I frowned at the man above me and did the only thing I could: I turned my bare back to him, so he could see the mark of a Lycan and curled my fingers into the pillow, digging them in and waiting for something. Anything.
But it never came. No scolding. No yelling. Nothing.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I really am.”
After five minutes of pure silence, I turned my head. He had his lips pressed in a tight line. His eyes were gold, but not that fiery gold that I had seen almost every night. They were a sad, swelling gold. “You’re leaving me.”
“Roman…” I sat up, pulling the blankets over my naked and exposed body.
“You went behind my back. You’re leaving me to be a Lycan.” His voice was louder this time, more hurtful.
“We’re still mates, we—”
“Mates that don’t live together, mates that will never see each other, mates that lie to each other. Those aren’t mates, Isabella.” He clenched his jaw and stared out of the window, the moonlight glimmering off his perfect fucking face. “The whole reason for mates is to build a life with one another, and you’re leaving me!”
I pursed my lips together, suddenly angry at him. “This isn’t my fault.”
“This isn’t your fault? You could’ve told me about it. You could’ve told me that fucking asshole was talking to you behind my back. What did he say to you? What did he promise you? Happiness with him? Is that what you wanted? Did you want someone to fuck you because I wanted to wait until you knew we were mates?” He ran his hands through his hair and abruptly stood off of the bed. His minty scent was making this oh-so-goddamn hard.
I stood too and poked a finger right into his chest. “You do not blame me for this. If you would’ve accepted me as a warrior, then we wouldn’t have to be in this position. I accepted a position from Ryker because he believed in me from the beginning, unlike you.”
“You think I didn’t believe in you?” He shook his head and grabbed my hand tightly in his. “That’s fucking ridiculous. I had full intentions of placing you on the team until he showed up at practice. I had full intentions of making you the best fucking warrior I had ever known. Had tortured myself for days for assigning you as a nurse. But not placing you on the team kept you safe from any danger.”
I knotted my brows together. “That doesn’t make shit any better, Roman.”
“Tell me this, Isabella, would you have taken the position as a Lycan if you were a warrior?”
I pressed my lips together. “Tell me this, Roman, why did you tell me I was terrible at fighting? Did you want me to feel bad about myself? You chose Vanessa over me. You know how embarrassing that was. I trained my whole life to be a warrior.” I shook my head. “You know, maybe if you accepted me from the beginning and told me you were my mate, I would’ve made another choice.”
He dropped my hand and stepped back in disbelief. “Maybe?” He held back his wolf. “Maybe?” His voice was louder this time. “You wouldn’t have given me a sure chance?”
“You didn’t give me a chance.”
“That’s different.”
“No, it’s not, Roman. It’s not different.” I shook my head and pressed my lips together. If we were going to fight about this, we might as well put everything on the table. “Why didn’t you ever tell me that you were my mate? Why keep it a secret for the three years you’ve known?”
Silence.
“Is it because you wanted to fuck whoever you fucking wanted to and didn’t have to take responsibility for it?”
He clenched his jaw and grabbed mine, forcing me to stop talking. “Stop.”
I glared at him. “Is that the reason?” My heart pounded in my chest. Did he want to be with other people when he knew for sure I was his mate? Nobody hid their mate from the world. Nobody could spend a single moment without them. Something tightened in my chest, and my wolf whimpered. Did he not want us—both of us?
Tears rolled down my cheeks. All the last few weeks, all the hurt, all of the betrayal, all the lying was finally coming out and I didn’t stop it.
“Don’t be stupid, Isabella.” His voice was quieter but still tense. “Since I’ve known that you were my mate, I haven’t been with anyone.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and pushed him away. I wasn’t sure what to believe.
“You don’t believe me, do you?” He shook his head, snatched his journal from off of the dresser, and flipped through it. My eyes widened, seeing the hundred sketches he had drawn of me.
Everyone was of me. Me running. Me smiling. Me training in the backyard with Derek.
“I spent every fucking day since I turned eighteen wishing that I could be with you and only you. You know how long I’ve waited for this moment? To finally make you mine?”
His eyes were pure rage. I grabbed the notebook from him, my shaky hands flipping through the pages upon pages upon pages. I couldn’t believe it. He had drawn that picture of me. He had given it to me to show how much he cared, even though he couldn’t really show it. I just didn’t understand why he didn’t tell me.
