He wouldn’t look me in the eye, which to me meant he didn’t promise anything. Still—for him—I’d pretend. Thinking of the alternative was too terrifying.
“So, it looks like it’s just us for this feast.” His lips quirked in a smile. “I’d hate to throw everything out . . .” He cocked his head, and I gave in. He was so damn beautiful. Those green eyes cut me in half every single time.
“Give me that cupcake.” I grabbed it off the plate, throwing him a scowl as I peeled the plastic wrapping off. Before I took that first glorious bite, I felt a pair of eyes burning into me.
“Are you going to watch me eat?” I crinkled my nose. “That’s weird.”
Josh burst out laughing and rose from his seat. He pressed a long kiss to my forehead, and I shut my eyes before leaning in.
“You’re adorable and as constant as gravity.” I gasped when his hand glided to the nape of my neck. Was he going to kiss me? I wanted him to so damn badly my insides quivered. Sometimes when we touched, the air between us would thicken and I’d forget how to speak. Then, I’d spend the rest of the day trying to convince myself that it was only my imagination. But it always seemed real—this moment and so many others. I was about to cup his cheek when he removed his hand and backed away. My heart thundered in my ears as I rationalized another almost kiss into a hallucination. Our eyes locked for a long minute before his smile faded.
“The guy you look at like you’re looking at that cupcake will be a lucky bastard.”
I fell back in to my chair, breathless and wanting to scream,I’ve looked at you like that my whole life, idiot.When I could almost sense him wanting me back, I was tempted to tell him how I felt, but I could never find the guts to voice my feelings. I loved him from the deepest part of my soul, but in silence.
Brianna
“C’MON, CUPCAKE,” JOSHencouraged from behind me. “You can do it!”
“Shut up, Josh!” I spat out as I gazed over my shoulder. His hearty laugh boomed from the back of the bike—my new beach cruiser bike, part three of my birthday gift. My exasperated breath escaped in a white puff of smoke. Of all the activities I wanted to do at eight o’clock on a Saturday morning, pedaling around a bike track while freezing my fleece-covered ass off didn’t even rank in the top ten thousand.
“Hey now, no need to be nasty. You’re doing awesome.” Josh’s hand slid into the crook of my neck and gave the tense muscle a squeeze. I was almost pissed off enough that I didn’t register the jolt from his possibly too intimate touch.Almost.
I dropped my foot to the ground and stopped pedaling.
“Awesome? I’m an almost thirty-year-old woman learning how to ride a bike in public. There’s only so much gawking I could take. My learning how to ride a bike window closed. It’s too late.”
Josh strode to the front of the bike and put his hands on the handlebars. “Never too late, Cupcake. It’s never too late for anything.” His eyes bore into mine, and for a moment, I forgot I was so annoyed at him for dragging me here. I wished we could do a lot of things over, butthatwindow was closed, too. All the time we were spending together and the old feelings it brought back confused me at times, but it didn’t change anything. I couldn’tletit change anything.
“How about a break?” I pleaded and pointed to the still empty bleachers. At nine o’clock the joggers and power walkers would flood the track. A break now meant extra eyes and more humiliation later, but the five laps we already took had my quads on fire. I never thought I’d see the day I’d yearn for the elliptical machine at the gym.
“Fine,” Josh sighed and held the bike steady as I climbed off. We wheeled it over to the bleachers and set the kickstand down before we sat.
“This was sweet.” I patted Josh’s denim-covered leg. “Really. It’s nice remembering things we did when we were kids, but what do you say we go to the Freedom Diner for omelets on Saturdays instead of coming here? We did that when we were fifteen, too. Less dangerous.” I squinted, expecting Josh to laugh. His face fell as his eyes darted back to the track.
“I . . . dropped a lot of balls before I left. Let down a lot of people.” He turned to me with a sad smile. “Especially you. I hate that.” He glanced toward the overcast sky before shaking his head.
“Stop.” I nudged his arm. “Me not knowing how to ride a bike is the product of an overprotective father and my klutzy nature. You didn’t let me down.”
“I never should have let things get so far. Never should have lost myself, lost you. I guess you can’t really go back, right? No do-overs in life?” Josh shrugged and rested his elbows on his knees. The Josh I lost all those years ago was a boy—a scared, angry boy. My heart broke as I gazed at the man before me seeking redemption for who he was as a kid.
“Maybe not a do-over, but it’s never too late to make things right. And it’s definitely not too late to come back to the people who love you.” I elbowed his side. “Now, stop whining.”
He laughed and draped his arm around my shoulders before pressing a kiss to my temple. “I love you, Cupcake. Always did.”
I leaned into his shoulder as my eyes clenched shut. I loved him since I was five years old, but for most of those years, it wasn’t merely a friendly type of love. I fought hard to blame my sudden feelings on adolescent hormones and the romanticized delusions of a teenage girl, but sitting on those bleachers and leaning into his embrace, it was as if I was the one who was sent away all those years ago and finally came home. I shook off my feelings for the moment and straightened. It was dumb to lust after Josh then, and it was just plain wrong now.
“You loved my ham and cheese sandwiches.”
Josh’s chest rumbled with a laugh. Neither of us acknowledged my dodge, and I breathed out a temporary sigh of relief. I loved Scott, too, and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him for the sake of an unrequited memory.
“Omelets sound good. Hopefully Spiro doesn’t try to call the cops like the last time I ate there. Did they ever get a fifth table?”
I burst out laughing and shook my head. “Maybe next week I can try riding without you holding the back of the bike?”
Josh gaped at me and leaned back. “You want to try it by yourself?”
“Yes,” I grumbled. “You bought the bike and all. I may as well try.”
