I spend some time with her, basking in the realisation of how lucky I am to have Arianna with me. I’ve become a different person since I’ve had her in my life.
A better person.
When I’m sure she’s asleep, I go back to the other room, to the other person who makes us a family. To the other person who has changed me for the better.
I join him on the bed and pull him closer to my side. And while he sleeps I make a promise. A promise I have all intentions of seeing through, because he’s given me a gift I can’t ever repay. He’s made Arianna my daughter, and he’s made us a family.
“You saved my family, and now I’m going to help save yours.” I land a kiss on his beautiful curly hair, and I make another promise to him. “You’ll always find a home in me.”
After caring for Arianna this morning and putting her back to sleep at eight a.m., I went back to bed. Jay was waiting there for me, asleep again after trying to get up when the baby started crying. But I took ownership, and tucked him into bed before taking care of my daughter.
The bang of a fist on the door wakes me up, and with me the entire house. Who the fuck it is at nine a.m. on a Saturday morning? It better not be someone trying to sell me something, because I won’t be happy.
I put on some track bottoms and stomp to the door, pulling it open with a face like thunder. I’m not sure who’s more surprised, me at finding my parents on the other side of the door, or them at my aggressive and unwelcoming behaviour.
I should have stayed in bed.
“What are you two doing here?” I don’t have the patience to be civil, not when I’ve just been dragged out of bed, not when my daughter is crying her eyes out because they scared her, and not when the last thing I want is to have to deal with them today.
“Haden?”
Jay’s voice washes over me, bringing back memories of last night, and a desire for a repeat that awakens my body and fills my cock in a flash. I force my mind to think of horrible things but not even my parents’ presence seems to override Jay’s effect.
“My parents are here.”
“Oh.”
I’m not sure if it’s a good kind of oh, or an oh that means why didn’t you tell me they were coming. “They’ve come unannounced.”
Jay doesn’t answer, but instead goes back to attending to Arianna, who’s still crying. His hair is all messy and wild after our lovemaking.
What the fuck are they doing here?
I could be buried inside Jay right now and die happy. Instead, I’m at the door dealing with this shit.
“Back to my question. What are you doing here?”
“We want to see Arianna.”
“You can’t just see her whenever it pleases you.”
“It’s been days, and we’re tired of waiting.”
“You’ll wait until I say so. I don’t want to be ambushed in my house. Not at nine a.m. on a fucking Saturday morning. Not when I’m sleeping.” I’m so full of fucks I could swear for years.
“Boy! Calm down.”
“I’m not a boy, and you are in my fucking house, so you should be the one behaving if you want to gain access to myfuckingplace.” The last words are more of a shout than normal conversation. I’m fucking tired of his patronising behaviour. “I stopped being your boy when you two tried to kill me because I liked boys. Guess what, I still like boys, and the Lord hasn’t struck me down yet with his fury.”
A hand lands gently on my back, and I turn my head to find Jay there. His eyes are on me as if I’m all that matters. As if I’m m his only focus. The only important thing on this fucked-upmorning. They’re full of understanding and love. I want to read the emotion in his eyes as love, because I believe that is what’s between us.
“This is scaring Arianna.” His words have the immediate effect of calming me down.
I take a few breaths to allow my body to go back to a normal state from the flight or flee one I was in just seconds ago.
My parents don’t talk, but instead they look at me in the same way they always have, with condescending annoyance, because I’m not doing what they want me to do.
I don’t say anything, but I move to the side, leaving the door open in an unspoken invitation to come in. I grip the knob so tightly with the need to slam the door in their faces that it leaves a dent on my palm when I close the door and let go of it.
