She folded her arms on the table, making her sweater droop even more on one side. I pretended to adjust my napkin and not my cock.
“I always liked tweaking regular recipes. My daughter used to love to be my guinea pig. Granted, most of the time it was a product of me stretching out the food I had until I could afford to go shopping again, but changing or adding just one thing,” she whispered as she held up her index finger, “could change everything. Burgers, mac and cheese, I had my own spin on it all. My restaurant would be traditional but just different enough. And I love these wood walls and floors.” She clicked her tongue before lifting her head. “What about you? What do you dream about?”
You. Out of that sweater and on my lap.
“I don’t have a definite plan yet. The guys and I may shop the app we’re developing around after graduation. I know there are millions out there, but you never know what will catch on.”
Sara strummed her fingers on the table after the waiter took our order.
“Merry Christmas.” She placed the gift bag she tried to hide since I picked her up on the table.
“For me? Caldwell, I’m touched.” I sifted through the white tissue paper and found a laptop bag. The one I used for school had seen better days and I needed a new one to look presentable on an interview. My fingers drifted over an embossed AK. She must’ve ordered this weeks ago and knowing how she scrimped and saved every penny she made for after graduation, the gesture made my chest pinch.
“Sara, this is great. You didn’t have to go through . . .”
“Look inside,” she whispered with a shy smile.
I obliged and found vintage Batman comics printed on the inside fabric. My mouth fell open at the most thoughtful gift anyone had ever given me.
“Just because you have to look professional doesn’t mean you have to be boring.” She offered an unusual nervous laugh. “The size is supposed to fit a Mac, but in case it doesn’t—”
“Sara, this is perfect.” I picked up her hand and kissed the back of her wrist, my lips lingering for a moment longer than they should’ve. “The best gift I’ve ever gotten.” My gaze stumbled to hers, overcome with gratitude for two gifts this Christmas, but only one I could actually call mine.
“You,” her voice cracked before she bit her bottom lip. “You are the best friend I’ve had in, maybe ever. I still don’t know why you waste your time,” she choked out a laugh. “But I’m so thankful you do.”
“I’m not wasting my time. It’s not a waste if I don’t want to be anywhere else.” I reached into my jacket pocket for the two envelopes I’d brought. “Merry Christmas to you, too.”
A wide grin spread across her cheeks before ripping them open. Her hand draped over her mouth as she shook her head in almost disbelief.
“A gift certificate to Serendipity and Collective Comics,” she whispered as she studied the slips in her hand.
“You said you never got to have fun with Victoria. Now you can. When you’re in the city this Christmas you both can have all the frozen hot chocolate you want. And Victoria can have all the Wonder Woman comics she wants. Win-win.” I winked, hoping I’d get a smile but she threw the certificates on the table.
Sara’s head fell into her hands as she pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Why are you so fucking wonderful?” She wailed as her head shook. “How am I supposed to not—”
“To not, what?” I pressed, peeling her hands away from her face.
“To not fall in love with you?” Her words punched me in the stomach. I asked myself that question about her at least once a day. It’s what I’d wanted to hear, but the pain in her eyes made it hurt.
“I imagine it’s tough.” A giggle bubbled out through her tears.
Sara rose from her seat and bolted to my side of the table, flinging her arms around my neck and kissing my cheek. “Thank you.”
I had no clue how not to fall in love with her, either.
I stood and pulled her close, smiling at her gasp when I tucked a lock of chestnut hair behind her ear. My eyes held hers as we stood in the middle of the restaurant, neither of us wanting to break contact.
“What do we do now?” she asked, her voice still scratchy and small.
“We eat, we stay friends, and we wait until you’re ready for anything else.” I swiped at her tears with my thumbs. “And I’ll be right here.” My lips found her forehead. “Notwasting my time.”
Sara
I CLIMBED THEslushy outside steps to Josh and Brianna’s apartment, trying to balance my suitcase and bags of gifts and groceries. Managing to press the outside buzzer with my knuckle, I waited for one of them to answer the door. My eyes clenched shut as I prayed for the first time since . . . well, since the last time I was here. Regaling all those awful stories to Drew about how I’d acted when they first came into our lives made the shame already twisting my gut coil tighter. I asked for patience and acceptance, especially when I’d learn all I’d missed and they’d enjoyed with Victoria. I hoped for a way for us to be friends, or at leastfriendly.
The lock clicked, and I straightened the best I could with what felt like fifty pounds of packages. All my irritation dissipated when my eyes met my daughter’s forest green ones. They lit up before she tackled me.
