“I’m not leaving you alone with a wild deer, Hallie,” he says, and with his words, the deer snorts as if annoyed by his belief she’d be anything but kind to me.
“He’s just protective,” I tell her, then turn to Jesse. “It’s Jane Doe. She’s very trustworthy.” He pauses, looking at me like I’ve completely lost it, but I give him a fierce glare and then speak through gritted teeth. “Go. Get. The. Celery.”
“When did you name her?”
“This morning.” He looks at me for a long moment, then closes his eyes and shakes his head. “Go get the celery!” I say again. With a resigned sigh, he turns to my house and disappears, and I take another tentative step toward the deer. Soon she’s just two feet from me, and I’m moving to bend to her level.
Yesterday, I saw Jane Doe in the woods, which is why I was out there taking pictures, not that I told Jesse that. Bumping into her again felt magical, but now I wonder if she found me on purpose. Yesterday, I felt so miserable after seeing those pictures of my mom and stepsister; I thought I’d imagined the deer. But when we found her again, it felt like it was meant to be, some sign from the world that it would be okay, that navigating this world without a mom wouldn’t be the end of me.
Just like her.
Her head lifts as Jesse’s boots crunch behind me, and then there are green celery stalks in his hands before me. I take them and then reach out, offering the leafy side to Jane. She steps closer, sniffs once, then gently takes it from my hand, crunching through the vegetable happily.
“Oh my god,” I whisper in awe.
“I haven’t believed this,” Jesse murmurs. “Only you would bond with an orphaned deer as soon as you move in here.” Allthe same, he has his phone out, taking pictures as if he knew I’d want him to.
“We’re the same,” I murmur, emotion in the words, then offer the second celery stalk to her. “I wish I had more in my fridge, but when I go to the store, I’ll get you more, okay?” I ask, then reach out and pet her nose. She blinks at me, then stands for a few more moments as I talk to her in hushed tones before turning and walking away. When she’s completely gone, I stand with a sigh.
“That was amazing,” I say, turning to Jesse excitedly. “Did you see it?”
He’s smiling and shaking his head.
“Yeah, I saw it, Hallie. But your lips are going blue again. You’ve got to get inside.” His eyes dip down to my lips, and again, memories flash through my mind. The way blue lips and that very deer led me to his hot tub. His eyes were hooded, and he was doing that same move before dipping to kiss me. The way I felt in his arms, free and light and like I had not a single want or desire in the world, so long as I was there.
My phone beeps in my pocket, a reminder that brings me back to reality.
A reality where Jesse and I can and will never be anything more than one night.
“You’ve gotta get Emma,” I say. Now it’s his turn to nod. We stand there awkwardly for a moment before I step closer and give him another hug. “Thanks again, Jesse. I’ll see you at dinner tonight?” He nods, and then, before I can make a fool of myself, I turn around and head into my house, closing the door behind me. I lean against it, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, sliding my phone out of my pocket to read Wren’s most recent inquiry to see if I’ve texted the kindergarten teacher or not.
Fuck it.
What better way to prove to myself I’m not going to be hung up on Jesse than to say yes to this? Quickly, I tap out a text, introducing myself and asking if he wants to get coffee sometime next week, and get a reply almost instantly. I clue Wren in, and she sends me back a text with far too many exclamation points and emojis, and I smile, though I can’t quite find it in me to be nearly as excited as her.
NINETEEN
That night, family dinner is normal.
Hallie smiles at me.
She jokes with Madden.
She giggles with Wren.
She passes the butter.
She acts like I didn’t make good on my promise the night before and fuck her hoarse.
“I’ve rented a bunch of rooms up at the lodge in Killington next month for my birthday, and I’d love you all to come. Wren told me you went last year and had a blast, and, well, I know I’m kind of new here, but Jesse and Madden, I know we talked about going snowboarding, so I figured we could make a weekend of it,” Adam says when we’re sitting in the den after dinner, and when I turn to Hallie, she gives me a small, knowing smile, not a hint of the usual shyness on her face that’s usually there when that trip is mentioned.
“Oh, fuck yeah,” Madden says, pumping a fist. “I’m in. But I’m not rooming with Jesse.”
“I’ve already told him that is the sure-fire way to have a miserable trip,” Wren says.
“Everyone gets their own room. Hallie, I already talked to Colton, and he’s coming.”
“So is Nat!” Wren says with a wide, excited look, and I realize now she’s probably been planning this for a week at least. It’s another check in Adam’sproscolumn, because somehow, the man is willing to spendhisbirthday getting his girlfriend’s favorite people all together and footing the bill.
