He kept vigil while I slept, and when he finally closed his eyes I was there for him, for them. Who will support him when I’m not here?
I haven’t let the thought that this is temporary stop me from involving my heart. Maybe I’m stupid, maybe I’ll be crying soon, and maybe I’m bringing this on myself, but when it comes to Arianna…and Haden, my brain reminds me of the man who occupies the part of my brain not reserved for his daughter. When it comes to them I don’t want to go in half-hearted. They deserve everything.
I pull the door closed gently and then head to the kitchen. The bottle steriliser is humming. Haden has taken care of Arianna before going to work, but I check that everything’s ready for when she needs to eat again. It makes me feel useful and incontrol, two things I really need in my life after spiralling into not having any of both.
Also, it keeps me from freaking out. It’s been a week… seven bloody days since I heard from Jeremy. All my calls and texts have gone unanswered and I’m close to tearing my hair out.
I check the kettle and it’s full—even in the small things Haden takes care of me. I shouldn’t like him this much when everything is on a temporary basis. I turn it on and lean against the counter while I wait for it to boil. I look around, the house feeling too big when those two are sleeping. Those big personalities of theirs never give me time to think about the future, or to think about what comes next.
My phone buzzes and I pull it out, hoping it’ll be a text from Jeremy. Of course it’s not Jeremy. Instead, it’s Haden, and my heart does a little somersault, like it does when he touches me.
Haden
Awake?
Or are you battling with the princess?
Even his messages are short and to the point, but still the way he cares comes through.
Jay
She’s sleeping. I’m making coffee before she wakes up and remembers that she’s starving.
Haden
Call me.
We usually have time to have a cup of coffee together in the morning before he goes to work, but this morning the knock at the door and his head poking in to tell me it was late it’s all I got. I cherish the moments we spend together before Arianna is awake. No coffee together, and no morning discussion about our plans for the day have left me a bit out of sync. Those are my moments with Haden, where the connection we have is undeniable.
I hit the button and the call connects almost immediately, without giving me time to prepare to hear his sultry voice through the phone.
“Good morning,” he greets me, and boy the shivers I get are out of this world. His voice should be illegal.
“Morning.” How can I be shy when we live together and his face is the first thing I’m lucky to admire in the morning? Let’s noteven talk about his chest, and the tattoos I still haven’t had the chance to lick one by one.
Pull your head out of the gutter, I tell myself, but damn if his voice doesn’t press all the right buttons.
“It felt strange not talking to you first thing this morning.”
Does he have some mysterious power telling him what I’m thinking? “Yeah, it was.” Not to let his words go to my head, I joke, “I missed my coffee this morning. It’s always better when it’s handed to me.”
“You must still be asleep. You’re usually the one doing the handing in the morning.”
Oh my, his chuckle leaves me breathless and surprised, and I need to go downstairs and touch his lips to be sure he’s really him, because he never chuckles. He’s been smiling more since I’ve been here, and even more since Arianna has arrived, but we were deprived of his laugh until today. I let it wash over me, enjoying every single tingle I get from it.
“Am I?” I don’t even remember what we were talking about.
“My client has arrived. Talk to you later.” He’s gone before I can reply, so I put the phone down and prepare myself a cup of coffee.
My phone vibrates on the table, and I pick it up.
Haden
Has Jeremy called?
Jay
Nope. I’ll have to hunt him down.
