I watch as they disappear inside, then start my trek across the grounds, feeling like I’m in a haze. A haze of fear, anger, but most of all, pain. So much pain it feels like it tightens my throat and suffocates me slowly. I feel any seeds of affection that had been forming for them—for Camden in a romantic way and for Wyatt almost as a sibling—start to evaporate. They lied to me in an unforgivable, irrefutable way; literally tried and succeeded inentrapping me.
In my anger, for a brief moment, I consider finding a way to sabotage them; to sabotage the treaty. Odelia said it was magically binding to both parties, but surely there must besomeway to get out of it. I immediately berate myself for my line of thinking—no matter how enraged I am with Camden, the treaty was the right thing, especially with the conflicts that I found out have been occurring between the witches and dark faye for quite some time now. They deserve the aid they’ll be getting. And despite my current vitriol towards the royal family, my time here has gone to show that not all shifters are monsters. The ones who kept the truth from me are monstrous, but I can’t faultthe many for the actions of the few. Shifter children, along with other innocents, don’t deserve to suffer and die in the upcoming war.
I’m about to quite possibly ruin my life in protection of an innocent hybrid life—I can’t very well do that while withdrawing needed protection from other innocents.
As I approach the edge of the warding shield I created with the help of Claude not too long ago, I cast a quick glance around to see if there’s anyone who might stop me. I see guards patrolling the land in the distance, but none of them appear to be coming in my direction or following me. Releasing a sigh of relief, I step over the boundary, feeling a small wave of magic wash over me as I do. Then, quickening my stride, I walk the remaining distance until I break through the tree line of the forest.
Lush trees tower over me, the sounds of birds chirping along with insects buzzing surround me, and the bright sun is dimmed through the thick leaves. Instantly, a sense of calm washes over me, easing my sporadic thoughts and racing heart. Slowing down to a leisurely pace, I navigate around bushes, shrubs, and trunks, heading deeper into the forest. Although turmoil still weighs heavily on me, the simple act of being in nature serves as a huge relief, and I allow myself to think about what I should do next.
Staying in the castle with Camden after his betrayal feels fundamentally wrong, but so does leaving while I’m pregnant with his child. That would be robbing him of something precious. Then again…hasn’t he just robbedmeof something precious? A sense of generalized safety and the trust that I’d slowly started to build in him has disappeared. If I stay, how can I ever trust him again? How can I keep rational while knowing he’s lied to me and hurt me?
I let out a long sigh. In the distance, I hear rushing water, probably coming from a river or creek. I follow the noise until I emerge on thebank of a riverbed, showcasing a lovely view of a small, rushing creek. Sunlight filters through the openings in the trees above, glinting off the crystalline water. The riverbed is covered in grains of sand, stones, and larger boulders. I spot a deer not far away, lazily lapping at the water—the deer looks up, notices me emerging onto the bank, and trots off back into the forest.
I climb one of the larger boulders bordering the water, perch on top of it cross-legged, and drop my head into my hands with a small groan. I’m exhausted from the events of today; on the heels of my rage at Camden, Wyatt, and every person in the castle who kept a very important truth from me comes a feeling of bone-deep tiredness.
I lift my head and allow my hands to roam down to my stomach. It’s flat now, but it’ll soon swell with the presence of a life. A life that I did not ask for, granted, but one I’m already feeling protective of. No matter what I decide to do, my priority is to protect the child growing within me.
Quietly, I murmur, “I’ll protect you, I promise. You might not have been expected, but youwillbe loved. Dearly.” I feel faintly like I’m losing my mind talking to a fetus so young it’s not yet classed as a life by witches, but at the same time, the words give me a strength and conviction that’s been absent. I rub my palm back and forth over my abdomen. “You’ll have the best big sister in the world too. Leisel loves babies; she’ll be thrilled to have you.” At least I’m no stranger to caring for infants; if I could raise Leisel at fourteen, there’s no reason I wouldn’t be able to care for my own child at twenty-three.
I think back to Odelia’s words on the complexity of interspecies pregnancies. Because of that alone, I’m feeling inclined to accept her offer of safe haven and go to her. That’s not to mention the depth of betrayal I’ve just experienced at Camden’s hands; I don’twantto be near him right now. In fact, I can barely stand the thought of it.
