“You're mine, Samantha—and I'm yours. You, me, Bella. We’re a family. My family. This is not what you think it is. I would never hurt you like that. I love you so much.Always you.You’re my life, my everything, my entire fucking world. I'll never let you go. I can't. I won't.”
I was about to get down on my knees right there on the sidewalk and beg.
“Sir, is there a problem?” A cop in uniform walked over, looking at my grip on Sam’s arm and most likely thinking I was trying to hurt her.
“No, officer. I was getting into a cab. Everything is fine.”
Samantha looked back at me. “Goodbye, Lucas.” I shook my head at her. No fucking way was this goodbye. It couldn’t be.
“No!” I grabbed her face, desperately trying to somehow get through to her. “You can't tell me goodbye. I can't be without you. Please just fucking listen to me!” I was close to full-on sobbing but didn’t give a shit. I needed to make Sam see how much I loved her—she had to believe me. I reached for her, but the cop grabbed me by the shoulders and shoved me away. It was January, and I was outside with no shirt. I must’ve looked and sounded like a lunatic.
Our eyes locked, and I silently pleaded with her to stay. I mouthed, “please” and saw her stumble. I reached for her hand, and she looked down at the ground before gazing up at me and reaching back. I let out a deep breath, so relieved that I hadn’t lost her. We’d talk. We’d fix this. There were no more obstacles or legal bullshit to keep us apart. This woman wasmine, and I was going to be fucking damned if I let her get away.
“Luc, you okay?” Nicole appeared at my side, touching my arm like she was comforting me. Sam jerked back from me, and my stomach twisted knowing she was about to walk out of my life. She glowered at me, anger now overtaking the sorrow in her eyes.
“You told me goodbye last night. I'm just saying it back.” Sam nodded toward Nicole. “Enjoy your new old life, the one you had before some plain Jane and her kid wasted your time.”
How could she think that?Sam and Bella were everything to me. I’d never fucked up anything so royally in my entire life.
Sam bolted to the cab and got in. The driver drove away so fast the tires screeched.
I was screaming like a mad man, “Stop! I love you! Please talk to me!” But the cab was already halfway down the street. Now that Sam had left, the cop gave me a stern look and moved away.
I wiped the wetness off my face and turned to Nicole.
“What the fuck was that? Why would you touch me like that in front of her? That’s the woman I love who now thinks I had sex with you—please just go.” I put my face in my hands and rubbed my eyes. I’d never had the urge to hit a woman before but was dangerously close.
“Lucas, I’m sorry if I caused any trouble—”
“Thank you for seeing me home last night, but you need to leave,now.” She nodded and moped away. I wished she’d left me on the fucking street.
I ran back up to my apartment and checked my phone. There were a ton of unread texts and voice mails—all from Sam. I didn’t blame her at all for thinking what she did. I stormed out of her house, wouldn’t answer her all night, and then she came over to my apartment to find a naked woman in my kitchen.How the hell was I going fix this?
I was desperate, and I needed to find a way to make her listen to me—and I could only think of one person who might be able to help.
“Lucas? Why are you calling so early? Is everything okay?”
“Daina. I need you to help me … please.”
Twenty-Six
Samantha
Once I got backto my house, I was a zombie. I cried so much in the cab that I was dehydrated and dizzy. My phone was going off with text after text from Lucas, and with calls—which I sent straight to voice mail—in between. I would never shut my phone off when Bella wasn’t with me, so I had to look at one painful message after another.
Lucas: Sam, please talk to me. I swear nothing happened.
Lucas: Please listen to me. I love you. Don’t shut me out.
Lucas: I can’t lose you. I’m losing my mind. Please answer me.
Lucas: Did you get home OK? At least give me that.
Really?Give him that?Did he give me any peace of mind last night? All my calls and texts went unanswered, and now I knew why. The asshole could suffer as far as I was concerned.
Marc’s mother sent me a text asking if she could keep Bella another day since she was off from school on Monday. I was still pissed at her for not telling me Marc was back, but I couldn’t face Bella yet. I needed the extra day to deal with my misery, so I could pretend to have a brave face. I couldn’t think about how I would tell her Lucas and I weren’t together anymore. Every time I thought about it, I broke into tears.
I was home alone for a few hours before I decided to completely embrace my torment. I took one of Lucas’s shirts out of his drawer—yes, he had a drawer—and put it on. It smelled like him, and I wrapped my arms around myself. I crawled onto my bed and, as I did last night, laid my head on his pillow and let the sobs roll yet again.
