He put a finger up, “No, don’t be sorry.” He cupped her check. “You basically bared your soul to me. I can talk about things that broke me. I want you to know.” He rubbed his collarbone. It just still hurts, you know?”
She nodded and caressed his cheek.
“Right after the divorce, my dad got remarried. When I was in junior high, my mom got remarried.”
“That must have been tough, remarriages during your pre-teen years. Do you have brothers and sisters?”
Sean held up a hand. His voice was flat. “By the time I graduated from high school, my dad was on marriage three, then in college my mom caught up and was on marriage three too. And since then, my dad has gotten married and divorced a couple more times. My mom got divorced again. She finally realized marriage wasn’t for her and she’s had a couple of long-term live-in boyfriends. I have so many step-siblings I need a family forest instead of a family tree to fit everyone in.”
“Does it bother you? As an only child, anything involving having any kind of brothers and sisters is completely foreign to me.”
"Having an extended family so large I don’t think they’d all fit in Jesse’s Pub. No, that part doesn’t bother me, I suppose it’s kind of nice in its own way? The thing that bothers me, is the causal way both my parents have been in and out of marriages collecting ex’s and kids like some people collect beer steins."
Maybe I’ve idealized the pre-divorce days of my childhood. Back then, I was the only child and I felt loved. During the divorce I felt pulled in different directions by both of them, like I was a prize and in my kid brain, it wasn’t bad. Then by the time I was in high school it was like, I was their unpaid nanny. Both of them would want me to watch whatever younger kids were in the picture while they dated their newest fling. Of course, when your parents ask you to do stuff, you want to do it. You don’t get cynical about their motives, right?”
Nicole nodded.
“It was a real mind fuck for me.”
“Did you…” she started and stopped.
“Go on, you can ask me anything you want.”
“I was wondering if you’ve tried therapy, but I didn’t think it was really my business.”
He took her hand. “Nicole, we are in this for the long haul as far as I am concerned.”
She gave his hand a big squeeze. “I love you,” she whispered. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of saying that.”
“Good,” he said simply. “Yes, I did therapy back when I was in college and it helped so much. It also helped me to clarify my thoughts on having kids.”
Nicole held her breath. Her skin suddenly got clammy, and her pulse beat in her ears. She’d meant what she’d said about willing to risk her heart with Sean, but apparently her body was not fully onboard yet. “Oh?” she squeaked out.
"My therapist helped me to make peace with my resentment toward my parents and my step and half brothers and sisters. Irealized what I wanted was a constant companion. Someone to share my life who wanted to share their life with me. I want us to be able to go on a trip at the drop of a hat, to only have to consider each other in our life plans. I want to live for the day every day and not always need to have one eye on the future."
"I like kids, don’t get me wrong. They are delightful and sometimes so much smarter than adults, I just don’t want the majority of the best years I’ll have, to be focused on being responsible for the growth of another human into an adult. If you ask me, and you did, too many people on this planet don’t give any thought to what raising a child means. Like they need to take classes.”
“I’m sure you’d be a great dad.” She acknowledged.
“Considering how little I want to be a dad, I don’t know. I appreciate the vote of confidence, but it’s not for me.” He shrugged.
Nicole scooched over until they were lying face to face. She pushed her leg in between his and kissed him on his forehead, his cheeks, along his jawline, and then she came in for a kiss. She began with a chaste kiss and then tugged his bottom lip between her teeth. His tongue entered her mouth, and they were tasting each other again, and her hardened nipples were rubbing against his chest. The evidence of his arousal was pressing again her core.
She pulled back slightly and took his chin in her hand. “I’m ready to start having adventures with you.”
He leaned in and started kissing her like a starving man at a buffet. She leaned her head back, and he began kissing her neck while his hands roamed down seeking her warmth. Soon she was two fingers full and he was swirling another finger around her clit. She moaned and he twisted so that he was on top of her. He reached over to grab another condom from the box, slipping it on and then adding a little lube to his fingers. He rubbed hislubed finger over her clit, then slipped it into her wet pussy, making sure she was ready before he entered her.
“Yes, oh my God, yes,” she said. His thoughtfulness was as much of a turn-on as the way his fingers knew exactly where to press and stroke.
Chapter Thirty-One
SEAN
A crick in his neck woke him up. He wasn’t used to Nicole’s bed or sharing a bed with her yet. He smiled. Best crick ever as far as he was concerned. According to Nicole’s vintage bedside clock, it wasn’t even six o'clock. Sean knew he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep as tempting as Nicole’s bed was. He took a quick shower and then decided to wake up Nicole the only way he could—with the delicious smell of freshly ground coffee and breakfast cooking on the stove.
He walked into the kitchen and began to rummage through the fridge, pantry, and cabinets quietly. A short time later, Sean found a bag of Jamaican Me Crazy Coffee from Books and Beans and a French press. In the refrigerator, he found half a dozen eggs, ham deli meat and a few veggies. He thought a Denver scramble would be the perfect breakfast for the two of them.
He ground the coffee beans and heated water for the coffee, then he went to work chopping the veggies and ham andwhisking the eggs. He added butter to Nicole’s cast iron skillet then sauteed the vegetables. Once they were soft, he added the egg and ham mixture on top, gently mixing everything together and scrambling it. Once the eggs were firm, he plated half for Nicole and the other half for himself. He grated a little cheddar cheese on top, then covered the dishes. He was trying to decide if bringing breakfast to Nicole in bed was a bit much when she walked into the kitchen.
