She let out a hysterical laugh. “Find you? Are you kidding me? You made it loud and clear you were ‘just passing through,’ remember? No last names, no numbers.”
“You’re full of shit.” I spit out through gritted teeth. “You read my last name off my dog tags and knew my base was in South Carolina.”
“Sure . . .” She dragged out the word. “When I went to the free clinic and found out I was knocked up, I was supposed to get on a plane and travel to some army base in south bumble fuck to find JoshFalcoand tell him he was the father of my unborn child. Right. Sorry.” She shook her head, still not letting the door widen an inch. “What do you want from me, Josh?”
“I want to know her. I’ll be honest, I’m still in shock and don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, but now that I know about her, I can’t ignore it. Please, Sara. Let me see her.” I softened my tone, hoping that would get me through.
She pushed the door open but stepped in front of me before I could go inside.
“I’ll say this once,” Sara whispered. “I’ll let you see her, but the second you flake and disappoint her, that’s it. Understand?”
“Yes. Thank you, Sara.” She didn’t reply as I followed her into her living room.
The white walls of her apartment were full of pictures. Victoria as a pudgy little baby all the way to what must have been her most recent school picture. My heart sank at all I’d missed. A photo of her in heavy makeup and a leotard rested on a side table. I picked it up and stared at it for a long moment. She was so beautiful, all the air drained out of my lungs. My daughter. I had a daughter.
“Who is it, Mommy?” A little voice drifted from the hallway. Victoria looked between her mother and me with a furrowed brow. “You’re Mr. O’Connor’s friend. Why are you here?”
“Josh is an old friend of Mommy’s, too,” Sara answered for me.
I knelt in front of her. “And your name is Victoria, right? Nice to see you again!”
Now what the hell did I do? Shake my kid’s hand? She gave me a small smile, gazing at me like she somehow knew who I was.
I ambled toward the couch and sat on the end. I took a quick glance around the room. Victoria plopped onto the floor as she watched some children’s show. Dolls and stuffed animals were spread along the carpet.
“I’m guessing you like dolls, huh?” I was rewarded with a tiny giggle that made my chest squeeze.
“This one is my favorite.” She jumped up off the floor and handed me a doll with long black hair and a crown.
“Is this Wonder Woman?”
She grinned. “Yes. She’s the best.”
I held the doll in my hands, chuckling at the wild hair and tangled lasso around her middle.
“I know someone else who loves Wonder Woman.” Someone who I prayed wouldn’t run for the hills when she came back from San Francisco.
“In fact, I bought her a Wonder Woman bike helmet. Do you ride a bike?”
Her eyes lit up. My eyes.
“Yes, but I never found a Wonder Woman helmet before!”
“You leave that to me.” My lips curved into a smile. “I’ll have one next time I see you.”
“You’re coming back?” Her head cocked to the side. This poor kid was probably as confused as I was the past couple of days.
“Sure. Is that okay?” I looked between Sara and Victoria.
“If that’s what you want.” Sara’s tone was colorless as she shrugged.
My head craned to meet her gaze. “It’s what I want.” That was the first sure statement I’d made in the past twenty-four hours. I wanted to get to know everything about this little girl. I could never catch up on all I’d missed in her life, but I would make sure I was a fixture going forward. What that entailed, I had no clue, but staying away from her wasn’t an option.
“I’ll come back and we can watch—baby Robin?” I squinted at the screen.
“Teen Titans!” She laughed again.
“I can buy you guys pizza and we could talk some more.”
