Nick: I will. Goodnight, Ella-Jane.
Me: You’re the only one I let call me that.
Nick: So, I am special. I knew it. Sleep well, sweetheart.
Sweetheart, Freckles, Ella-Jane. I smiled into my pillow and drifted off into a sound sleep—one that began for the first time without my last thought of Jack.
“MOMMY, CAN Isleep over at Dylan’s house?” Jack stopped in front of me as we strolled down the street. It was a balmy day for November, so I suggested we step away from the tablet and video games and go for a long walk. He beamed at me with his hands folded in prayer. Since camping, he’d been asking to sleep over at everyone’s house.
“One weekend away and you want to leave me, huh?” I ruffled his dirty blond hair and giggled. Jack tackled me and rested his head on my hip. Six years old and he was already so tall. My little guy would tower over me in a few years.
“That’s not true, Mommy. It’s just one night. You’ll be okay.” Even my son regarded me with pity in his piercing baby blues.
“We’ll see.” I took his hand and pulled him forward.
“Is that where Nick works?” Jack pointed to the firehouse across the street. Nick’s name was on my son’s lips even more lately, which concerned me on a ton of different levels. Jack’s attachment to Nick made me almost as uneasy as my own. Jack gave into his too much, and I did my damnedest to ignore it. Even though my thoughts of Nick increased almost daily, my son was a big reason why I was terrified to pursue them. I wasn’t even sure what to call Nick and me. For the past two months, I supposed we were flirty friends. We talked at night via text and traded pathetic glances of yearning when I saw him at Scouts or outside school. Our lips hadn’t had any interaction since Evan and Paige’s house, but the damage had been done. I knew those lips and felt them on mine every time our eyes locked. And although it was a terrible idea, I wanted to kiss him again.
“Um, I don’t know if that’s the firehouse he works in. Maybe . . . Jack, stop!”
My son sprinted across the street, and my heart leaped into my throat as I chased after him. Jack never ran away from me like that. I grabbed his arm and yanked him back.
“You know better than to run into the street like that!” My voice screeched as I tried to control my breathing. Watching Jack race into the street took a good five years off my life. “You could have been hit by a car! What would I have done if I lost you?” I shook his arm to make him look at me.
Jack’s chin quivered as his eyes filled with tears. “I . . . I saw Twenty-Three on the door outside. Nick said that was the number of the firehouse he worked at. I . . . I just wanted to see if he was here.” He collapsed on my hip in frightened sobs. The adrenaline coursing through my veins slowed as I crouched in front of my son.
“If you wanted to see if Nick was here, you should have asked me to go across the street. You ran without even looking and could have gotten hurt. Don’t go off like that again, okay?” I kissed Jack’s forehead, and he dropped his head to my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my neck.
“I’m sorry, Mommy,” Jack murmured as his tears slowed. My breathing evened out as I wrapped my arms around him and fought against my own tears. What upset me more? Jack running away from me, or that he was so desperate to see Nick that he thought nothing of taking off? I needed a nice long talk with my son about who Nick really was—or wasn’t—to him.
“Hey, guys. What are you doing here?” I turned at the sound of Nick’s deep but soft voice behind me. Most likely embarrassed, Jack gripped my neck tighter as his head burrowed into my shoulder.
Nick seemed to appear out of thin air almost on cue.
“We were out for a walk, and Jack saw what he thought was your firehouse and sprinted across the street—without looking and without me.”
A sad smile slanted Nick’s lips. “Hey, buddy. You can’t run away from your mom, especially into the street. We talked about that, remember? Look both ways, hold a grown up’s hand, right?”
Jack nodded without turning around, and I raised my eyebrows at Nick. “He’s embarrassed.” I mouthed as I pointed to Jack.
Nick grimaced. “But I’m glad you guys came by. It’s my day off, so I just stopped in for a minute, but I could give you guys a quick tour.”
“Really, we could go inside?” Jack lifted his soaked face as his red eyes lit up.
“Sure, if your mom says it’s okay.” Nick raised his eyebrows at me. I shrugged and nodded since saying no would make Jack feel worse.
“C’mon, guys.” Nick reached back for Jack’s hand. As they strolled in front of me, my heart constricted. Nick was always so sweet to Jack, but I figured he had to be nice to all the boys. As I looked closer at their interactions of late, I noticed the attachment wasn’t only one-sided. Nick watched out for Jack more than the other kids, and I didn’t think it had only to do with whatever he felt toward me.
Nick led us up the staircase to the firehouse common area. Their gear was lined up against the wall. Two firemen sat on a couch next to the kitchen and squinted at us as we followed Nick.
“Hey, is that the pole you slide down?” Jack pointed to the yellow pole like he was about to take off again. Thank God Nick read him like I did and pulled his hand back.
“Sure is. See our helmets and jackets are all set up so we can slip them right on and slide down when the alarm goes off.”
“Why do you have a kitchen? You cook?”
“Can’t fight fires if you don’t eat.” A tall fireman came up to Nick and slapped his arm. When he smirked, the shadow of a goatee couldn’t hide his baby face. “Back for a second shift, or did you decide to make uspernilafter all?”
Nick chuckled and shook his head “No, Will. Just showing my friends around. Jack, Ellie, this is Will.”
