“You growled,” he pointed out. “Rhys does the same thing when he’s frustrated or upset… It’s weird. I don’t know why I never noticed it before.” He shrugged. “But anyway, you growled.”
“I guess it’s a family trait,” I said and leaned back, folding my arms before I did exactly what I wanted to do, which was the same thing I always wanted… althoughwantdidn’t seem to capture what I was feeling.
Hold Kian. Love Kian.
“I don’t regret it either,” I said.
He climbed up another step. But before he could take the next one, I said, “But it doesn’t change anything.” I sighed, rubbing my eyes. “We can’t do this.”
Kian tripped as he took the next step but caught himself before falling.
“Oh,” he whispered.
Fuck, I couldn’t take the devastated and confused look on his face. I watched Kian fold in on himself, and hurting him made me want to puke.
“I want to. You have no idea how much I want to.” Maybe it was unfair of me, saying that, but I needed him to know.
“Is it because of—”
“No.” I didn’t bother waiting to see what he came up with. I couldn’t bear to hear him talk down about himself when it was my shit that was messing this up.
There was a part of me that tried to tell myself Urs wouldn’t send me someone that would betray my family or me. But one slip, and that was it. One thing every shifter the world over agreed on was humans could never know our secret. We saw how they either vilified, crucified, or exploited anything or anyone that was considered different. We would end up, best-case scenario, as sideshow freak entertainment or worse, science experiments.
I couldn’t risk that. Even as I thought it, it rang hollow. Down in my soul, I knew Kian could be trusted.
Kian stared at his feet, and in a whisper, he asked, “Is it me?”
I stood up and went over to him. As much as I wanted to touch him, I didn’t. I wasn’t sure I would be able to stop if I started.
“You’re perfect.” I needed him to never doubt that. “There’s just things you don’t know… I can’t explain.”
“Try,” Kian insisted. “I think there’s something here.” His shoulders lifted and dropped. “I know it’s new, and we don’t know each other very well, but…I’ve never felt like this before. If it’s Rhys, I could ask him if he’s okay with us first.”
I could hear my mate’s heart racing, and I knew how much it had taken for him to say all that.
“If it’s because I work for you, once you approve the files, technically, I wouldn’t. I have other clients.” He nibbled on his lips, and I couldn’t help it. I reached out and brushed the abused lip.
“I wish it was that simple.” I sighed.
“Maybe we could go back to that café…on a date?” My mate’s whole face was red, and even though I should say no, I couldn’t. I would take whatever time I could with my mate. It was selfish. But my bear and I were weak.
“Yes,” I blurted before I could let common sense take over. “We have to walk back to the house. I didn’t bring a car with me.”
“Your dad drove up in another car while your papa brought me,” Kian admitted. “They left one for us, for when you dropped me back.”
“Of course they did.” I should have known my parents couldn’t help meddling. I was still surprised they hadn’t shown up at my house.
We walked side by side down the stairs, our hands so close but not really touching.
Over and over again, my bear repeated,Mate. Ours. Perfect.
“How would you feel about takeout and a movie?” I asked, refusing to even think about it. Just one night… “At my place,” I tacked on.
Kian didn’t reply immediately, and I was about to take it back when he whispered, “That sounds perfect.”
* * *
I knewit was a bad idea, inviting my mate to my house, but I honestly couldn’t get me or my bear to care at the moment. We wanted our mate in our house. We wanted him in our space. His scent filling it till it could never be wiped away.
