“Hey, little lady! I haven’t seen you here in a long time!”
“Hi, Ruby! Didn’t realize that was you!” Ruby’d owned the bar longer than I’d been alive. Her flaming red hair was down to her waist now, and she went from sweet old lady to cursing sailor in five point six seconds.
“What can I get you?” She leaned over to rest a napkin in front of me.
“Mojito, please.” I needed something to knock me out, and all of Ruby’s cocktails were eighty proof. I already planned for Gina to drive me home and for Kate to bring me to get my car from the lot in the morning. I was just so fucking sick of it all. Sick of acting happy so my family didn’t give me the ‘oh, the poor widow’ stare. Sick of keeping Nick at arm’s length because it seemed like I was being unfaithful to a dead husband. And most of all, sick of the solitude. The world kept on turning, and I was left behind. All because I couldn’t find it within my pathetic self to get off my ass and move on.
Ruby dropped the minty drink in front of me. The cold liquor warmed my chest and relaxed my warring insides. I picked up my phone and scrolled through Nick’s texts—all the times he called me beautiful and the funny things he said during the long hours we spent going back and forth at night. Is this what people did now? Wax sentimental over discontinued text messages? I missed the heart flutter every time his name flashed on my screen. After typing “I miss you” and deleting it three different times, I motioned to Ruby for a refill. Hopefully, Gina got to the bar while I was still semi-coherent.
The sweet little school teacher was about to get plastered over a guy. I laughed at my own stupidity as I raised my glass to toast myself. To second chances and opportunities, and to the morons like me who squandered them both.
“WHOA, WHAT ISthis? Lieutenant is slumming it with us tonight.” Tommy gaped at me as I took a seat next to him at the bar.
“Rough week at Scouts?” Will’s mouth turned up in a smirk as he snickered at me.
I laughed as I motioned to Ruby at the end of the bar for a beer. “I got desperate; what can I say?” I covered the sad sincerity of that statement with a smile. I decided to give Ellie the space she seemed to want, but seeing her earlier today rattled the hell out of me. I never expected to miss her this much. We weren’t together. We kissed a few times. I made her come once. So, what? She melted into my arms and gave in to the passion between us for a split second. Then, her hooded eyes glazed over with panic . . . and we were right back to where we started. How could I compete with a ghost? I had no fucking clue.
“When did Friday nights get so dead?” Tommy sighed and shook his head as his eyes scoped the bar.
“What can I get you, hon?” Ruby purred as she laid a napkin in front of me.
“Just a beer, Ruby. Whatever you’ve got on tap is fine.”
Ruby winked her blue shadowed eye and set a mug in front of me. I wasted no time in taking a big gulp. I craned my head around the bar until I saw a very familiar face.
“The tiny, curvy one is hot. Isn’t that the one you brought over to the firehouse with her kid? She looks like she’s feeling no pain. Should be an easy score, Lieutenant.” Will winked at me before he took a sip of his Guinness.
I set my beer down a little harder than I meant to as I glared at Will. “Watch your mouth.”
His face fell as he held up his hands in apology. “Sorry, man. I was just kidding.”
I stopped paying attention and focused on Ellie, laughing without a care in the world with a friend I didn’t recognize. She was unsteady and almost took a header off the barstool. Maybe seeing each other today bothered her as much as it did me? God knew I needed a drink. I rose from my seat and stalked over to make sure she was all right and she wasn’t driving home. So much for keeping a safe distance. I couldn’t stay away from her as much as she couldn’t stop pushing me away. We were in a rotten cycle I had no clue how to break.
As I made my approach, a man came up behind her and whispered in her ear. Even in her wobbly state she shook her head and moved away, but he wouldn’t take the hint. Once he wrapped his slimy hand around her forearm and tried to pull her off the stool, I picked up my pace. I had no claim to this woman, but that didn’t make her seem any less mine or hinder the urge to crack the asshole’s skull open for trying to take advantage of her. If he didn’t back away, that was exactly what I intended to do.
“Hey, Ellie.” Ellie’s head jerked in my direction as I glared at the douchebag still trying to yank her off the seat. I slipped in between them, and I wrapped my arm around her. He looked me up and down, sizing me up was my guess—and as I had a good twenty pounds of muscle on him, he shrugged and slithered away.
“Nick! I didn’t know you were here!” Ellie’s voice squeaked as her speech slurred. “Gina, this is Nick. Isn’t he gorgeous?”Holy shit, how much did she have to drink?Ellie draped her arm around my neck and gave me a wet peck on the lips. “Thank you for rescuing me. I guess that’s what good firemen do, right? Oh wait, I’m sorry. Firelieutenants. How hot is that, Gina?” Ellie giggled in her friend’s direction as she clamped her arms around my waist.
Gina cringed as she raised her auburn eyebrows at me. “Hi, Nick. Nice to put a face with the name.”
I nodded with a slow grin, unable to hold in the satisfaction that maybe I was inside this woman’s brain as much as she was in mine, even if she couldn’t admit it when she was sober. “Nice to meet you.”
“I’ve been here about an hour. She was pre-gaming by herself for a while; not sure how much liquor is in her system to make her this . . . open. C’mon, Ellie.” Gina hooked her arm in Ellie’s to steady her on the barstool. “Let me take you home.”
“I’ll do it.” I grasped Ellie’s wrist and pulled her toward me.
“It’s fine; I’ve got her.” Gina pursed her lips as she guided Ellie to stand.
“I think I’m better suited for carrying her home, and in about five minutes that’s what one of us will have to do.” I arched an eyebrow, and she nodded with a sad chuckle.
“All right. She’s going to die of embarrassment tomorrow at you seeing her like this.”
“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here!” Ellie shouted, pouting her bottom lip at the both of us.
“Sorry, sweetie.” Gina kissed her temple and picked up her purse off the bar. “I’ll call you in the morning. Sleep it off good, okay?” Gina smoothed Ellie’s short hair away from her eyes and turned back to me. “Be careful with her.”
I shut my eyes and nodded. “I’ll get her home safely. No worries.”
