“It’s going to snow tonight,” my mom called after me as I shut the door firmly.
The evening news had confirmed the snow was going to start late this evening but I still had plenty of time to walk the few blocks to Main St. I considered the local hangout bar but the thought of running into anyone I knew did not appeal.
Tonight, I was running from ghosts—not trying to resurrect them. Instead, I turned the other direction towards the hotel bar. Locals didn’t frequent that establishment quite as often although there was a good chance I’d run into the wedding party or Austin himself.
I was counting on them still being at the rehearsal dinner. And maybe Austin was one ghost I still had unfinished business with. Not because I wanted to date him, but because I realized he was the catalyst to being closed off. I wasn’t sure exactly whatI hoped to learn by seeing him, but somehow felt like it might allow me to find closure and finally move on.
Because the truth was I wanted to be close to someone else. Seeing my friends happily paired off made me want things I hadn’t been prepared to desire. Their partners loved and cherished them and made their life more joyful, which is something I hadn’t seen before.
My own parent’s marriage was fine but seemed boring—at least to me. And the last thing I wanted was to be stuck doing the same things every day. Hell, I couldn’t even stand to be in their home for more than a few hours before I had to escape.
I cherished the freedom I had as a single woman because I’d always assumed relationships were a trap, not another form of adventure. Seeing the healthy versions of love my friends had found gave me a different perspective. Chasing down my painful past and finally putting it to rest would hopefully be the key to finally moving forward.
CHAPTER 3
Jordy
I leanedon the bar of the hotel restaurant where the rehearsal dinner was being held, waiting for a moment to slip away to retrieve my sister’s jewelry. Every time I tried to get away, there was another reason I had to stay—the toast, the wedding party gifts—on and on until it was just past eight and I still hadn’t made the trip.
“Have another beer.” The best man thrust a bottle of beer towards me but I pushed it back down the bar.
“No thanks. I have to drive in a bit.”
The look of surprise that crossed his face was in slow motion due to the amount of beer he’d already consumed. “Where are you going in this weather?”
“What weather?”
“Dude, we’re getting a huge storm. The roads are going to be impassible.”
“Not until later. I’ll be well back before the roads are covered.”
There was a storm predicted later tonight but there were hours yet before it hit and this was New England after all. We were used to driving in all kinds of weather. The Best Man was a college buddy of the groom and lived in Florida. Of course he’d think a few inches of snow was a disaster.
He shrugged and moved on to find another groomsman to drink with. They were going to be hurting in the morning, that was for sure. Before I could make my escape, my dad spotted me and strode purposely across the room in my direction.
I wished I’d accepted that beer because conversations with my dad typically turned into lectures about how I was failing him. My chosen career, my love of gaming, my lack of “business acumen” as he called it all fell short of his lofty goals for me, his only son. The fact that I was also nearing thirty and no serious relationship on the horizon was another source of concern for him.
As if everyone needed to be paired off by a certain age in order to be successful. I didn’t subscribe to his old fashioned beliefs yet he persisted in shoving it down my throat at every opportunity. Tonight was no different.
“I always thought you’d be the first to get married.”
One simple statement wrapped in a world of accusation. “I’m not even dating anyone,” I reminded him.
“You spend too much time on your computer, with those games of yours. You have a good career, make enough money. Dating shouldn’t be a problem for you.”
I couldn’t help the involuntary eye roll at his outdated beliefs. “Finding the right person to spend your life with is not something to take lightly. I just haven’t met the person I click with.”
The truth was, I felt more connection in the brief encounter I’d had with Courtney than I had with any woman I’d dated. There was a certain undeniable chemistry that needed to bepresent and for some reason, it just hadn’t happened for me yet until this morning.
Undeterred, my dad talked on. “Marriage isn’t just about chemistry because that fades. There are practical considerations. If you wait until you like someone, the eligible women are going to pass you by.”
“Wow dad, that’s a real shit perspective on love. How are you and mom still together?”
He shrugged as if he wasn’t sure himself. “I’m just trying to help you. Believe it or not, I want the best for you and want you to be happy.”
“I am happy. A relationship would be great but only if its someone I care about who adds to my life. I’m not just checking boxes for the sake of reaching milestones.”
Dad shrugged. “Suit yourself.” He clapped me on the shoulder before disappearing back into the party, leaving me to unpack the ridiculous conversation.
