I love to see how much it angers him not being in control.
I’m not fucking done, though. “The first meeting will happen here.” Do I want them in my house? Fuck no. Do I want my mother to suffer the whole time she’s here? Fuck yes.
I’m a bastard, but I was born from two. I’m what they—she—created, and she has to live with the consequences.
“Your mother will never agree to this.”
“Then it’s her loss.”
“I’ll talk to her.” He’s quick to retract his last words.
“You better. Any bad comments, any judgement, any bullshit you two have in store to deliver when you’re here, and you’re out. That’ll be the last time you’ll see Ari because I’ll never allow you to see her again.”
“You are–”
I cut him off. “You better watch your mouth. If you think I’m the same boy you threw out of your house for being gay, you are utterly mistaken.” I pause. “While I’m still gay, I won’t allow your bigotry to affect me, my daughter, and the people who are part of my life.” I stand up and walk towards the door. “You can leave now,” I say, opening the door.
My father looks at me with the same hatred I witnessed in my teens.
I don’t allow myself to care, not right now. I stare back, waiting for his next move.
He stands, looks at Arianna, but doesn’t make a move to touch her, and I’m glad. Then he turns around and a step takes him out of the door.
He turns his head around once he’s out, but I don’t wait for him to talk, I just close the door in his face.
I lean against the door when it clicks closed, and the sound resounds in the otherwise silent room.
Once I have my emotions under control, I turn around to find Arianna and Jay looking at me.
Arianna offers me a drooling smile, while Jay’s gaze is full of worry. He must know that the stranger was my father. Our looks are too similar, to my dismay, for him not to have guessed.
The cracks in my armour, those I usually hide so well behind a wall, raise their ugly heads, showing to the world that vulnerable part of me I want to keep hidden.
Fuck!Fuck! Fuuuck!I scream in my head, because showing weakness means I’m not a man.Fuck their teachings.
The strength I thought I was made of is nowhere to be seen, and that sixteen-year-old boy looking for reassurance is here.
The face-to-face confrontation has drained me, but I protected myself and those I care for. I should be happy. But why are thousands of alarm bells ringing inside me?
“Haden?” Jay’s worried voice pulls me back from the abyss I’m about to fall into. “What’s wrong?”
I’m not surprised by Jay’s question after the amount of tension we were just subjected to. I’m thankful for his support when he could have left and gone to his room to avoid it.
“I’m concerned.” I’m more than that. I’m scared, terrified, fearful… I need them close, because my insides are telling me something is coming. Whatever it is, I’m sure I’ll have to fight to keep everything I long for from slipping through my fingers.
“Why?”
This is another question I’m not surprised to hear.
“They’re bad news.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Yeah.” And I’m not sure why, but I really want to open up to this kind and perceptive man who I had the chance to meet in the most unconventional way. “I—“
Arianna, who’d been fussy the whole time my father was here and who Jay has been cradling against his chest to calm her down, chooses that moment to voice her displeasure.
Maybe like us she’s trying to let go of all the tension she was subjected to.
