My heart flips at that. With spring approaching, I’ve been trying to figure out what Mara wants. If she wants to go home, back to her life, and pursue her dreams…
Or if she wants to stay here. With me.
It feels foolish to think that because she’s never seemed like the hermit farmer she’s become during this winter. But hearing her confess that she actually likes this life, maybe she would want to continue to live here.
And in the summer, it’s not like we couldn’t go into town as often as she wants. With roads open, we can travel, we can go to town for dinner or something. Whatever she wants.
Maybe she could have the best of both worlds.
Maybe I can keep her in my world.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Mara-Present
Sleep Deprivation-Chance Peña
“It’s definitely melting but not quite safe to drive on,” Dylan announces upon walking through the back door, stripping his heavy coat and boots off.
The temperature has been rising steadily the past couple weeks. There’s certainly less snow than there has been in months, but I guess not quite enough to drive into town. Which means we are one day closer to facing the subject of whether I leave or stay. I think Jason wants me to stay, I think we’ve made so much progress and become a real couple, but he hasn’t made any indication that he wants me to stay. For all I know he could drag me out of bed tomorrow and drive me back down the mountain.
I just need to put my big girl pants on and talk to him about it. This whole not-talking-about-our-feelings thing is the worst book trope out there. Communication is key. And if he doesn’t want me to stay, at least I’ll have my answer and only a couple more days of living with someone who doesn’t want me.
If that’s the case, of course.
Best case scenario, he wants me to stay and we drive to town to get my things and move me in permanently.
I swore I wouldn’t live with a guy again before marriage after my ex and the fiasco of our break up. Then again, I didn’t really havea choice when it came to Jason. But we’ve proven we can handle it.
“Do you guys have a first day of freedom tradition, or anything?“ I ask as Jason prepares sandwiches for all of us with the bread I made this morning. While Dylan takes his seat at the kitchen table.
“We usually just go to town to restock groceries and liquor,” Dylan laughs. “We bulk up on provisions like flour and milk, things like that, in case we get a freak snow storm that locks us up here again. Hasn’t happened to us yet, but I remember it happened once when I was a kid and we were already home in town, glad we weren’t stuck at the cabin.”
“Worried about a false spring?”
“One can never be too careful.”
Jason and I are cocooned into bed after dinner when I dig deep in my core to muster the courage to ask what neither of us has acknowledged.
“Jason,” I ask from the bed while he adds another log to the fire across the room. “Do you want me to stay here? After the snow melts, I mean?”
His head whips around in a flash, his long hair fanning around him in the process. The sharpness to his eyes makes me second guess myself. Maybe that’s not what he wants at all. Maybe I’m overstepping his boundaries.
And that’s when the rambling starts. “I mean, I don’t have to. I can go back to town. I just didn’t know if you wanted me to stay or not. You know what? Forget I said anything. I’m fine going back to town. Though I guess I don’t know if you still want to see me again or not after that. I know the sex has been good but there’s more to life than sex. You have to actually see a future with someone to live with them, or so I’m—“
Before I can dig my grave any deeper, Jason has flown across the room to the bed and captured my mouth in a searing kiss that brands me as his.
Question answered.
I break away to clarify, “Is that a yes? You want me to stay?”
I’ve never seen him smile so brightly, it’s beautiful. His smile has an infectious effect on my soul that makes me feel like I’m full of carbonation, bubbly and happy.
Jason nods vigorously shaking hair into his face that I brush out of theway with trembling hands he steadies with his own.
“I’m happy here.” I feel the need to assure Jason. I want to shout it from the rooftop, to be honest. “I’m happy with you.”
All of this makes me think of the three little words that every couple should be saying right about now but we haven’t admitted to each other. We just overcame one hurtle, I don’t want to add anymore weight to this moment and just enjoy the fact that he wants me.
