I’d bounced from relationship to relationship for so many years, to the point I didn’t even try for one anymore. I’d figured I was meant for a bachelor’s life and tried my best to write off how happy I’d been with Emily as first love between teenagers.
Then I saw her at our reunion, and it was like that first day I’d knocked all the pencils off her desk. I’d come alive in a way I hadn’t in too many years to remember, and all theold feelingsI’d forced myself to dismiss had come back in a rush, along with another set of complications brought on once again by my insecure, frazzled mind.
I debated ordering something or going for a drive to quell my nerves when the chime of my doorbell, along with an angry knock, filtered down my hallway. A smile broke out on my face as I headed to the door. She sounded pissed, but she cared enough to come here and say so, and I took that as a great sign.
Fighting for her would take time, but making her mad enough to seek me out felt like a tiny victory.
Sure enough, I opened the door to a furious Emily. Her eyes were narrowed to slits as she tapped on the brick next to the doorframe. Her chest heaved up and down with quick breaths, and she glared at me as if she wanted to rip me apart.
“Come in,” I said, moving aside for her to cross the threshold. I wouldn’t ask her if she was okay because that answer would be no, she wasn’t, and it was because of me and my antics tonight.
But again, I’d gotten her here.
She stalked past me, raking a hand through her tousled hair as she stormed into my living room and threw her purse on my couch.
“I’m guessing you’re still mad.” I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans and inched closer, biting back a laugh when her brown eyes, almost black with fury, grew wide.
“Still mad? Are you serious? When did you decide all this?”
“When did I decide what?” I asked, still making a slow approach toward her and keeping myself at a far enough distance in case she wanted to hit me.
“When did you decide that you loved me and that you wanted me back?”
“About four blocks away from your house the night we broke up.” I lifted my shoulder in a sad shrug.
She took deep breaths through her nostrils as if she was ready to charge at me.
“I’m so close to punching you right now.”
“I can see that.”
“That was twenty fucking years ago.” Her words quivered as if she was about to explode. “And you’ve been back in my life for months. You wouldn’t even agree to a hypothetical cup of coffee at first because you weren’t ready for anything. Which I understood under the circumstances, but then you wait until another man asks me out on a date to decide that you’ve changed your mind.”
“I never changed my mind.” I ate up the distance between us in two steps. “I couldn’t keep you then, and I thought I couldn’t be what you needed now. But there was never a day, never a second, since that first day we met when I didn’t want you.”
I stood over her, holding her angry gaze.
“Yeah, it’s been twenty fucking years. It could be a hundred, and you’d still be the one. Theonlyone.”
She shoved my shoulder, her jaw tight as her eyes went glossy.
“Stop saying things like that.”
“Why did you kiss me last week?”
She rolled her eyes. “You were drunk. I thought if I kissed you, it would appease you enough that you’d pass out.”
“That’s all?” I whispered, pressing my hand to the small of her back to pull her close. “What about before? The restaurant parking lot. You seemed to be pretty into it for onlyappeasingme.”
I cupped her chin, gliding my thumb over her mouth and letting out a hiss when, despite how anger still radiated off every inch of her, she parted her lips to bite it.
“I meant what I said that night, even if I slurred the words out. I’d make it so good, baby.We’dbe so good.” I dipped my head, brushing the hair off her shoulder to paint kisses down her neck, and slid her jacket off. She didn’t move but didn’t push me away. I dove in harder, trailing openmouthed kisses behind her ear and pressing her closer to me when she slumped in my arms.
“Jesse, please,” she breathed out, breaking out of my hold and heading for the door. “I can’t… It’s all too much.”
“No, it’s just fucking right,” I said, coming behind her as she grasped the bottom railing of my staircase. “It was always you, Em. I know you need some time to believe me, but I won’t stop saying it.” I buried my head into the crook of her shoulder and ran my lips up her neck. She leaned into me, right against the aching bulge about to burst through my zipper.
“I mean it. I’ll wait. I’ve been waiting for you for a long time, even if I only found the balls to admit it now.” I caught her cheek lift. “I’ll do whatever you want.”
