“Thank you,” I say with a smile.
I’m glad when he sits next to me, giving me peace. We eat in a silence that never feels awkward. Our elbows touch every time we move, and these brief but scorching touches settle the turmoil I have seething inside me.
I’m glad when he doesn’t force me to speak, and instead he turns the TV on, the volume so low we can barely hear the voices. It’s a good distraction from my thoughts, which are fluctuating between the resolve to fight and the angered conviction of having to do it. My eyes go from the TV to the baby monitor to make sure Arianna is still sleeping, still safe. Illogical thoughts that keep me on edge.
When I’m done, I place my plate on the small table, as does Jay. I don’t move, letting the TV absorb my attention and slowly relax me.
At some point Jay’s head comes to rest against my shoulder, and I let mine rest next to his on the backrest. The tiredness of the encounter sneaks up on me, and forces my eyes closed.
I blink my eyes open, surprised by the change in light and the silence. I look around trying to find my bearings, taken aback by how dark the room is.
Jay is still asleep next to me, and I admire his sharp jaw, those inviting pink lips, and the curly hair I want to thread my hands through every time, not to tame it, but to appreciate its silkness between my fingers.
I glance at the monitor to check on Arianna, and I breathe better when I find she’s still asleep.
My eyes move from Jay to Arianna, and inside my head I hear a clock ticking away, telling me these moments are borrowed time. When those thoughts become too oppressive, I gently shake Jay and call his name while caressing his tempting hair. “Jay, let’s go to bed.” I don’t care if it’s still early, at six p.m., we all need rest.
“Yeah,” he says, rubbing his eyes, and yawning a moment later.
I stand, and take his hand to help him. When his eyes lock onto mine, I pull him up and into my arms. “Hey,” I say to him when his eyes meet mine once again.
“Hi.”
I like how breathless he sounds. “Bed?”
“Yeah.” I like how his sleepy eyes glow with desire.
I walk to the bedrooms, pulling him behind me. His room is the first we encounter, and when he tries to let my hand go, I tighten my grip and continue further down the hall.
“Haden? My room…” he says when I don’t stop.
“I want to have you both next to me tonight.” I stop next to the crib, and whisper the rest. “Sleep here tonight.”
“Are you sure?” he whispers back, his eyes sparkling at the idea of being here with me, and I love the idea of having him in my arms.
“Yeah. But you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“There’s nothing I want more.”
We walk to my side of the bed. I pull the sheets down and then turn to him, noticing he’s wearing his clothes and not liking it one bit. So I leave him there and go to my chest of drawers, opening one and pulling out one of my T-shirts, the smallest one I have, then walk back to him.
I wish I could strip him one piece at a time, caress his skin while I do that, and after making love to him, dress him in my T-shirt. That idea goes right to my cock, making it push against the zip of my jeans.
Arianna babbles and the idea flies away. With her in the room it’s not happening. Also, while I find Jay very alluring, I don’tneed sex right now. What I need is to feel the connection that links the three of us together.
I hand the T-shirt to him, and with a smile I push him toward the en suite. I watch him walk into the bathroom to get changed, and the desire to follow pokes its head up, but I ignore it. Instead, I pull a pair of grey joggers out, and when Jay comes back out I go take my turn.
Both Jay and Arianna were unexpected, but I’m glad they’re in my life, because they’re making it… making me a better person.
Jay is hypnotised by Arianna when I come back into the bedroom. He caresses her hair gently so as not to wake her up. Even in her sleep she must be aware of him, because her body is now angled towards him.
I take him in, and like maybe too much the way he looks in my too-big T-shirt. It covers half his quads, leaving the rest of his legs uncovered. One shoulder is visible and it makes my lips and teeth tingle with the need to taste him.
I join him, land a kiss on that tempting shoulder, and caress my daughter’s feet a couple of times. Once we get our fill of watching her sleep, I offer my hand to the man who has made us a family and never asked for anything in return.
He searches my eyes, and when he finds what he’s looking for he takes it.
I help him get in, and he scoots away to make space for me, then I follow him in. Jay is turned towards the crib, probably because Arianna made a sound, so I scoot close until I can be the big spoon.
