There was a lot to figure out now. I needed to find after-school care for Bella—and figure out how to explain everything to her. I closed my eyes to focus on straightening out my clusterfuck of a life. And getting the image of sexy blue eyes out of my head.
* * *
I pickedup Bella after I managed to pull myself somewhat together. As I pulled up to Julianna’s house, Bella saw me from the front window and waved. The door opened, and she ran out to hug me, almost knocking me over. She was my little twin—same dark brown hair, pale skin, and light brown eyes.
“Mrs. Christensen, when can Bella stay here again?”
“Soon, Julianna. I promise. Did you guys have fun?”
“Yup! It was great!” Julianna was so boisterous, and my Bella just smiled and nodded.
I strapped her into the car and drove off. I took a deep breath, thinking about how I would spin this to be not a big deal.
“Daddy got a new job and won’t be back for a while. Looks like we’ll be having fun sleepovers, only us!” Even a five-year-old could see through that crap a mile away, and Bella was smart.
She answered me with a quiet okay. Marc was right. Bella was a mommy’s girl, but only because her father didn’t spend any time trying to be close to her. There were days when he barely spoke to her. I hoped the years before her mother grew a pair of balls and kicked her father out didn’t affect her for the long term.
I stayed in Bella’s room all night, so I wouldn’t have to deal with Marc when he got back. Once she fell asleep, I decided to call Daina. If I didn’t tell someone about the twilight zone I had entered, I would go insane.
When I told her I threw Marc out, there was nothing but silence.
“You’re serious?” Daina gasped.
“As a heart attack, Day.”
“Good! Babe, I’ve been telling you for years. You deserve so much better than Marc—and so does Bella. Maybe I should call my cousin. Since you two formed this cute little friendship he talks about you—a lot. It would make his day knowing you threw that piece of shit out of the house.”
I was about to say this out loud. And then it would be true.
“Well . . . about that. Last night when Bella was at Julianna’s and Marc was in Atlantic City, I went over to Lucas’s apartment. One thing kind of lead to another and—”
“Holy hell!” Daina screamed in my ear. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying? What time did you get home?”
I took a deep breath before answering. “After eight this morning.”
“What?”This time, she screamed so loud I almost dropped the phone. “Wow, you actually spent the night with Lucas? That has been your dream for what, more than ten years? Sort of crappy timing though. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I think.” I paused. No, I didn’t think that at all right now. “Ugh, I don’t know. When did my life become such a mess?”
“I’m glad you finally stood up for yourself. And, although I’m not condoning doing what you did while you’re still married, I think getting close to Lucas made you see how badly you were being treated and made you realize you’d had enough.”
At least Daina didn’t judge me. I felt a little better.
“So, tell me. How was it?”
“Ew, Daina! He’s your cousin! You don’t find discussing this a tad bit gross?”
“A little, but you should have your moment after waiting so long. So …”
I took a deep breath. How could I describe sex with Lucas?
“It wasunbelievable; I think I’m ruined for anyone else. Better than any fantasy I’ve ever had about Lucas and trust me, over the years there have been a lot—”
“Moment over. Have you talked to him since then?”
“Not yet. He texted me after I left to say he missed me. But I don’t know. Daina, I’m damaged goods. I have a daughter. I separated from my husband three seconds ago. What could I possibly offer a man like Lucas?”
“Samantha, you have plenty to offer Lucas. Don’t let the way Marc treated you make you think differently. He hasn’t come out and said it, but I think Lucas has it bad for you. You may have officially separated from Marc now, but you both haven’t really been together in a long time. Have the guts to take a chance on something that could make you happy. Think about it.”
