It stuns me that he blurted it out so nonchalantly, but it’s better this way. It’s always better to rip the Band-Aid off quickly.
He looks between me and Steven silently, his blank expression not preparing me for the reaction he’s going to have. Will he even believe us? Our lives have been so hectic lately, and I didn’t want this to be the straw that broke the camel’s back for his mental state.
These years are very important for any child as they grow and learn new things. Learning that this man, who you’ve become close to, is really your father, I can’t imagine what’s going on in his head.
Or maybe he doesn’t fully understand the severity of the situation.
“Is…” he says with a confused look on his face. “Is that why we can’t live with grandma and grandpa anymore?”
His tone is dripping with sadness as he looks into my eyes again. “Uh. Yes, part of the reason, but it’s not a bad thing. Now we get to stay here and it’s fun, right?” He nods, and I take his hand and rub my thumb against his soft skin.
“The important thing that we want you to know is that we love you so much and that if you ever have any questions, you can come to us.” Steven smiles the best he can, given the situation.
For a moment, Damian looks down at the floor, and I feel devastated that I caused this reaction from him. Is he disappointed or angry with me? I would understand either emotion.
As he raises his head back up, his green eyes glimmer as his wide smile shows all his little teeth. “I knew it!” he exclaims. “I knew he would get this for me!” He’s nearly jumping in place at this point, and my face twists with confusion.
What is he talking about?My concern is turning into a million questions as I raise an eyebrow at him. “Buddy,” I ask, grabbing his hand again. “What do you mean?”
Steven looks at me with the same confused look as Damian lunges forward, hugging him around the neck. As he lets go, he does the same to me, and I pat his back and laugh.
“Damian, who got you what?” I ask again, still not able to connect the dots.
“I asked Santa to find my dad and he did!”
Immediately, my mind is taken back to the day at Christmas Wonderland when I brought him to meet Santa. Damian had asked him this question, causing me to get choked up. Steven was there too, and as I looked at him, his eyes grew misty.
A tear falls from my eye, streaming down my face.
“I think he knew that I already loved you so much, so he gave me you,” Damian continues as Steven reaches out and lifts him onto his lap. His face is now wet from his own emotions, and I’m stunned.
I always knew Damian was wise beyond his years, but this just shows me that it’s so much more than that. Steven hugs him again, and this time, I join in.
Why would I ever think that my little boy would hate me? He’s the only person on this planet who isn’t wired to hold hatred, especially toward the ones he loves.
It makes me feel so proud that I’m his mother. I’m the lucky one…
