“This is dry enough to go home in.” I smirked at Jesse as I pulled the hem down. “Thank you for lending me your hoodie.” I scooped it off the living room floor and handed it to him.
He stared at the shirt in his hands before he shook his head and stood over me.
“Keep it.” He fisted the material to widen the collar and lifted it over my head, holding my eyes as he pulled it down. “I’d say add it to your collection, but I assume you’ve burned what you had.”
“Not burned,” I said, clearing my throat when I noticed the squeak in my voice. “Donated.”
He chuckled and pulled me into his arms, leaning his forehead against mine.
“Can you text me when you get home?”
“Of course.” I framed his face and brushed his lips, light enough not to start anything else, but I couldn’t resist one more tiny kiss. “And you don’t have to walk me. I’m only parked in your driveway.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he muttered, stepping ahead of me to open his front door.
I’d hoped for a quick getaway tonight, my urge to get away from Jesse just as strong as never wanting to let him go.
But I needed a minute. And as much as he wanted to be all in, I believed he did too.
“Thanks for getting me here safely,” I teased as I stepped into my car. “I promise I’ll text you when I’m home.”
Jesse didn’t laugh or smile or even look at me.
“Goodnight, Em. Drive safe.”
He shut my door, squeezing my chest with all that sadness pulling at his features. I forced a smile and threw him a small wave before I started my engine and backed out of his driveway.
As I turned away from his street, I had a new sympathy for Jesse. Driving away from the person you loved was the worst feeling in the world, even when it was the right thing to do.
19
JESSE
I drovearound for what seemed like forever to find a damn spot in the hospital parking lot. I finally found one so far away from the entrance, I had to jog what felt like a mile to get to the emergency room doors.
“Sir, can I help you?”
The clerk lifted her glasses from the chain dangling around her neck and slid them on.
“Yes, I’m here to see Carmela Patterson. She was brought in by ambulance.”
She nodded, sifting through the papers on the desk before turning back to me.
“She’s still undergoing tests. No one can be back there right now, but you could have a seat.” She pointed a bright-pink fingernail toward the waiting room behind me.
I was about to argue when I spotted Emily, hunched over her tablet in the corner of the empty waiting room.
“Thank you,” I muttered as I rushed over.
As I approached, I found a sleeping Emily, her eyes shut as her head rested against her hand. She’d texted me this morning that her mother had been rushed to the hospital in the middle ofthe night and that she couldn’t make the game today, but I didn’t know how long she’d been here.
I wished she would have called me right when it happened, but she probably didn’t because she knew I had Maddie and couldn’t leave without someone to watch her—or at least, I wanted to believe that.
As excruciating as it was, I’d given Emily space after she’d left my house last weekend. When I’d thought I finally had her back, she’d left. She’d said she didn’t blame me for how I’d broken up with her, but when I trudged back inside after she’d driven away, alone with remnants of Emily still all over me, I couldn’t help thinking I’d finally gotten what I’d deserved.
I still spoke to her every day, but we hadn’t known how to act around each other at soccer practice this week. She hadn’t avoided me, but neither of us could make eye contact. Every time I’d looked her way, I’d thought of her in my arms, in my bed, the taste of her as she came on my tongue. My mind and body would react to the memories if I stared too long, so I’d tried to focus on the rest of the field instead of the woman I’d always loved.
But if I wanted her, I had no option other than to wait, and I couldn’t push, even if the paralyzing helplessness made me want to jump out of my skin.
