“How is she?” I ask softly.
She sits up and gives me a soft look. “She’s good. Asleep. She ate a lot of junk, but I figured today was kind of a pass. There’s more leftover Chinese in the fridge than either of you can probably eat, but she seemed okay by the end of the night. I got her everything she needs, and…yeah.” I stare at her, her eyes that pretty grass color, the freckles across her nose barely visible in the dim room.
“Thank you,” I whisper. A beat passes, her eyes meeting mine, a patient and kind smile tipping up the edges, and without meaning to, I move closer, a step, then two.
“Anything for her,” she whispers. “You know that.”
I nod, and then she bites her lip, looking over my shoulder toward the door.
“I should probably go—” she says, starting to get up, but I step closer to her, putting a hand to her waist and pulling her to me. She doesn’t push me away, though. Instead, she rests herhead on my chest, a soft sigh leaving her lips as if she can’t resist giving herself this one small moment of peace.
I know the feeling.
“Stay,” I say, and her head tips up to look at me. The shield is gone, the same as it was that Friday night, and it’s all there: fear and trepidation and need and desire and, buried beneath all of it, love.
She’s so fucking mine, and she doesn’t even know it. Or she does and doesn’t know what to do with it.
“Jesse—”
“I just found out my only child is no longer a little kid. Please. Stay with me for a bit.” She hesitates for a bit, looking over my face, and she must see something there that makes her sigh, then agrees, stepping back and sitting on the other side of the couch from where I settle.
“Thank you. For coming today. I know…” I take in a deep breath, trying to find the right words, but I just go with my gut, throwing elegance to the side. “I know I fucked up that night. I got jealous, I got mean, I let my emotions win. We…” I shake my head, not wanting to say that night was a mistake, not wanting to give her that line to move forward with, not if I’m going to take my dad’s advice and move with kid gloves, but still movewithher. “Thank you for being there for her even when you have all the right in the world to be mad at me.”
A soul-deep sigh leaves her chest, and she shakes her head after a moment. “I’m not mad at you, Jesse.”
I raise an eyebrow at her.
“You’re sitting on the other side of the couch from me.” She sighs, rolling her eyes, and I have to tell my heart to calm down as it flutters with hope as she shifts, closing the gap between us until it’s barely a foot.
“Better?”
“You have no idea,” I say.
She smiles, then shakes her head before continuing, something I have to interpret as a good thing.
“I’m not mad at you. I’m…confused. I feel lost.”
“Why?” I expect her to brush past it, but as seems to be her way, she surprises me, giving me more, and I’m filled with relief that she’stalking.
“Because…when this started, I knew what I was getting into. I knew what to expect. One night, and then I’d move on with my life. One fun night and then back to normal.” We were delusional to think that was feasible, to believe we could ever go back tothe way things were.That was assuming there wasn’t anusbefore, but we were something long before that night. We just hadn’t added the physical complication yet. “We had a deal. We had a plan. We had rules.”
“Rules were meant to be broken,” I say.
“Not rules like that.”
“Why not?” She doesn’t answer, and I reach out for her hand, holding it in mine across the small gap between us. The touch grounds me, and I continue. “Why can’t we break those rules, Hallie? What makes them different?”
She hesitates, opening her mouth, then closing it, so close to confessing the truth before she chooses a different route.
“Because you don’t even date! The rules were in place because you don’t date. I can’t get tangled up in fairy tales when you don’t even want someone right now.”
“You’re right. I don’t want to date you,” I say, and disappointment flashes on her face before it’s buried once again under indignation.
“See! Exactly, that’s why we?—”
“I don’t want to date you, Hallie, because I want to start forever with you. I think we’re well past dating and getting-to-know-yous, don’t you?”
Her face drops, confusion taking over.
