“River…”
“Armani?”
“Be honest with me, won’t you?” I asked of him.
“It’s not important.” He mumbled.
“It is to me,” I assured him. “Your thoughts areveryimportant to me.”
"You'd be better off with a man like Muleya or even someone like Fabian." River mentioned, "And yet you chose me, why?"
“And here I was thinking it was you who chose me,” I responded incredulously.
“No.” He insisted, his voice stern and unwavering. “It was you, who choseme.”
"Because there's no one else." I admitted matter of factly, "And I don't think there can be."
"We cannot ignore that we are so different." He hesitated and I shut my eyes, I knew this was coming.
"Yes we are, and I am well aware that there are parts of me that you couldn’t possibly understand even if you tried." I assured him, “and if that is too much for you, then tell me now.”
“What?”
“If I am too much for you in any way, tell me now so you can go find less.” I expressed, rather bitterly at that.
"Armani, you once told me that you sometimes feel as though I don't see you, but I do, because you'reallI see. When you walk into a room it's impossiblenotto see you. This, what I feel towards you is more than just an allure of sorts— It’s respect. I respect you and that of your culture more than anything. And our ability to acknowledge our differences makes me appreciate our bond even more." River told me and it was getting hard for me not to tear up, he reached his hand around the tree trunk and placed it over my own.
"I care for you, Iseeyou." He added and a tear slipped from my eyes and rolled down my cheek.
I appreciated this because it was all I'd ever really wanted; to be seen. He made his way over to me and brought me in for a kiss, his lips were soft and patient.
It was past midnight now and River was waking me back to my dorm room, we passed by Fabian on the way there who acted like he didn't see us. River and I stood in the doorway and he kissed me passionately goodnight, so much so that we didn't notice that the door to my dorm was already open.
And when I looked in to see who was in my heart stopped, and I dropped my purse.
It was mama.
Chapter 18
Red Handed
"Mama?”Ispokewithmy words caught in my throat as I still couldn't believe the sight in front of me,
There seated at my desk in her favourite purple blouse and gingham brown trousers with her arms folded and unfaltering expression was none other than my mother, Xolani Nnandi in the flesh. She hadn’t changed since the last time I saw her when she'd dropped me off at the airport three months ago and from the way she looked at me, I'd done nothingbutchange. I immediately untangled myself from River's grip and made my way over to her.
She wrapped me in a cold embrace, she was hugging me but there was nothing motherly or loving about her touch and I could almost feel the disappointment oozing off of her as I turned to River who was still standing in the doorway evidently as perplexed at the scene as I was.
"Do you have no manners?" Mama sneered, approaching River's gaze— a clear attempt to intimidate him, "At least have the courtesy to give me some time alone with my daughter."
Mama had clearly never met River because he was almost as stern and unbothered as she was, he merely turned his gaze to me to make sure I'd be okay.
"It's okay River, just go," I told him and it pained me to do so more than anything, but I knew if I had any chance of talking to my mom about us that him being in the room would make things worse.
He nodded silently before leaving the room and then it was just mama and I and all the things that needed to be said wallowing in the atmosphere. And of course, she spoke first, because even after all these years I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eye when I'd wronged her.
"So this is what your papa and I sent you to France to do eh, fornicate with men?" Mama spat bitterly and it felt like a blow to the stomach, "I knew this was why you insisted on leaving home so soon, your papa will be so disappointed in you."
"It's not at all what you think mama!" I protested and kneeled before her, "I came here because of my art, because I want to share it with the world and make you proud!"
