“I know figuring out who was going to pick up Bella from school wasn’t the reason we haven’t really spoken in two weeks.” I thought backing off a bit was better for both of us. Maybe it was just better forme.
“Lucas, I never meant to hurt you. I guess I didn’t know what to say or how to handle it. I didn’t have a real marriage. I always knew that, but being with you made me realize how empty it really was. I saw how much I was settling these past few years. You make me feel things and want things I didn’t think were possible anymore. And I guess I was afraid of wanting it too much and having to deal with losing it.”
Lucas exhaled like he’d been holding his breath and sat back in his chair.
“I was afraid I’d lost you. You’ve become so important to me. I thought I pushed you and scared you off.” A man caring this much about having me in his life was new territory. I moved closer to him, taking his hand and interlocking my fingers with his.
“Did I sound scared that night? Or the next morning?” I gave him a little smile. He smirked at me, and I could tellmyLucas was back.
“I do remember you screaming, but you didn’t sound scared, no.”Smart-ass. Yes, I started this but my face got hot, and I knew it was turning red.
“Really, Sam? After everything we’ve done, you’re still blushing?” Lucas shook his head.
I shrugged. “I guess you could blame my half-Irish skin.” I tried to hide how nervous I was. “I’m divorcing Marc, finally. I really shouldn’t start anything with anyone now.”
Lucas’s face fell. He nodded and tried to take his hand away from mine. I stopped him and held his hand tighter.
“But you’ve become important to me, too—and I don’t regret a single second of that night. Whether or not it’s the right time, I want to take a chance. Can we take things really slow?” I squinted my eyes at him, nervous and tempted to shut out his reaction.
A slow smile spread across Lucas’s face as he nodded. “I would like that. I missed texting you good morning and goodnight, and hearing you laugh. I … missed you so much.”
“I missed you too.” It always felt so right when Lucas and I were together—effortless and wonderful. I thought we could have something special, and we deserved the chance to try. I hoped it wouldn’t end up hurting both of us.
“I think I should head back to the office. I have a call with a client in a little bit.” Lucas was still holding my hand and helped me up.
“Yeah, I should get back too.” I followed as he led me outside. “I’ll call you tonight after Bella goes to sleep.” I wrapped my arms around his neck like it was the most natural thing in the world. He put his hands on my waist and pulled me closer.
“You’resure?” He cocked an eyebrow at me.
“Yes, I promise.” I gave him a soft, lingering kiss on his lips.
Lucas’s eyes got wide, and he gave me a surprised look. “I thought we were going to take it slow?”
I shrugged and gave him a big smile. “We don’t have to go that slow.”
“Well, in that case …”
Lucas pulled my arm back and gave me arealkiss. A kiss like the one that started everything back at his apartment—hard and wet and wonderful. We were all tongues and lips, and he always tasted so frigging good. I pulled back, feeling a little dizzy.
“Talk to you later.”
At the end of the long city block, I looked back, and Lucas hadn’t moved. He had his hands in his pockets and was smiling, watching me.
“Don’t you have a client call?” I yelled across Park Avenue.
He shrugged. “Yeah, but I have time to enjoy the view,” he shouted back.
I shook my head and kept walking, not able to hide the goofy Kool-Aid smile on my face. I prayed if this was all still a dream, I wouldn’t wake up anytime soon.
Twelve
Samantha
One month passed,and I hadn’t heard a peep from Marc. Robyn confirmed he was served with the papers, but he wouldn’t answer my texts asking if he got them. I did everything she advised—locks were changed, and our joint checking account was closed. I called Marc to let him know, and he sent me straight to voice mail. He was as done with our marriage as I was, and I hoped he would just sign the papers so we could both move on.
Lucas and I were back to all day texting and long conversations at night after Bella went to bed. One night I fell asleep since it was so late, and I woke up to the phone in my ear and a text from Lucas saying my breathing sounded adorable. I didn’t feel right leaving my daughter with a babysitter so we could go on a date; at least, not right now. When Julianna asked Bella for another sleepover that Saturday night, I asked Lucas if he’d like to go out. I didn’t think I was ready to sleep with him again quite yet, even though I was very “ready” whenever I thought about being with Lucas again. But if we were going to have a real chance, I had to make sure my head was clear. Being drunk off great sex wouldn’t put me in a decent place to have good judgment.
Lucas said he had the perfect place to go, and to meet him at the corner of 34thand 6that six o’clock. When I got there, he looked breathtaking as usual and was leaning against the building. Even standing there, the man had serious swagger. He wore a gray T-shirt under a black jacket and black jeans. He made anything he wore look mouthwatering, and at least for tonight, this perfection was all mine. I didn’t know where we were going, so I wore a green wrap dress with my favorite black leather knee-high boots and matching black leather jacket.
