“I’m Jesse,” he’d said after his jaw had relaxed enough to give me a genuine smile.
“I’m Emily.” My reply was gravelly as I tried to will the air back into my lungs.
From that day on, no other boy had given me a reason for even a second glance. Friends never understood, all of our parents were concerned, but we’d never cared.
He was the bright spot of my every day from that moment on. He came to every soccer game, cheering so loudly, I’d hear him from wherever I was on the field, listened for hours when my mother’s pushing would frustrate me to the point of tears, and starred in all my dreams about now and the future.
The only ones who needed to get us were us.
“I worry about you. All those romance novels warp your mind.”
“They don’t warp my mind. They keep me optimistic. All books are good like that. You should give one a try.”
“You’re a bookworm too adorable for this world, Em. Hey, I’m rooting for you both, but I’m just a little scared for you, if I’m being honest.”
That made two of us.
“Maybe I don’t have to go so far. Nothing wrong with community college until I figure things out, right?” A nervous laugh escaped me as I admitted out loud for the first time what I’d been contemplating for weeks.
My eyes clenched shut when Sabrina gasped.
“Youcannotbe serious. You busted your ass getting straight As and practicing every damn day, to give up a full scholarship and go to community college? That is fucking ridiculous. As your best friend, I won’t let you do that.”
“What are you going to do?” I taunted. “Come over and shake me?”
“No, I’ll call your mother and tell her what you’re planning to do.”
I winced, picturing how my mother would totally lose it if she had any idea what I was considering.
“You’re going to state college. What’s the big deal?”
She groaned in my ear. “I was a B student and still have no clue what my major will be. You’ve had it all figured out since before I even met you. Maybe you’re the smarter one of us, but I won’t let you be stupid and throw your future away for a guy. Even if it is Jesse.”
My eyes fell on the large acceptance packet at the edge of my desk, detailing the terms of my full scholarship, including room and board. If I called the admissions office and said that I wasn’t coming after all, they’d immediately give my scholarship to thenext female soccer player on the long list. Maybe it was a crazy decision, but shouldn’t at least one decision about my life be up to me, regardless of what my reasons were?
“It was just a thought,” I lied as I headed downstairs, just as Jesse pulled up in front of my house. “Let me go. Jesse is here.”
“Fine. But promise me you aren’t going to do anything dumb.”
“Aren’t you heading to Caden’s later after he breaks up with Corinne?”
“Look, fuck his brains out all summer if you want. I have no issue with that and even encourage it. Just don’t give up your scholarship. At least think about it before you?—”
“I’ll think. I promise.”
“Fine. I know I’m being a bitch to you right now, but it’s because I love you.”
I stared out my window as I waited for Jesse to get out of his father’s old Corolla. As I peeked out the glass, a bad feeling settled into my gut. Jesse had shut off the engine but stayed in the driver’s seat, tapping on the steering wheel as if he was either agitated or nervous.
“I know that. And I love you too. Let me go, I’ll talk to you later.”
I hung up and opened my door to head to where Jesse was parked. His head jerked to mine when he noticed me, but he didn’t flash me that slow, dirty smile. Instead, he stepped out of the car and slammed the door as if he was bracing for a fight.
“Is everything okay? Why do you look so tense?”
His features were tight, his brown brows knit together when I clasped the back of his clammy neck. He bored his eyes into mine for a long minute but jerked away when I tried to kiss him.
“Okay, what the hell is going on? Tell me what happened. Are you all right?”
