And why did that thought hurt my heart?
Again, whose fault is it?
“You good?” I asked, my voice rougher than I meant for it to be.
Mylo nodded, but I could see the hesitation in his eyes. “Yeah... I think so. What about you?” He cracked a nervous smile, probably trying to lighten the mood.
I huffed out a breath and shook my head, a small smile tugging at my lips. “I’m not the one about to ride a horse for the first time.”
He let out a nervous laugh. “Fair point.”
I glanced at him—his shoulders tense, his grip on the reins a little too tight. My bear growled, wanting to calm him, but I kept my voice brisk, trying not to make a big deal of it. “You’ll be fine,” I said, keeping it matter-of-fact. “Snowdrop’s steady, and I’ll be right here. Just focus on staying balanced, and she’ll do the rest.”
He looked up at me, still uncertain, but he nodded. “Right... okay.”
I fought the urge to reach out, to place a hand on his shoulder and tell him everything would be okay. Instead, I stepped back and cleared my throat. “Let’s get started.”
I moved beside him, walking Snowdrop forward a few steps, making sure Mylo’s balance was steady. Each time I reached out to adjust the reins or guide his hands, our fingers brushed, and it felt like sparks shooting up my arm. I didn’t know if this was punishment or reward—spending time with him, touching him—but keeping myself in check the whole time was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do.
My bear huffed impatiently, wanting more than just these brief moments of contact. He wanted Mylo closer, wanted him in my arms, safe where he belonged. But I couldn’t give in to that. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
Because as much as I wanted him, as much as my bear craved him, I knew better. I’d made a promise to myself a long time ago—no humans.Not after James. And Mylo... well, Mylo was human. He was everything I couldn’t have, and every second I spent near him was just a reminder of how cruel the universe could be.
But at least if he was riding with me, I could keep him safe—even if that meant keeping him at arm’s length.
“Ready to go?” I asked, giving Snowdrop’s reins a gentle tug to lead her forward.
He nodded, though I could still see the nerves swirling in his eyes. But he trusted me. Even when he didn’t know it, he trusted me with his safety.
If only he knew the truth. That look in his eyes would vanish—just like it had in James’. Replaced by one I never wanted to see in my mate’s… fear.
Walking alongside Mylo should’ve been calming. The rhythmic gait of the horses, the open air, the quiet sounds of nature all around—it had the makings of something peaceful. But inside, I was anything but calm.
I was battling everything in me just being this close to him, and I wasn’t even sure which side I wanted to win.
He was catching on quickly, which was impressive. For someone who’d never ridden before, he seemed to be getting comfortable fast. I kept an eye on him, watching the way his body started to move with the horse instead of against it, how the tension in his shoulders eased. And every time he smiled orlaughed at something small, that knot in my chest tightened a little more.
He was just so perfect... and seeing that joy on his face made me realize I never wanted to see anything else there.
It’s because he’s your mate,my bear reminded me, a content rumble stirring in my chest. I tried to shove the thought aside, focusing on keeping Snowdrop at a steady pace.
We made light conversation, mostly about how beautiful it was out here—because, hell, there wasn’t much else to say. I wanted to ask him more, ask him a thousand things, but every time I opened my mouth, I clamped it shut again. I couldn’t risk getting closer to him than I already was.
“How do you get to work out here every day? It’s... honestly amazing,” Mylo said, his voice bright as he took in the scenery around us.
I forced a small smile, keeping my eyes forward. “Yeah, it’s a perk of the job.”
Both my bear and I preened at the fact that our mate loved this land—a land that was just as much a part of me as my bear. It felt amazing.
That was safe enough to say, wasn’t it?Nothing too revealing. I didn’t let my eyes linger on him too long because every time I did, I saw something more. Something that scared the hell out of me.
I could feel my bear stirring inside, wanting to be closer, urging me to say something real, something that would let him know who he really was to me. But I couldn’t do it. I had to keep the distance. Mylo had no idea what it would mean if he knew the truth, and I wasn’t about to let him find out.
You mean you don’t want to find out what he’ll do if he knows the truth. I really should just get “COWARD” tattooed on my forehead in all caps.
Suddenly, he turned toward me, his smile wider than it had been all day. “I think I’m getting the hang of this.”
That smile—it was like a punch to the gut. My stomach twisted, but I forced myself to stay composed. “You’re doing great.”
