I could tell from my siblings faces that they believed the words coming out of my mouth about as much as I did.
“Raylan, you know you can talk to us,” Marco said. That was when I’d officially had enough. I couldn’t do this. I needed air. I needed tobreathe.I needed to get the hell out of there before I cracked.
“Nothin’ to talk about. The bastard’s dead. Good riddance.”
“Raylan—” Holly pushed up from her stool and took a step in my direction, but I knew if she touched me, I’d lose it.
“Look, I gotta go. I’ll see you guys later, all right? Love you.”
With that, I spun on the heel of my boot and took off, trying to outrun the sound of their concerned voices calling after me... just as I was trying to outrun my own demons.
Chapter Thirty-One
Lennix
Something was wrong. I paced back and forth, my animals watching me anxiously as I did, including Daisy, who I wasn’t in the mood to scold.
Raylan should have been home hours ago. The sky was dark outside, so there was no way he was out on an excursion with any lodge guests. Out of everyone obsessed with my safety, he was the worst, so I knew that if something was keeping him from being here, it had to be something big.
I lifted my phone and checked my texts for the five-hundredth time in the past ten minutes. Nothing. All of my texts had gone unanswered. The read receipt hadn’t even popped up, and any time I tried to call, it went straight to voicemail. The more time that passed without hearing from him, the worse my panic got.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I said to Pirate. “I feel that condescending stare of yours.” I was losing it, arguing with my damn cat like he was a person. “You know, my brother was right, you’re a bit of an asshole. Don’t sit there, with your judgycat eyes, judging me.” I jabbed my finger in his direction. “You better remember who feeds you.”
Just then, my cell started to ring. “Oh, thank god,” I wheezed out. But when I looked at the screen and saw Holly’s name, I couldn’t help but deflate a bit. Shaking that off, I swiped to answer and brought it to my ear. “Hey, sweetie. How are you?”
“Lenni, is Raylan there?”
My back shot straight at the worry in her tone. “No. Why? Is everything okay?”
Her sniffle was answer enough, but she still said, “We’ve been calling and calling, but he wouldn’t pick up, and now it’s going straight to voicemail, like he’s turned it off. I was hoping he was at your place.”
“He’s not. Holl, what’s going on?”
“Gypsy called us all over today to tell us that she found out Danny, our sperm donor... well, he-he died, Len.”
Her answer sucked all the air from my lungs and the room around me. “Oh, my god,” I whispered. “Holly, I’m so sorry.”
She sniffled again. “It’s okay. Really. I mean, it’s sad, but not the way you might think. I was so little when they left us, I barely even remember them, and what I do remember... it isn’t good.”
“I know, sweetie,” I said soothingly. I knew all about the worthless wastes of space that were their biological parents. The Bradbury clan hadn’t missed out on much, not having them around. Honestly, I knew they’d grown up better off without them. That didn’t mean the shadow of them didn’t lurk, and they didn’t occasionally feel the pang of not being loved enough by the two people who should have loved them unconditionally.
“It’s a little sad to hear that he died alone.” I let out a sympathetic hiss. “Lenni, he didn’t have anyone. I mean, he’d been gone for days before he was finally found. I’d be sad for anyone under those circumstances. I’m only human.”
“Honey, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I get it. You have a good heart.”
“Thanks.” I could hear the smile in her voice at that one word. “Anyway, Raylan got all weird at the news and took off.”
A painful wrenching pulled in my chest. “What do you mean he got weird?”
“I can’t explain it,” she answered. “He got really pale and quiet. It was like his eyes went blank. Then he said he didn’t care and took off. Now none of us can reach him.”
My heart broke for him, and I wanted nothing more than to go to him, to hold him and make it better. “I’ll go look for him,” I insisted.
“Lenni.” That one word was said with equal amounts of relief and worry. “Are you sure that’s safe?”
“I won’t leave the ranch, Holl, I promise. I’m perfectly safe here.”
The gust of air that carried across the line told me just how grateful she was. “Thank you.”
