He rested his finger on my lips. A smile curved his mouth as he shook his head. “Let me put that fear to rest right now. You love her, it’s obvious. Once you love someone, Brianna Marie, you don’t know how to stop. Trust me, I know.” He quirked an eyebrow.
I nodded and buried my face into his neck. “You’re really mad at me, aren’t you?”
Josh cradled my face and kissed my forehead. “Ohhhh, yeah.” He nodded as he lifted me up off the floor. “We’ll talk about it at home. Because you’re grabbing your bathing suits and high heels and coming with me—where you belong.”
A laugh broke out through my slowing tears as I burrowed my head into his chest.
“Worst. Liar. Ever,” he whispered into my hair.
I still had no clue what do with the hollow feeling in my stomach, or when I’d stop feeling this unexpected, bone-crushing sorrow. I decided to go along with what I did know.
I wanted to go home.
Brianna
I TOOK Aquick glance around my kitchen. Everything looked exactly the same as when I’d made my hasty departure to Amanda’s yesterday. But somehow, it all seemed . . . different. Since I’d left the doctor’s office, I didn’t feel like I was in my own skin. I would never have a child of my own. Up until yesterday, having children wasn’t even something I remotely considered at this point in my life. I found out I couldn’t have any solely because I switched birth control. The irony of it all made me almost laugh.
Even if we investigated other options, I couldn’t make a baby with Josh. I’d always imagined what our kids would look like, and Victoria came pretty close with Josh’s eyes and his cheeky grin. In my dreams, our child would look mostly like him, but there would besomethingof me in there. Now, there would be nothing. Even modern reproductive science couldn’t help me. In general, there wasn’t a word uglier than “untreatable.” It was that heinous word echoing in my troubled mind that made me run away from my own apartment.
That word also had me wiping my kitchen countertop at three o’clock in the morning, unable to sleep. The day’s events replayed in my dreams as a future I’d never have. Josh and I giggling as his hand rubbed my swollen belly. Apparently, my subconscious was a sadistic bitch who wanted to torture me. I was still smiling as my eyes popped open. My own hand drifted over my flat stomach, and I remembered everything in a horrid rush. I shot up and out of bed, my troubled mind refusing to stay docile, so here I was—cleaning in the middle of the night. I smoothed the streaks on the marble over and over again, unsure of what to do next.
Josh startled me with his silent approach. I jumped when he smoothed my hair off my shoulder and planted an open-mouthed kiss to the nape of my neck. My eyes pinched shut as I leaned back into him. I couldn’t turn around. I kept wiping, although at a slower pace as his lips made a wet trail to my earlobe, taking a nip before sucking it into his mouth. I dropped the paper towel and lolled my head to the side.
His hands drifted down my shoulders and pulled my T-shirt down to my elbows. He covered my neck in biting kisses, pulling at the delicate skin before running the tip of his tongue over it. His lips were warm and soft, yet relentless. Before I knew it, they were everywhere—my jaw, my chin, grazing the corner of my mouth. My heart thundered in my ears as my breathing quickened. He cupped my breast over my shirt and traced my nipple through the thin cotton.
“Josh,” I whimpered as his hand dropped between my legs. My core was soaked and swollen even though he was touching me through my clothes. I wanted him inside me—pounding into me, filling me, and making me forget. I needed to get lost in the man I loved without thinking of what I couldn’t give him.
“Shh,” Josh whispered before his teeth sank into the sensitive flesh behind my ear. Bite, lick, kiss. It was an intoxicating pattern that left me panting and drenched.
He spun me around and crashed his lips into mine. I was already aching for his mouth and kissed him back so hard our teeth scraped. His arms wrapped around me as he walked me backward out of the kitchen and into the bedroom, never breaking the kiss. I’d thought for a moment he offered this as a diversion, but the hungry gleam in his eyes said differently. He needed this as much as I did.
Josh backed me into the bed until I fell back on the mattress. His hands went to work, pulling my pajama pants and panties off in one move. He reached behind his back and pulled off his shirt. I gasped at the familiar sight of him. Josh was all muscle and ink—and mine.
He grasped my wrist and pulled me to sit up. His emerald eyes bore into mine as he felt for the hem of my T-shirt and lifted it over my head. I swallowed a lump in my throat as my heart and mind raced. We were always chatty lovers, a side effect from knowing each other so well, I supposed. No sounds came from either of us, and the silence was so heavy I swore I could hear Josh’s rapid heartbeat along with mine.
Our lovemaking had a current of desperation to it.I’m sorry. Don’t leave me again.Everything was still too raw to say out loud. Our bodies did the talking for us.
Josh settled between my legs, his mouth finding mine again as he rubbed his hard cock against me. I whimpered as his hand slid between us, swirling over my soaked and swollen bundle of nerves. He slid two fingers inside, curving them as he inched in and out. My hips swayed, following his fingers and demanding more. My hands drifted down his torso and pulled down his boxers. Josh kicked them off without looking and entered me quick and hard.
His eyes seared into mine as he started to move. One arm was snaked under my waist while his other hand cradled the back of my head. It was sweet and hot, gentle and rough. It was everything I wanted and exactly what I needed. A bead of sweat dripped from Josh’s brow down my cheek. I needed more—harder, faster. My nails dug into his backside, hoping to make my point. A primal growl erupted from his throat as he granted my wish.
Josh flipped us over, my legs straddling his hips while he was still inside me.
“Take me.” His voice was hoarse as he sat up and cupped my neck. “All of me, Bri.”
Tears stung my eyes as I kissed him again. I rocked against him slowly, feeling every delicious inch of him slide in and out. The intensity was palpable and overwhelming. Tremors started in my spine and spread to the lower half of my body as it clenched around him. Josh stiffened, dropping his head to my chest and shaking in my arms.
He rolled us over so we were face-to-face again and tangled his fingers into my hair. I cradled his cheek as he drew me closer.
“I love you,” he murmured against my lips. “Please don’t run like that again. We talk it out, whatever it is. No matter how bad.” He cuddled me into his chest and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
I nodded before turning to sit up. He pulled me back, tightening his embrace.
“Um, Josh.” I attempted to squirm out of his hold. “I have to use the bathroom.” I raised my brows as I pushed on his chest.
He settled into his pillow and shrugged. “I’m not ready to let go yet. Sorry, you’ll have to wait.”
I giggled and kissed his chin. The corners of his mouth twitched until a sadness washed over his face.
