“You did. But that’s OK. Because you’ve been in mine too.”
“Really?”
“Yep. So we’re even there.”
“So, maybe this is something else to celebrate. We’ve finally come together after all these years.”
Ralph grinned at Bo’s solid double entendre, but his eyes were distant.
“OK, Realty-Man... level with me. Why the sad face?”
He shrugged. “Sorry, Bo. I don’t mean to be a downer. I’ve wanted this—dreamed of it—for a long time. I’m just worried.”
“What—that it won’t last?”
“Exactly.”
They sat there for a moment, gazing at the fireplace.
“If it makes you feel any better, Ralph... My feelings for you extend a little beyond masturbation material. But we’ll still have to give it some time. I mean, I did just break up with Dale this morning.”
“That’s my point. Am I just a rebound?”
Bo thought about it, then shook his head. “No. No, not at all. The timing seems that way, but I wouldn’t be doing this with anyone else. I fully intended on holing up in this place and eating junk food all weekend. Instead, I’m here doing it with you because of the timing. We’ve always wanted to, wouldn’t you say? And now I’m a free man.”
“You were with him for a long time.”
He nodded. “Three years but, in retrospect—and I’ve been contemplating this a lot today, Ralph—I don’t think I should count the last one. I was on autopilot, maybe even to blame for the breakup. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Dale in the beginning, but something changed over the last year and I was just going through the motions. I suspected he might be fooling around. I didn’t know for sure until this morning. And right in the middle of his telling me about this guy... you know how I felt, Ralph?”
“Angry?”
“Relieved.”
“Oh.”
“I was complacent. I saw it coming, but the last thing I wanted to do was start all over again. It wasn’t dependency, for sure. Dale needs me more—financially. It’s like somewhere, deep down, I felt the need to end it and move on, but I needed a push.”
“You’re loyal,” Ralph said.
“Maybe. But when I saw the opportunity, it was like an invisible door appeared right in front of me. And I opened that fucker and walked right through.”
Bo took a swig of his beer.
“Maybe you felt sorry for him. Didn’t want to hinder him financially.”
“Yeah. There’s that.”
“And you feel less guilty now, knowing that he gave you a reason to leave.”
Bo looked at him. Ralph wasn’t sure if he was sad or angry. All he saw were the shadows dancing on his face from the flames in the fireplace.
“That’s pretty goddamn smart, Ralph. Were you a psych major?”
“No. Poli sci.”
“Well, that’s a good observation.” Bo reached out and lightly tapped Ralph’s temple. “You’ve got some Freud going on in there.”
Ralph laughed. “Yeah, maybe with you. With me, I don’t have a clue.”
