“It has,” I said, stepping up to the bed to squeeze her hand. I didn’t quantify how long it had been since I didn’t know what herlong timehad meant.
“I haven’t seen your mother in a while. When do you start school? Caden leaves at the end of August.”
Caden met my gaze with a slow nod. She thought it was right after graduation, around the time we’d lost touch. It felt a surreal kind of awful to be catapulted back to that time. I wished itwere real outside of Mrs. Williams’s head. I’d do so many things differently.
Before I could figure out how to answer, we all turned to a knock on the door.
“Sorry to interrupt a visit.” A nurse in pink scrubs came up to her bed. “Your doctor is on the phone, and I thought your son would like to speak to him.”
“Yes, I’ll be right there,” Caden said. “Sabrina will keep you company until I get back.” He snuck me a smile before following the nurse outside.
“He’s such a worrywart for a young kid.” She shook her head at his departure. “But my head hurts too much to get on the phone. I hope I’m getting discharged soon. I need to get out of here and get everything for Caden’s dorm. I’ll miss him when he’s in Pennsylvania, and I’m sure you will too.”
She chuckled as she patted my hand.
“I’m glad you came back. He’s been so sad since you stopped coming over.”
“He…has?” I didn’t know how to answer that. I guessed the timeline in her head was right after Jesse and Emily broke up and we stopped speaking.
“Not as sad as Jesse. That poor kid hasn’t cracked a smile for weeks. Caden tries to be upbeat for him, but I see it when he’s alone.” She pressed off the bed, wincing as she held her head.
“Careful,” I told her as I guided her back down to the mattress.
“My son loves you. I knew it a long time ago.” She squeezed my wrist before her eyes drifted closed. “And when he looked at you just now, it was so obvious.” She tapped my chin with her knuckle. “I’m so happy you’re back. I was waiting for the two of you to figure it out.”
Caden loved me? I wouldn’t correct her, but we hadn’t been like that back then. Sure, she’d caught us in a lot of bad positions, but we were just friends. Mostly.
I wished for that time again. It was so easy. Now was really fucking hard.
I never wanted to get married again or fall in love with someone who’d only hurt me in the end.
Caden would never hurt me, and when my mind drifted between then and now, maybe I’d been the one hurting him for years and not realizing it. Like when I’d tell him how great it was that we had no attachments or regrets back in high school, or when I wrote off the amazing night together as an old hookup.
Friends with benefits didn’t work as easily these days as it did back when we were teenagers. Now, we were adults and aware enough of the big feelings to fear them.
And I had so many big feelings for Caden. Feelings that terrified me to my core.
Caden had never scared me—until now.
“Okay, the doctor says everything looks good and you need some rest.” Caden came up to her bed and kissed her cheek. “Sabrina brought me dinner so I’m going to eat, and you will go to sleep. I’ll come back tomorrow.”
“Okay. You get some rest too. While you still can this summer.”
“It was good to see you, Mrs. Williams.” I squeezed her hand. “I’ll leave these here for you.” I set the vase of flowers with all the others next to her bed and headed outside.
“I guess that’s one silver lining in all this. I get to relive my younger years,” he joked as we headed down the hall. “Thanks for bringing me dinner.”
“You’re welcome. I just wish there was something more I could do.”
“Nothing, really. Like I said, she’s comfortable and was happy to see you.” He sent me a crooked grin. “Maybe she went back to that summer in her head because you still look so good.”
I rolled my eyes, despite the burn in my throat.
“Yeah, life didn’t age me at all.”
“It didn’t. Gorgeous then, even more gorgeous now.”
My gaze snagged on his as my vision blurred. It was amazing how a woman living in another time forced me to see what I’d been avoiding in the present.
