“Evan is definitely all about you. I tease the shit out of him, but I love it. It’s a relief to know you have someone like that. You deserve it. You always did, regardless of whether you thought so.”
“I’m all about him, too. Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll scare him off.”
“Oh, please. You should hear him talk about you at work. I should check on Paige. I should get that for Paige. Paige and I did this . . . went here . . . He goes on all day. He once lapsed and called you ‘Daisy,’ and we busted his balls for days.”
I nudged his arm. “Don’t tease him like that.”
Jack grabbed my hand. “He never cared. He just smiled and laughed with us. That’s the kind of guy he is. Think you could name your first kid after me? Doesn’t have to be the first name, since too many Jacks may make it confusing. Just so you guys don’t forget me or anything.” Jack gave me a sad smile. I stood up and kissed his cheek. He’d gotten so thin that his dimples were gone, and my lips just touched bone.
“We will never, ever forget you. If I know you, you’ll find a way to be around. So I’ll never have to say good-bye.” I shrugged and smiled, and tasted the tears that I’d tried to stop from falling. Jack clutched the back of my head and kissed my forehead.
“Never say die, right? Okay, bad choice of words.” He chuckled and looked away; his eyes watered now, too. “I will always take care of you, cuz.Always.” Sobs ran through me as I buried my head in Jack’s chest. Jack, for once, stayed quiet. As I pulled away, my forehead was damp. Jack was finally crying, too, which made me sob even harder.
“Hey, listen, you’ve been here all afternoon. Why don’t you go home and come back tomorrow after work? Evan said he’s stopping by after he closes the office.” He looked over at the clock.
“I’ll go say good-bye to Ellie and the baby.” I took a deep breath, now not even bothering to hide my crying. I had a gnawing feeling in my gut as I shrugged on my jacket. It was the same feeling I’d had since I first heard the word ‘leukemia,’ so I shook it off.
“See you later, pain in the ass. I love you.” I gave Jack a big smile that he returned, his blue eyes still twinkling.
“See you later, ditzy blonde. I love you, too.” I fell into Jack’s chest again and he wrapped his arms around me. We held on to each other tight. It reminded me of the hugs we gave each other at graduations, on his wedding day, and when his son was baptized ——special days that meant a lot to us. Everything we did, we did together. Jack was in my heart and soul as much as I was in his. Even death couldn’t change that.
I left his room, kissed Ellie and the baby, and traipsed out to my car parked up the block. How many cousins, or brothers and sisters even, were as close as Jack and I were? For the first time in months, I felt lucky and blessed.
I went home, and fell back on my couch. I didn’t realize I’d drifted off until the buzzing of my phone next to me woke me up. Ellie’s name flashed on my screen, and I froze in place. She called over and over again but I couldn’t move. The buzzing stopped, then started again. This time Evan’s name came up.
No one had to tell me what I already knew.
Jack was dead.
Twenty-Four
Evan
Ellie’s eyes were hollow.The second she opened the door, I knew.
“I’m so sorry—” I put my arms around her as she cried softly into my chest.
“It was . . . peaceful.” She shrugged. “We lay in bed watching some stupid show I can’t remember and he just . . .”
Tess arrived right after I did and came behind me in the doorway. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” She put her hand on my shoulder as she draped her arm around Ellie. “John and Marie are on their way here, but they called me since I lived closer. Where’s Paige?”
Ellie held up her cell phone still clutched in her hand.
“She isn’t answering. She was just here a few hours ago and said she was going straight home. I keep calling . . .” Ellie’s voice cracked as her jaw trembled.
“She may be sleeping. She’s tired lately. Let me try.” I dug my phone out of my back pocket and dialed Paige’s number. Three times my call went straight to voicemail.
The moment I’d dreaded for months was now upon me. I’d have to tell Paige that the cousin she loved like a brother was gone.
“Go, sweetheart.” Tess cupped my cheek. “Jack would want you to take care of her, and I think you need each other right now. I’ll stay here with Ellie. Tell her I’ll come over later.” Tess shook her head and let out a long sigh as she turned away. “My poor baby. She’s been so sick lately. I worry how she’s going to take this.” She looked back at me and raised her eyebrows. “Be careful driving like this.” Tess gave me a kiss on the cheek as she kept a comforting arm around Ellie. It’d been a long time since I’d been mothered by anyone but Marie. In spite of everything, I grinned at how nice it was as I made my way out.
As I drove to Paige’s apartment, I went from having a small knot in my stomach to being a nervous wreck. How the hell was I going to tell her? I was terrified this would make her sicker, too.
Paige’s car was parked in front of her apartment and her lights were on. Why hadn’t she picked up the phone?
I turned the key in her front door, and uttered a macabre chuckle that I’d never gotten to tell Jack she’d given me a key. The door opened and I crept in.
I found Paige sitting on her couch in the living room. She didn’t look up as I approached, even though I was sure she’d heard the key in the lock. Photo albums lay across her lap as she studied each page.
