“I’m actually surprised you didn’t play the work from home card today. Ice terrifies you.” Scott laughed as he reached into the bag and set our food on the table. “Plus, they never shovel the subway steps in your neighborhood. You aren’t usually this brave,” he teased before handing me a fork.
“I got a ride all the way in today, so it wasn’t so bad.”
“You actually got a cab in this weather? That’s impressive.” Scott’s eyes widened as he took a chomp out of his burrito.
“I didn’t call a cab. Josh drove me to work.”
Scott stopped chewing as his brow pinched. He didn’t like how much time I spent with Josh, although he never came out and told me. It wasn’t hard to pick up on his sour change in mood whenever Josh’s name came up.
“At eight o’clock in the morning, Josh justhappenedto be in front of your building.” He gulped his food as he shook his head.
“He was seeing a client in the city and thought I’d want a ride. Don’t make it into a bigger deal than it is.”
Scott threw his napkin on the table and folded his arms as he sat back. “A client in Manhattan wanted to talk about getting a custom motorcycle during a snowstorm?” His eyes rolled before they came back to mine.
“What are you saying?” I glared at Scott before chucking my fork on the table.
His chest heaved as he leaned closer. “Since he’s been back, he’severywhere. Texting you all the time, stopping by, and you eat it up. Same way you did with all those letters he sent you. Your fucking eyes lit up for a piece of paper more than they ever did for me.” His words trailed off as his gaze slid to the floor.
This wasn’t like Scott. He was mellow and easygoing to the point of grating on my nerves. His behavior now was a one-eighty from the aloof, workaholic boyfriend who treated me like an afterthought. That should have bothered me more than it did, and Scott had a great point. The Josh in the letters was out of sight, but never out of my mind. Now that he was back, he complicated everything that much more with his presence.
Regardless of how he’d been acting or how I’d been reacting to it, to see Scott this unglued and upset made my insides twist with guilt. There was more between Josh and me—all along—and I wasn’t the only one who noticed. Whatever dangerous game I was playing with my heart, Scott didn’t deserve this.
“That’s not true, Scott. He’s my best friend, that’s it. You know that.”
Scott took in a deep breath and turned to me. His glossy eyes made me stumble even more. “I bet you don’t realize that when he’s around, you don’t notice anything or anyone else. He has a history with you that I . . . can’t seem to compete with. So, tell me, did I lose you, or were you never really mine to begin with?”
My eyes clouded as I bit my lip. It was easy to reason that my closeness with Josh was due to Scott’s absence. If I kept at it long enough, I could almost believe it wasn’t my fault. Distance, neglect, who could blame me for my conflicting feelings? But peering at Scott’s glassy eyes and feeling the desperation that radiated off him, regardless of how many dates he broke or how distracted he was as of late, my actions sickened me, and nothing physical had even happened yet. What I was doing—to both of them—was wrong.
“Scott, I—”
He scooted his chair closer to me and cradled my face before brushing my lips with his. “I love you. I really do. I know I’ve been a jerk the past few months getting this company started, but things will be different. I promise.” He threaded his fingers through my hair. “Don’t throw us away, Bri.” He rested his forehead against mine. “Let me make up for my mistakes.”
He exhaled a long sigh and pulled me into his arms. They tightened around me as he buried his face into my neck.I love you, toowas the right thing to say, but the words jumbled in my mouth, not feeling right.
“Scott, but—” I stammered again before he pressed his finger to my lips.
“How about I pick you up after work and we go home together? I’ll protect you from the ice.” A laugh escaped me despite the shit I felt like.
“And tonight, it’s just you and me.” His hands framed my face. “No clients, no . . .” He trailed off, as if I didn’t know he was about to say, “No Josh.”
This was what I wanted, right? Scott finally paying attention to me—to us—but all it did was upset me. Maybe it was too little too late. Maybe I didn’t know how I felt about this sudden turnaround, or if it would even last.
Deep down, I knew my confusion had nothing to do with where Scott was or where he wasn’t.
It waswhohe wasn’t.
Brianna
“BABE, ARE YOUthere?’ The irritation in Scott’s voice pulled me out of my trance.
“I’m listening,” I lied. Truth was I hadn’t heard a word Scott said beyond ‘hello.’ He was at an accounting conference in Chicago, and ever since my ride from Josh in the snow, he’d been extra attentive. Physically present, not so much, but my phone blew up all day long with texts and phone calls. I guessed he was trying, but should it have been this hard to try?
That wasn’t why my mind was a thousand miles away. Other than Josh’s daily good morning text yesterday, I hadn’t heard a peep from him. Maybe he was busy at the shop, but I couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong. As Scott went on, I sent a couple of texts to Josh with no response. They were all marked delivered, but not read. I wanted Scott to wrap it up so I could call him and make sure he was all right, but actually saying that would have caused world war three across the time zones.
“You sound tired; go get some sleep. I’ll stop by on Saturday when I get home.”
“Um, sure, that sounds great,” I replied a little too quickly and cheerfully.
