"Fabian?" I gasped and he dropped his spoon,
"Armani!" He greeted awkwardly and Victoria cursed under her breath,
"You two- are- oh my God." I laughed and I could see her cheeks flush, Victoria fucking King was blushing.
"I promise I wanted to tell you I just didn't know how, it's just that ever since the Halloween party his annoying arse has- I don't know- grown on me?" She confessed shyly,
"I assure you, you owe mezeroexplanations." I said getting up, "I know what to do, thank you."
That waswaytoo many surprises for one day.
I made my way downtown to the public library and took a look at a few books to do with sexuality and how and how not to bring up the conversation. As a straight woman, I didn’t exactly know what it was like to even doubt myself, I knew I'd had it easier than him and I was trying my best not to fuck things up. Admittedly I was quite the scatterbrain and I tried my best to slow down for him. Once an hour or so went by I decided that that was enough for the day and I went back to my dorm to think for a while.
I found Keomi studying at her desk and she greeted me with a hug, she told me about how she felt like she never got to see me anymore since River and I got together and I knew she was right and I felt like a bad friend and roommate.
"I'm sorry I've been so caught up lately, I promise to be there for you more from now on," I promised and she smiled,
And then when I saw the Gone Girl book on her desk I remembered the very first photo I saw of them that I'd found in there when I was looking for quotes. And that's when it clicked.
"Keomi bare with me, I'm about to sound crazy." I sighed and she gave me a confused look, "but can I please borrow that picture of you guys at the Eiffel Tower that I found that one time?"
"What- why do you need it?" She asked, grabbing it from her photo album in her drawer, and handing it to me.
"I just want to show it to River," I answered.
"Please don't lose it." She insisted and I took another look at it.
Oh God I should have known, the smudges of blue paint all over Jace is the exact same shade of paint as on River’s cheek, and arm and bottom lip. Every sign was there staring me right in the face but I chose to see what I wanted to see, I chose to remain in that dream reality where I was the only one for him, Victoria was right.
I made my way back to River's apartment and he took forever to let me up the elevator, which was strange considering I knew that he was home. When he did I made my way inside and he was standing by the kitchen counter with the box on it. My heart stopped and I realised then that he knew, somewhere somehow I went wrong and he knew I found it. His expression was unreadable but his eyes were enraged and held a significant amount of frustration.
"Pourquoi ne pouvez-vous pas simplement respecter ma vie privée?"Why couldn't you just respect my privacy?He asked in French, he only spoke to me in French like that when he was really upset and couldn’t control it.
"I'm sorry it's just- I knew you weren't telling me everything and my curiosity got the best of me," I muttered not knowing what to say to make things any better,
"Et avez-vous trouvé ce que vous cherchiez?" His voice was low and his tone was furious,And did you find what you were looking for?
"River listen I don't care who you were with before me even if it was another guy-" I began but he stepped forward and cut me off,
"I don't know what you're talking about." He refuted, his eyes are were longer angry, they looked....sad.
"You don't have to lie to me." I insisted, "I understand."
"No, you don't and you neverfuckingwill." He yelled and I took a step back,
"I can try." I suggested, my voice came out small, and I could feel the tears begin to well in my eyes, "you didn't have to lie to me."
"And you didn't have to look through my belongings without telling me." He accused, his voice laced with denial and bitterness,
"Wait River…Are you mad because ofhowI found out orbecauseI found out?" I chastised and he paused looking away at the balcony like he was trying not to cry, "oh my God…you were never going to tell me were you?"
"It doesn't matter, stop making things up." He choked and I tried to take a step closer towards him,
"I haven't even said anything yet." I reminded him because he was already panicking,
"You don't know about him, you don't know about us and I nevereverlied to you Armani. You- you just never bothered to ask, I let you assume what you wanted to." He spoke and his voice cracked and I could see his eyes rimmed with red and my heart broke,
"Why didn't you feel like you could tell me?" I cried,
