I’ve got my dad’s affairs to take care of and my own life to figure out. And right now, I’ve got a chore list from Everett to keep me busy through the day. It’ll be enough.
It has to be.
I’ve only really got one task to get through today, but it’ll be long and boring, and I can only hope I’ll be able to stay focused and keep my mind from wandering. The patch of fencing I need to reinforce in the back pasture is long, but at least I’ll be alone out there for the most part. If I need to have a bit of a mental breakdown in order to get my head back on straight, that’ll be between me and the cows.
Just as I slide the staple gun into the bed of the truck, Wayne comes around the corner of the barn, whistling a merry tune. He really is as cheerful as I remember him, but it is nice how he’s less careless than he used to be. I guess a baby and a wife will do that for you.
“Cross!” he says, a wide grin on his face. “Need a hand, there?”
I glance between the pile of fencing materials and Wayne, then offer him an easy shrug. “Sure, if you’re offering. Skipping out on work?”
Wayne laughs as I start loading spare fence posts, handing them off to me so I can stack them in the truck bed.
“Letting the new kid run things for the day,” he says. “I’m considering him for partner, so I want to test him out a bit. I’ll swing by around lunch and see how everything’s going. Figured I’d keep busy until then.”
Right. This new, responsible Wayne has his own law practice, helping the locals out when they go up against corporations in court. Damn. Everyone seems like they’ve got it all figured outthese days. I can’t help but feel like a bit of a failure, dragging my ruined football career and mountains of regret behind me.
“How are things treating you around here?” he asks. “Are you settling in alright?”
I know he’s trying to ask if I’m alright without saying it—someone does every day, veiled questions about how I’m doing, if I need anything. They all seem to expect me to be more torn up about Dad’s death than I am, but I don’t know how to explain that they all knew him better than I ever did.
I loved him, but he was closer to being their family than mine, really.
“All good on my end,” I reply cheerfully, hoping he won’t press any further. “Only thing giving me any trouble around here is Jenny.”
Wayne laughs heartily at that, just like I hoped he would, his attention diverted from checking up on my emotional state. I can talk about my feelings if I need to. I went to a therapist for a while after getting benched for the first time due to an injury. But that’s not what I need right now.
Right now, I just need to work.
“I can’t even imagine how hard she’s being on you,” Wayne says with a theatrical groan. “She damn near scalped me when I first came back home. Though if Dad didn’t toss me on my ass,shewas going to. Don’t tell me she’s following you around bitching about how you do things?”
I chuckle, but shake my head. Itisa very Jenny thing to do, but I don’t think she’s willing to be around me that much, even if it means getting to micromanage me.
“Nothing that bad. Chewed my ass out when I ran into her this morning, though,” I tell him with a scoff. “I offered to help her find the new calf pen, but she laid into me. Spouted off all this shit about how I don’t know anything about the ranch or about her. Guess we’re not going to be friends after all, huh?”
Wayne laughs at my lame pass at a joke, not catching the seed of honest disappointment in my words. I sure was hoping that Jenny and I wouldn’t be at each other’s throats, but it doesn’t seem like I’m going to get what I want.
“Damn, and I didn’t even get front row seats? You’re holding out on me,” Wayne says with a teasing grin. “I feel bad for you, man. Seems like she’s really got it out for you. Kind of nice not being the target for once, though. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and Jenny can hold a grudge like she’s earning fucking interest on it.”
I roll my eyes at him, but he’s right. “Trust me, Jenny’s the least of my worries. If she was going to beat me up, she’d have done it years ago.”
Not that Jenny would ever take a swing at me, but if it would make her feel better, I’d let her get one in for free. I still don’t really get what she’s so pissed about after all this time, but I’ve always been weak when it comes to her. I’d probably let her sink a knife into my gut if she asked me nicely enough, to be honest.
“Why’s she hate you so much, anyway?” Wayne asks, putting on a false casual look as he leans against the bed of the truck. “She never told us what happened between y’all, just that you two broke up and she thinks you suck. I like you, man, but if you cheated on my big sister, I have to deck you at least once for it.”
The threat is even more laughable coming from Wayne. He was a hothead when we were younger, but I’m pretty sure the guy’s never even gotten close to a fistfight. He’s not a small dude, but he doesn’t have anywhere near the bulk I carry, and I’m nothing but muscle.
Lucky for both of us, nothing even remotely similar happened.
Like I’d be stupid enough to do something like that back in the days when I could still call Jenny mine.
“Nothing like that,” I say with a chuckle and a shake of my head. “We just broke up before college, different plans, different directions. That’s it. Don’t know why she’s still pissed about it, and I don’t care.”
Liar, my own brain hisses at me, ever helpful.
I couldn’t stop myself from caring about her even if my memories were wiped. She’s always had me wrapped around her pinky, and it seems like all this time hasn’t changed that at all.
I slide box after box of heavy-duty staples into the bed of the truck, not really caring where they wind up. My mind is too messy to worry about something so trivial, and I’ll just have to yank them out again as soon as I get over to the pasture in the far back. No use organizing everything carefully for such a short trip.
