I parked in the lot by the lab, hoping like hell Sara would be practicing for lab exams tonight. My heart leaped into my throat when my phone finally buzzed in my pocket.
Victoria: Can you help me pick out a birthday present for Mommy? Dad said he would help but you know her better.
Pain seized my chest as if I’d been stabbed. Losing Sara would mean losing her, too. My fingers froze over the keys, unsure how to respond.
Me: Sure. That’s an awesome idea. Let me think and I’ll get back to you, okay, pretty girl?
Victoria: OK. You’re the best Drew.
I strode into the lab on shaky legs, quickly settling at the front desk. Pretending to be engrossed in my laptop screen, my eyes darted back and forth to the door. She usually came to the lab around eight and practiced for an hour before a practical exam. The air stilled in my lungs when I found Lisa but expelled out when I realized she was alone.
“Hey, Drew.” Lisa regarded me with sympathetic eyes as she signed in. “It’s none of my business,” she whispered as she leaned in. “But I hate this for you guys.”
I nodded and folded my arms. That made two of us.
“How is she?” I asked, unsure if I wanted to know the answer.
“Miserable. Doesn’t say much. Sniffles in her sleep but denies it.” Her lips curved in a sad smile. “She’s as quiet as she was when I first met her.”
It should have made me feel better hearing she was so distraught, but it didn’t. Her own happiness was a non-factor to her. She cut me off because she thought it was best for me without any regard for breaking her own heart. I missed her to the point of physical pain, but I was selfish enough to fight for her. She didn’t have a selfish cell in her body. She only fought for herself when it meant fighting for her daughter. I hated that she was back to the closed off woman I’d first met all those months ago. She needed me; we needed each other. Why was this even happening? I pulled at the roots of my hair in frustration, wanting to tear them from my scalp.
“She’s not coming, is she?”
Lisa shook her head, frowning at the sad sack I was. “I’m sorry.”
“Sara’s at McQuaid’s.” Emma signed in behind Lisa. “She said Aaron would let her have the kitchen to herself to practice tonight.”
“Aaron?” My blood boiled as I straightened in my chair. Seeing me was too much for her so she went to that slime ball for help? I crushed the pencil I was tapping on the desk so tightly in my hands, it broke in half. “Instead of coming here, she’s with that douchebag—after hours—by herself.”
Emma grimaced before she headed for an empty station.
“You know nothing is going on, right? She loves you, Drew.”
I leaned back in the chair, itching to close the lab and speed to McQuaid’s to pull her out of there. But, I couldn’t, could I? I wasn’t her jealous boyfriend. Not anymore.
“You know that she can handle herself—”
“I’m fine, Lisa. No need to explain.” I nodded to the back. “Go practice.”
She opened her mouth to say something but closed it before making her way to a station.
Sara and I had a soul-searing, once-in-a-lifetime kind of love . . . but only one of us thought it was worth fighting for.
Sara
EVERYTHING I DID,every move I made, seemed to be in slow motion. I was trapped in my own tortured version ofThe Matrix. Drew still texted and called all the time, but although it killed me, I wouldn’t answer. Why make the inevitable even worse?
After a long two hours of practice at the restaurant, staying later than I intended to on purpose, my broken heart and I headed back to the dorms. Loretta stayed behind, pretending to only be around if I needed help, but putting a much-needed barrier between Aaron and me. If he hit on me tonight, I was afraid I’d punch his lights out in frustration. I didn’t want anyone but Drew, and I had the sinking feeling I never would. After being alone for so many years and never giving the solitude a second thought, now it felt like a death sentence.
I promised Lisa I’d call her the moment I left the restaurant at ten o’clock or else she’d call to check. She didn’t trust Aaron alone with me, but as luck would have it, I’d only seen him when I arrived and when I left. Maybe he’d gotten the message or was deterred by Loretta’s presence. Either way, I was happy the awkwardness of my internship would soon be coming to a close.
My phone rang at exactly 10:01; Lisa was nothing if not punctual. She’d been pressing me to open up about Drew, but I couldn’t do it. I’d only be able to pull off stoic if I didn’t mention his name, no matter how many times his face ran through my tortured brain.
“Hello . . .” I sang after I reached into my bag and grabbed my phone, answering without looking at the screen. “Sorry, I’m fifty seconds late, I’m on my way home n—”
“Did he touch you?” Drew growled in my ear, an unusual menace in his tone.
Shit.My eyes squeezed shut at the sound of his voice. He’d been calling and texting nonstop for days and I’d managed to avoid him, until now. He sounded furious, and as devastated as I was, the love I had for him hadn’t changed and probably wouldn’t in my lifetime, but I couldn’t give in. I loved him enough to do what was best, even if he didn’t see it that way.
