After we’re good and clean and warm, I hand her a towel to dry off and go to the bedroom to change the comforter for a heavy Pendleton wool blanket I have for the especially cold nights. With a fire going in the hearth, it will be more than enough for tonight.
When I go back to the bathroom, I take her delicate hand in mine and lead her back to the bedroom.
I hope she doesn’t plan on wearing another one of my shirts to bed cause I want to feel every inch of her against me tonight. I want the constant reminder that it’sherbeside me, wrapped around me, it’s her I’m holding.
So I pull back the covers and slide into bed, bringing her with me so she’s cradled against my chest. We’re propped against the pillows which isn’t conducive for sleeping but I don’t think either one of us is ready for bed yet.
Mara tugs the blankets over her chest, flattening them against her by laying her arms over the material.
“You want me to sleep here tonight?” She asks, her voice laced with hesitation.
I just tighten my hold on her in response, bracing the arm that’s already wrapped around her and laying my free hand on her thigh.
We can’t look one another in the face very well from this position.
“I’ve never done that before,” Mara admits to me, which only inflates my ego further.
“What does this mean?”
I don’t know. I don’t know how to convey what I’m feeling, and I’m notsure I know how to describe it, either.
“You don’t have to put a label on it,” she says soothingly. I won’t deny the way my chest eases at that. I don’t know what to call it or what she wants, for that matter. But I want her.
“I guess the better question I should be asking is what do you want?”
Her!But I don’t know how to tell her that without words. So I shift her in my hold so I can see her angelic face. The last time I kissed her, I didn’t even think about it before acting. This time, I overthink to compensate. Did I do it right?
Well, the way she squirted on me after makes me think I did.
So I lower my head so we share the same air and tenderly brush my lips against hers, deepening the kiss after I’m sure she wants it.
I thought she was addicting before, with her tight body and curves. But I underestimated the effect her kiss would have on me, soft, plump lips and all.
God,she’s so beautiful. I don’t know why she looks even prettier now but somehow she does. It’s like the hope shining in her eyes creates an ethereal glow around her. I can’t get over it.
When I pull away from her, I know by the way she rests her head on me, cheek to chest, that she understands what I want. There’s a palpable burden lifted from her shoulders and she eases into me.
She eventually falls asleep on me so I settle into the bed a bit more so it’s more comfortable for her. But I lie awake much longer, unable to stop my brain from turning over and over like an engine powering itself.
Everything just changed.
And I think I like it.
Which makes me feel uneasy.
Now that I’ve kissed Mara, I can’t stop.
And kissing her so frequently leads to more sex, as well. The lack of condoms since we used the last one I had in the house has become a problem, mainly because cleaning her up afterward is getting tedious. But thank God Mara likes to swallow.
I wanted to show her that sex doesn’t always have to be something she overthinks. And she likes to thank me for that on a regular basis. After I’ve given her three or four orgasms, she gets on her knees for me and makes me see stars.
With her sleeping in my bed every night, I don’t have as many nightmares as usual, but they haven’t stopped completely. On one side of the coin, it’s nice having her in my arms to ease my sleep, and when I do have a nightmare, she brings me instant relief.
But on the other side of the coin, she’s starting to notice that they happen semi-regularly. Though she doesn’t ask what I’m dreaming about since she knows I won’t answer. But I see a million questions dancing in her irises. She knows something is going on.
Or maybe she knows it’s something from the past. She’s too perceptive sometimes.
Dad took me to work with him because I got sent home for hitting Bryce Quinn. No one believed me when I said he and his friends were breaking all my crayons and throwing them away so I couldn’t color. So I’m the one that got in trouble. The school called Dad and he can’t take time off work so I have to go with him to the mill.
