I feel a hand grab my hand before I can make contact, and I scream out of frustration. I know my father wants to stop me because we are his kids, but Cam deserves a lesson. All I want to do is make him hurt like I’m hurting.
“That’s enough, Steven.” I barely hear my father’s voice over Cam screaming for me to get off him. I have to admit…watching him squirm is comical.
I grunt one last time right in his face to scare him as I stand up and back away from him and shake my head. “You know what,” I say, “you’re not worth it…None of this is worth it. I’m done. Don’t contact me ever again. Don’t contact Becca ever again.”
Turning on my heels, I walk toward the front door again, but stop. “Oh, and by the way,” I say as I turn back around momentarily. “You’re obviously fired.” I watch Cam’s face drop as my father helps him up to his feet. “Maybe they can help you now since they’ve done nothing but coddle your ass all your life.”
As I leave, I slam the door as hard as I can. The cold winter air cools my heated skin as I walk to my car. I have to admit, eventhough I’m still distraught, telling them off is the best feeling in the world.
For many years, I fantasized about the day I could do that. I just chalked it up to wishful thinking, assuming that the day would never come. But now that it happened, I have never felt lighter.
I meant every word I said to them. I no longer want anything to do with them, or anyone in my family, for that matter.
After taking a moment to breathe, I race home, wanting nothing more than my bed. I’ve never had such a long day in my entire life.
A small part of me wishes that Becca were there waiting for me, but I’m not sure if I have any fight left in me tonight. The moment I pull into my driveway, my phone chimes from the passenger seat.
Names run through my mind like a roulette wheel. Who could be messaging me after the eventful day I had? A worried employee, someone in my family to ream me out, or maybe it’s Becca, trying to get me to talk to her.
None of which I want to see.
Against my better judgment, I pick up my phone, and my heart aches.
Becca:I’m sorry that I lied to you. I understand if you don’t want to talk to me, but I really hope you can forgive me one day.
It has nothing to do with me forgiving her one day. It has everything to do with the fact that she lied to me and that I’m going to need time to wrap my head around this bombshell.
I still love Becca with all my heart, and I know that with time, things will heal. They did before between us. But I need her to understand that I can’t just forget.
I decide not to text her back, at least not tonight, and climb out of the car. It takes me only a few seconds after getting inside to find my bed, and I collapse fully clothed. My weekend plans will consist of nothing more than moping around my house, not wanting to see anyone.
Maybe after time alone, I’ll be ready, but only time will tell.
It still baffles me that I’m a father overnight.
Can I really be someone’s dad? I do know for sure that when it comes to loving him, I’ll be a hell of a lot better than what I had growing up.
Having always dreamed of being a father, the idea does excite me. Being able to love someone who unconditionally loves me back, having someone to pass on my knowledge and accomplishments to…
Now that I have the chance to do things right, it scares the hell out of me that I’ll screw it all up.
