.” I took a deep breath, shaking my head and staring at him in both awe and disbelief. “He’s back.”
“The devil himself,” Sydney quipped, taking her shopping bags from the sales clerk. “Apparently there’s a huge crowd gathered outside too.”
“To what, watch him walk in and out of a store?” I narrowed my eyes in skepticism.
“Exactly that,” Sydney affirmed as we pushed our way past the crowd and on our way to the next store. “Wow, I never thought I’d see the day little Wynter Kwon was representing one of the biggest luxury brands in the entire world.”
“Calling him little Wynter Kwon when he’s two years older than us is crazy.” I chuckled. “Two years!”
“God, when we were younger that age gap felt like an entire decade, but now it feels like nothing at all,” Sydney expressed. “I guess that’s why he was always closer with Cahya and Beck. We were always just the kids to them.”
“Yeah, we were.” I realized it now, just as I’d realized it then. "I wonder if they’re all back in town, him and the girls, even Mr Kwon?”
“Don’t you think we would’ve heard from them by now?” Sydney furrowed her eyebrows in uncertainty.
“Maybe, there was a time when Bae would’ve been the first to call and let us know she was within breathing distance, a time Jiwon would’ve rather died than not let us know,” I reassured her, “but you know things have been different since they moved back home.”
“But Soh, Waverly Peak was their home. That little blue house on Clementine street was theirhome, we were their home don’t you remember?” she insisted with such emotion in her eyes.
“You know we all try not to.” My voice trailed off. “They seemed happy in Nottingham, in the postcards and pictures at least.”
“We haven’t gotten a postcard in years!” Sydney reminded me as if I could ever forget.
I never forgot anything, not even for a moment, not even for a single second. I was cursed with the burden of not being able to wash anything away from my memory. I was the salt in the sea, the rhythm in the waves, the petrichor after the rain, the leaves at the bottom of a teacup, bones after the decay—everything about melingered. Everything I’d ever loved or desired I clung to for dear life leaving claw marks on it till my fingernails were bloodied and my knees bruised.
“Sydney please—” I insisted, not trying to unravel the past in the middle of the shopping mall.
“I won’t start anything, I know not to think it and not to say it, but sometimes I still want to know if even the little things are still the same. In a world where the only thing that you can rely on is that everything is constantly changing, I often find myself wondering what does stay. I wonder if Jiwon still can’t stand when people chew with their mouths open, or if she still thinks apple juice is better than orange juice. If Bae still makes Wynter cut off the crust to her peanut butter and jelly sandwich every time he makes it for her, if he still does anyway. If Beck still hates being called Rebecca and finally changed Beck to her legal name, if she still loves horror films.” Sydney glanced down at her feet and swallowed hard. “It’s okay to have a thought, right?”
Her words hit me right where it hurt—I was aware of the promise that we all made, of the pact we formed for the better of us all. But I could tell that this had been weighing heavily onSydney’s mind and if there was one thing I knew, it was that the longer you pull back an elastic band the more it’s going to sting when it finally snaps.
“Yes, it’s okay,” I assured her, and her gaze softened. “Your thoughts are safe with me.”
====
We began to make our way out of the shopping center, and it was only then when I lifted my head and stared up at the huge billboards around me that I realized that Wynter Kwon’s face reallywasabsolutely everywhere. There was no avoiding him, to my left he was in an ad for North Face, sporting winter wear in puffer jackets and snow boots, to my right he was on a TV screen at a cafe doing an interview withGood Morning Americatalking about his experiences. And of course, the huge Versace fall campaign billboard that was only just being put up, flashing lights as crowds gathered around to take pictures.
There was no escaping him now, not while he was here in the US and the object of everyone’s attention.
