“I’m still trying to get someone from Cold Shore to meet with me, but they keep putting me off until this specific person gets back from the main base at the end of summer.Right now, I don’t have any plan beyond that.”
“But what about Ripley?”Edie pressed.“Are you meaning to bring a lioness with you?”
“I don’t know.I thought maybe if my help was valuable enough to Cold Shore, I’d be able to keep her with me.She sleeps so much anyway, especially in the winter.Or maybe if I had to, I thought I could find someone else to take care of her.”I shook my head.“I don’t know that I had a clear plan for all of it.I knew that I had to get out of there, and Ripley would go with me, the way she’d always gone with me.So that’s what happened.”
Edie nodded, her expression thoughtful.“We’re all together again, so we’ll figure it out, like we always do.”
“I trust that you can speak for yourself, and even Stella and Fae to a degree, but I don’t think Boden is going to be quite so eager to forgive me.”
“Well, have you tried apologizing?”Edie asked pointedly.“Like an honest, soul bearing, apology?Because that usually goes a long way.”
“I have not,” I admitted.
“He’s walking around town, if you want to go find him,” Edie said.“Since you know this place, and you know him, you’ll likely have a good idea where to look.”
I didn’t answer her, just letting the words settle, and helped Fae with her drawing.But even later on, after Edie and Fae had gone back to their room, her words echoed in my head.I took a fortifying breath and set off to find Boden, so I could make things right.
68
Remy
Night had fallen on Glacier Valley, and the main street was illuminated by lanterns hanging on posts.Beyond the main roads was mostly darkness, except for the amber glow from windows here and there.
Edie had more confidence in my ability to find Boden than I had in myself.Part of it was because I hadn’t actually done all that much exploring beyond the main street.Ripley and I headed out in the mountains and foothills for hunting and hiking, but otherwise, I mostly stuck to the stretch between three locations:The Frozen Graveinn,Glacier’s Edgepub, and the Cold Shore outpost.
But I also knew that Boden wouldn’t want to wander too far off, as not to risk getting lost, so I decided not to overthink it.I followed the main road southwest, and when I didn’t see any sign of him, I kept on going.Beyond the shops and the glow of the final lantern.The boardwalk stretched nearly another kilometer over a tidal estuary until it ended at the fjord.
This far south of Glacier Valley, there was nothing else because the marshland was too unstable for building, making it eerily quiet compared to the heart of the town.There were only the quiet calls of night birds echoing off the mountains and the rhythmic lapping of water against the wooden pilings.The air was cool and carried the crisp, briny scent of the sea, filling my lungs with each fortifying breath I took.
I saw him before I reached him, and even in the dim twilight, I recognized him by the way his silhouette leaned against the railing.
“Is that you, Remy?”Boden asked without turning around, so my footsteps creaking on the boards must’ve alerted him.
“It is, but you’d feel awfully silly if it wasn’t.”
He was still leaning on the railing, unwilling to look at me even though our faces were mostly hidden by the darkness anyway.
“You have really distinct footsteps.You don’t lift your foot all the way, so you drag the heel of your boot across the boards.”
“Oh yeah?”I leaned against the railing beside him, because it seemed like the thing to do, and I stared at the dark blue water reflecting the starry sky above us.It was disorienting, like staring into infinity, but it was a nice distraction from the tension that made me want to crawl out of my skin.“Well, I guess it’s good to know that my footsteps haven’t changed.”
“Why would they have?”Boden asked, bemused.
“Oh, right.”I realized his confusion.“You don’t know.I lost two toes to frostbite back in December.They were just the little ones, and considering all the other organs I’ve lost, it’s not that bothersome for me.”
He finally looked over at me, and I could feel the severity of his gaze more than I could see it.“You lost two fucking toes, and you’re telling me it’s no big deal?Christ, Remy.What else happened to you?”
“A lot of things, some good, some bad,” I confessed quietly.“What happened to you while I was gone?”
“Do you even care?”he asked cynically.
I sighed, even though I knew that I deserved some of his anger.“You know that I care.”
“No, I don’t, Remy.You just left me!”Boden yelled.“Do you understand that?No conversation, no invitation to come with, not even a goodbye.And you did it in such a way that you knew I wouldn’t be able to follow you.Do you know how hard that was for me?To go through the whole fucking winter without knowing whether you were alive or dead?”
“I’m sorry, Boden,” I said, and I could barely get the words out around the lump in my throat.Tears were burning in my eyes, but I fought them back with all I could.“I am truly so, so sorry.I know I fucked up.I really do.And I know it won’t change anything, but I swear that I never wanted to hurt you.”
“I know that, Remy!”He was still yelling, but he sounded more exasperated than angry.“I’m upset because you did know that it would hurt meandStella,and you did it anyway!Our pain wasn’t enough of a deterrent to you!”