The complication there is the fact that our bond is now mostly complete—I’ve been marked and our bond has been consummated, which means distance from him isn’t a long-term solution, but it could be an effective short-term one. I’ll need to talk to Leisel and find out if she’s okay with leaving, but I think it’s safe to assume she will be. Besides, with our own kind, we’ll have access to a wealth of information, knowledge, and education we previously couldn’t have fathomed.
I give a nod, feeling resolved in my course of action. I’ll head back to the castle, and then later tonight I’ll open a portal to get away from here, even if only for a little while. Right now, anything sounds preferable to staying near Camden. I slowly climb off the boulder, then squat in front of the creek and splash my face with fresh water.
The sounds of several pairs of footsteps draw my attention to the tree line, and I stand and spin around to face it. My heart speeds up when I see three males emerge. They’re dressed in tattered clothing that hints at homelessness. Their faces are unkempt and dirt-streaked, with overgrown shaggy beards. The energy emanating from them tells me they’re shifters, but there’s something erratic about that energy that makes me uneasy.
All three regard me with expressions ranging from lust to menace, and I immediately understand that they are not people whose company it’s safe to be in.
“What do we have here?” one of them, a blond with shoulder-length, greasy hair asks with a lascivious grin that makes me uncomfortable. His eyes roam my body head to toe, raising the hairs on my arms.
The one beside him, with a bald head and the longest beard of the three, says, “Feels like a human.” In a taunting tone, he goes on, “Whatcha doin’ in these parts, girly? Don’t you know it ain’t safe to wander the woods alone?”
Trying to keep the nerves out of my voice, I straighten and say, “I’m passing through, just like you. Not looking for any trouble.”
The man in front of the three, a male with black hair and equally black eyes, says, “This isn’t just a human, boys. Flaming red hair and golden eyes—that’s the fuckin’Queen. The Earth witch—the one who just invitedwitchesinto Kinrith, endangering our entire kind.”
Shit.
Chapter Forty-Four
Ifreeze, knowing I am in very precarious waters right now and any move I make has the potential to not only harm me but the life growing within me.Gods, why was I stupid enough to leave the safety of the wards around the castle?Especially at a time like this? I know the answer; I was so disgruntled I needed to get into nature, and now that might cost me greatly.
These men clearly haven’t accosted me for any wholesome reasons. From the way they’re looking at me, especially after the black-haired one told them who I actually am, it appears they want to tear me to shreds or worse.
The bald one, eyes glittering with menace, says, “Her being the King’s mate is enough of a danger, then she had to go and invite even more of those vermin like her here. You wanna get all shifters killed, girl?”
Looks like not everyone’s on board with the alliance between witches and shifters.That’s something I can unpack at another time, once I’ve gotten myself out of this situation.
Dark Hair takes a few steps forward, followed by the other two. I can’t step back or I’ll fall into the slipperycreek, so I stay in place and summon my flame to the surface, preparing for the worst-case scenario; one in which I destroy them with the help of my fire to protect myself, then sprint back to warded grounds.
I hold a hand out in front of me and say, “Stay right there. If you’ve heard of me, you’ve heard what I can do. Don’t make me hurt you.” If Icanget out of this without taking life, I’d prefer to. I’m not a particularly kill-happy person—to me, killing is a last resort.
Dark Hair scoffs, saying, “The royals like to exaggerate to protect themselves from rogues like us. See, I don’t think you’ve got half the power they say you do.”
Rogues like us. His casual use of that phrase makes me realize exactly what the strange, erratic energy I sensed from them is: the mark of a rogue. My thoughts flick back to Claire who was a victim of a rogue attack that destroyed her home and killed the inhabitants of her village. I can’t let such a fate befall me; I won’t. There’s too much at stake,especiallynow. Now, I don’t just have Leisel to protect, I also have the baby inside me.
If these rogues don’t believe me, then they’ll feel free to do whatever they wish with me. I draw forward my flame, ready to put an end to this before it can even begin. To my shock, nothing happens. I feel my fire rising within me until it’s right below the surface of my skin, but for some reason, it’s unable to break that surface and come forward.
