Then I remembered the box that I saw that night but it was not in the same spot it was that day. I looked everywhere for it but I couldn't find it. That was until I stepped on a slightly loose floorboard and I peeled it open, lifted the box up and placed it on the wooden table. It was made of cherrywood and lined with silver clasps, it was beautiful. I got the key and unlocked it with a click.This was wrong,I thought,I was invading his privacyI thought but oh the curiosity I thought. And it prevailed.
This was what would change everything you see, this secret little box, this was the last piece of the puzzle that I'd been searching for, this was the one thing he held closer to his heart than anything else. I remembered how this little box changed everything for us, and how what was inside was nothing I would've ever expected. This box held a truth I thought I knew deep down but couldn't bring myself to accept, the signs were all there staring me right in the face but I ignored it.
River's darkest, yet most beautiful secret, his most sacred sin, his longest nurtured lie.
Chapter 26
Old Flames Die Hard
THEREINTHEboxlay four paintings I'd never seen before, I didn't recognize the brush stroke and I immediately knew they did not come from River's hand. The first a side profile of River looking up at the night sky, constellations drawn where his pupils ought to be. I wondered if that was what the artist truly saw,starsin his eyes. The second was a close-up of his lips and it was undeniably sensual, the curve of his Cupid's bow painted so accurately you'd think it was an exact reflection, full and tinted rose.
The third was of his back, the rushing water is drawn in place of his spine, running all the way down. Every muscle, every freckle drawn in almost perfect detail. The fourth was of two hands intertwined.
The last was the one that truly caught my eye, it was a faceless nude portrait and at first, I'd assumed it wasn't him but when I saw that exact flower petal-shaped birthmark I'd run my fingers over the night we made love just below his hip, I knew, it could've only been a lover who knew his body so well. It could've only been a lover who'd seen every inch of him, who would have managed to capture his very essence with every stroke of their brush. And then I wondered, with how incredibly reserved River was which woman he would've let do so and whose paintings he would've kept so hidden from the world.
Then I saw it, the engraving on the side of the box that I'd failed to make out that night, my heart stopped as I ran my fingers over the silver lettering.
RJKM, no it couldn't be, I had to have been imagining it all. I froze as the lettering made sense in my mind, River, Jace, Kennedy, Monet: a combination of their initials. I flipped the painting over and read the little writing on the back, a handwriting I once again didn't recognize.
How does one even begin to celebrate the day of birth of their most beloved? This is a question that's lingered in my mind all month, so I did what I do best, I painted.
Happy seventeenth birthday, Je t'aime.
-JM
I remembered when I was eleven and I fell off of the feeble branches of the Willow tree in my backyard, the fall made me feel dizzy and faint but the impact as I hit the ground knocked every last breath out of my lungs, I felt like I couldn't breathe and I just lay there for a while in silence because I didn't want to get up and face the fact that I couldn't swing on that branch anymore. I felt just the same at that moment, I didn't know why I was crying I justwas. Because what I thought at that very moment was in fact the truth, and I wasn't just making assumptions that would mean a reality I wasn't ready to face just yet.
I found a collection of letters bound by thread, I opened up a few of the envelopes and read through them.
Jace,
Most of the time I feel as though not many understand me, I feel as though I am not really there. But you, you are able to comprehend the very depths of me, you make me feel real. I wish that I could show my love for you more openly, I wish you would let them see us. But I am willing to have you in any way that I can, I will wait, perhaps even forever.
-RK
River,
Today will forever be memorable for me, I’m glad that we all got to cost La Tour Eiffel together as friends. Merilla makes the best cupcakes, but getting to escape with you into the forest to paint was the highlight of my day. I looked back at the photographs and you still had my paint on your clothes, I guess we may have gotten a tad bit carried away. I saw the way Fabian looked at us then, sometimes I feel as though a part of him knows deep down what we did.
But remember our promise? We will never tell. No one can know, people ruin good things.
-JM
Jace,
What we did. What we’ve been doing. It means a lot to me, you’re the only person I want to be with. I hope that you…feel the same.
-RK
River,
I hope you know that I’m in this forever.
It will be you and I, always.
-JM
I then remembered that he could come home any minute so I placed the paintings and letters back in the box in the exact same order they were before and locked the box. I hid it back in its hiding place beneath the floorboards and got out of the art room as fast as I could. I was pacing, back and forth as tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. I was frustrated, I knew it was wrong but I felt cheated in a way and lied too. But that was the thing, technically heneverlied to me, he just concealed the truth really well and thought that hiding it away in a little box would make it go away.
