“How long ago was this? Four years, nine months, something along those lines? Wow. The choke hold I must’ve had on you.”
“I had loads of pictures on my fridge, since I didn’t have anywhere else to put them. Figures that she noticed the one with you in it.” He takes a break from pretending to adjust my jewelry to remove the choker necklace from my throat, silk weaving between his fingers.
“Do you still have it up? My picture, I mean.”
A stern glance. Then he loops the ribbon around his wrist, fashioning it into a bracelet. “No.”
“I bet you know where it is, though. What on earth are you doing?”
“Stealing your ribbon.”
“Get your own.”
“That defeats the purpose of stealing yours.”
Before I can ask why he needs my ribbon, he continues, “Initially, I thought you were with Trevor.” He briefly pins me with a fierce look. “Because you said you were. For a while, though, I suspected you weren’t. Then, I thought youwereagain, and then after that I thought, no, I was right to have been suspicious. It’s been quite a ride. I haven’t had you alone to myself nearly enough until last night. I wasn’t sure how to say it, how to introduce you to Miles. As a friend?AmI your friend?”
“I have no idea,” I reply honestly.
Alex finger-combs Miles’s hair. “Your pants are on backwards. Let me help you fix that.”
Miles’s forehead puckers as he surveys himself. “No. I want it this way.”
“All right, then.” Alex gives him a thumbs-up. “You look great.”
Miles gives a thumbs-up, too, his small face serious.
“I don’t want to be ring bearer,” Miles says, and Alex inhales. Squats down.
“Why don’t you want to be the ring bearer?”
“I don’t want to walk, I want to sit with you.”
“I’m not going to be sitting. Remember? I’m going to walk with Grandma down the aisle, and then I’ll stand near Grandpa Daniel.”
“Can I walk with you, too?”
“I don’t see why not. Would you help us out and hold onto the ring box, though? I’m going to be holding Grandma’s arm,and she’ll be holding her flowers, so we need a big helper to hold the ring.”
“Okay.” Miles admires himself. “I like my shoes!”
“You look very nice,” I hear myself say, distantly.
“Thank you. You, too.” Miles isn’t looking at me, and his reply is perfunctory, but Alex beams.
“She does, doesn’t she?”
I am a hanger-on, uncertain of myself, my presence, my role here. All I know is that I don’t like the way this uncertainty feels and it makes me want to hide.
Chapter Twenty-Five
GREEN LOCUST TREE:
Affection beyond the grave.
Patricia, the maid of honor, arrives at the last second. She and Kristin ruin their makeup crying over how beautiful the other looks. I hitch a ride with Teyonna in a car full of wedding gifts for the bride and groom, two miles away to the barn where the wedding’s now going to be held. When I leave Half Moon Mill, Alex is calm and smiling. They’re going to take pictures with the rest of the wedding party, then head over.
When Alex shows up at the barn, however, his eyes are bloodshot. I don’t mean bloodshot as ingot a little teary during the photo shoot. At some point between my leaving half an hour ago and now, he had to have trulycried. I grab his arm, startled. “You okay?”
