“We already agreed to watch Emma, so you’re free to go, Jesse,” Mom says. I shrug, eyes locked on Hallie.
“I’m in,” she says, looking at Wren.
“Me too,” I say, continuing to watch her.
It’s as if not only last night didn’t happen, but likenoneof it happened, as if one night truly did get me out of her system.
I fucking hate it.
By the time Hallie, Emma, and I walk home, I feel like I may have imagined it all. We drop Hallie off first, and she smiles, hugging Emma and then me before telling me she’ll get Emma off the bus like she did every day last week.
It’s all totally fucking normal.
All I can do is think about her. What she sounded like, what she felt like. What she fuckingtastedlike.
I’m going insane. Absolutely fucking insane.
That night, I tell myself it’s because she’s the first woman I’ve fucked in a long time.
I tell myself it’s because I can still hear her moaning my name if I close my eyes.
I tell myself it’s because there are still scratches on my back from her nails.
I tell myself a lot of things that night, trying to convince myself I’m okay withjust one night.
But when I fall asleep in the sheets that smell like her, I still don’t believe it.
Monday, I find myself finishing my work quicker than usual, heading home around four instead of my usual five o’clock. I tell myself it’s because it’s after the holidays and I have less to do. Still, I know there’s a list a mile long of things that need doing around the farm, things that need checking, and a dozen things I should be doing to continue preparing for the rough winter that’s predicted to come over the next two months.
But it’s much easier to say that than to admit I want to get home to see Hallie and watch her interact with my kid.
And if Ididsay that, it would have nothing to do with Hallie. It’s just that I rarely get to see Emma interact with people who aren’t her direct family. Watching Emma and Hallie gives me hope that I’m actually raising a good kid, like Hallie said, instead of a chaotic gremlin who
When I step into the mudroom, I kick the seat of the small bench, undo the laces on my boots, then kick them off and remove my jacket. I toss my hat in a bin along with my gloves and follow the sound of giggles and laughter into the kitchen.
“Hey, girls,” I say, and both sets of eyes pop up to me, surprised smiles over their faces.
And with it, all of the stress of the day fades away because right now, this is all that matters.
After dinner, I walk Hallie home while Emma finishes up some homework she forgot about. We’re silent on the way there, and I mentally take note of a few places I need to salt better. If she insists on wearing those shitty shoes, then I need to make sure it’s safe for her.
“Tomorrow work?” I ask when we get to the door. A blush pinkens her cheeks in a way I don’t understand. At least, not until she speaks.
“It should be. I have that, uh, coffee date at one.” My body stills. “But it should be done by two, and I’ll have plenty of time to get back here and get Emma off the bus.”
“Oh, well, uh,” I start, running a hand through my hair, suddenly unsure of…everything. “If you can’t get her off the bus, it’s really no big deal?—“
“No, I can. As I said, it’s just coffee. And it’s probably going to suck.”
I lift a shoulder, somewhat appeased.
“Who knows, it might be good,” I say quickly, and she hesitates, looking over my face and shrugging a shoulder of her own.
“Maybe. Either way, I should be able to get her off the bus.”
I nod, because what else can I do?
“Okay. Sounds good. Just, uh…let me know if something comes up. Mom can get her, or I can, no problem.”
