I absolutely had. There was no point in denying it, so I stayed silent as I sucked back the rest of my beer. The smart thing to do would have been to switch to water to keep my head clear, but if recent action was any indicator, I wasn’t exactly making the wisest decisions.
I caught the waitress on her way by, depositing my empty pilsner glass on her tray and ordering another. I needed the alcohol to burn off the anger brewing inside me at the fact my Chaos was being ogled by every fucker in here tonight. Not that I could blame them. She was the most beautiful thing in the room, and the way her ass looked in those jeans was downright criminal. Once again, I sought her out, and what I saw when I found her had me seeing red. I watched Lennix throw her head back and laugh at something that fucker, Davis, had just said.
The waitress returned with my drink, and I didn’t hesitate to chug down half of it when she leaned across the bar that separated them and placed her hand on his forearm, smiling that gorgeous, bright smile of hers, I slammed the glass down so hard it was a wonder it didn’t shatter. Liquid sloshed out, spilling over my hand and across the table.
“Excuse me for a second,” I said quickly, shooting to my feet when I saw Lennix heading for her office.
“Don’t, man,” Hardin warned. “Her brother will be back any second. You think he won’t notice you’re missing?”
“Tell him I had a bad burrito at lunch or something. And do me a favor. Just... don’t say anything about this, okay? Be right back.”
I didn’t give either of them a chance to argue, taking off in her direction without a backward glance. It was harder than it should have been to keep from breaking into a run. Aside from Hardin and Rhodes, no one else had a clue, and I couldn’t draw any more attention, especially given what I was about to do.
I was playing with fire; logically, I knew that. I just didn’t give a shit in that very moment. I was full of adrenaline, buzzing so hard it felt like the blood in my veins had been replaced by electricity.
I caught up with Lennix as she was pulling her office door open. “Hey!” she snapped when I put my hand in the center of her back and propelled her forward, following her inside and locking the door behind me. “What the hell?”
That was all she managed to get out before I slammed my mouth down on hers.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Raylan
Her hands came up, fisting in my shirt. For a second I thought she was holding on, using her grip to keep me close. I realized I read her wrong when she shoved me backward, catching me off guard enough to make me stumble.
“What the hell was that?” she spat indignantly, her cheeks flushed, expression angry. “Zach is out there. Have you lost your mind?”
“Yes,” I said on a growl as I closed the distance between us once more. Sanity had taken a flying leap right out the window, and I couldn’t care less. All that mattered in that moment was her. Kissing her. Tasting her. Sinking deep inside her until she was all that existed. “Yes, Chaos. I have lost my mind. I’ve been sitting out there for a goddamn hour, watchin’ every asshole in the place stare at you like they were picturing you naked.”
She raised her hands, palms out, to keep me at bay. “You’re being ridiculous.”
I was, but I didn’t think anyone would blame me, especially if they had any idea what it was like to be with this incredible,sexy, infuriating woman. As a matter of fact, I’d never felt so out of control in my life. My body was like a runaway train with no brakes, and I hated the feeling almost as much as I was growing addicted to it.
“Stop moving away from me,” I clipped when she rounded the desk, putting it between us.
“Then stop acting like a freaking caveman.”
A caveman. That was exactly how I was behaving, and I couldn’t help it. Between wanting to murder everyone out there and wanting to mark Lennix as mine in a way no one could miss, my mind was spinning out of control.
“I wouldn’t be acting like a caveman if that fucker, David, hadn’t been flirting with you.”
Lennix’s eyes rolled toward the ceiling. “One, his name is Davis. You know that, you’re just being petulant. And two, he wasn’t flirting with me!”
I might have laughed if her complete obliviousness when it came to the opposite sex and their reaction to her wasn’t so goddamn maddening. Glowering at her with every ounce of frustration coursing through me, I crossed my arms and clipped, “I don’t like him.”
She barked out disbelieving laugh. “I don’t care. You don’t have to like him. He works forme.”
“So you’re saying you like him?” I threw back, having reached the level of immaturity in this conversation that led to me acting purposely obtuse. I could tell by the way her features shifted that had been the absolute wrong thing to say, but it was as if a dam had broken and all the words were rushing out too fast for me to catch.
“I’m done with this conversation. You need to leave.” She headed around the desk to the door, but before she could throw it open and kick my sorry ass out, I latched onto her elbow and wheeled her back around so I could slam my lips down on hers.Not touching her wasn’t an option. My need for her had gotten so out of control, I could barely see straight.
“I’m sorry,” I said against her lips, my words and the kiss pleading and desperate. “I’m sorry.” I peppered her face and neck with kisses in between words as I tried to explain the torrent of unfamiliar emotions churning around inside me. “I just... I hated seeing you laugh and smile at someone else. I’m a selfish fucking bastard, and I want that smile for myself. I want to be the one to make you laugh like that all the time.”
“Raylan,” she breathed out as her head fell back to give my teeth and tongue better access. Her tiny hands fisted in my shirt again, this time to keep me close as her back arched, those bountiful tits pressing against me hard enough I could feel how tight her nipples were. “This... this isn’t healthy.”
Panic slammed into me with the force of a freight train at the thought of her pulling away from me, of ending us. In the back of my mind, I knew it was inevitable, that the day would come when we’d have to end, but not today. It couldn’t be today. I wasn’t ready. I needed to find a way to make it so I didn’t lose her from my life completely when all was said and done. It wasn’t only Zach I was terrified of losing. Lennix was one of my best friends. I couldn’t lose that. Even when the day came that she settled down with someone who could give her everything she deserved.
But fuck if the thought of her with some piece-of-shit didn’t gut me, leaving my insides on the ground at my feet. Some other man’s ring on her finger. Her swollen and glowing with another man’s baby.Fucking hell, the idea of that made me murderous. Just thinking about it made me want to put my fist through a goddamn wall.
