22
REBECCA
My heart is still in pain. I haven’t been able to eat or sleep since everything around me crumbled. It’s been two days since my life imploded, and I still haven’t heard anything from Steven.
Now being Sunday, I fear that come tomorrow morning, I won’t even have a job, let alone a boyfriend. I can’t blame him for being pissed at me…If it were me, I don’t know how I’d react.
My hope is that he will come around. Can he really just abandon us? I did lie to him for five years…I’m a monster, and a selfish one at that. In my defense, I was only trying to protect my son from Steven’s terrible parents.
If I stayed and told Steven, what would they have done to me and my baby?
“Mommy,” Damian says as he stares at the television. “Can we go see Mr. Steven. I miss him.” His little voice breaks my heart even more. We’ve been sitting in my room, watching Christmas movies all morning while he eats his snacks and cuddles next to me.
Other than the obvious, it’s been the perfect day. It’s one of our favorite things to do, yet this time, it only makes me miss Steven more. Especially because it reminds me of when we stayed at his house, sleeping in the wonderful blanket fort.
It’s not fair to Damian that I am the reason that Steven is staying away.
“I know, baby, I miss him too. Hopefully soon, okay?” I reply softly. I’m not prepared for what to tell him if Steven really does drop us. That will crush him, since he’s already bonded with him so fast.
I rest my head on top of his and watch my favorite scene of the movie, where all the presents are returned and the town cheers. It always made me feel joy, but not this time. I fear the only thing that will make me happy again is if Steven calls.
The moment the thought crosses my tired mind, my phone dings, and I practically leap for it on my nightstand. My heart stops the moment I see Steven’s name, although I’m scared to open the message.
What if he’s telling me that he never wants to see us again?
Steven:Can you meet me at Tony’s in an hour so we can talk?
This is it…It’s either going to be the best day of my life, or the worst. It can go two ways: he either tells me that he can’t forgive me and he dumps me, or he will accept that I fucked up.
I’m scared.
Taking a deep breath, I reply, accepting his offer, and immediately call my grandmother. It wouldn’t be fair to bringDamian along to see the mess that I caused. I’m trying my best to keep him oblivious because he’s only a child.
He’s innocent in all this.
The movie ends, and Damian rushes off to his room to play while I find some presentable clothing to replace my baggy sweats and oversized shirt that I’ve lived in all weekend. Not my finest moment.
Grandma shows up rather quickly and practically shoves me out the front door. “Go fix things with your man!” she hollers as I climb into my car and laugh. I’m incredibly lucky to have her support through all of this mess.
I plan on doing just that…fixing things with Steven. I’ve loved him for five years, and I finally got him back. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him go that easily.
My tires slide slightly as I pull up to the curb outside of Tony’s and put it in park. Two cars up, I already spot Steven’s car, and my heart begins to race, out of excitement and fear. He holds all the cards now…the ball is in his court. That terrifies me.
With my keys in hand, I walk inside the warm deli. The smell of loose steak and peppers fills the air, and my stomach growls unexpectedly. Given that I haven’t eaten much in three days, it’s understandable.
My tired eyes scan the little red-top tables and find Steven sitting in the back, in the corner. He stares at me, and as usual, I can’t get a read on him, judging by his stiff expression. This only curls my stomach more as I walk over to him and sit across the table.
In the first few moments, the tension can be cut with a knife. The silence is deafening, and I just want to go home and climbinto my bed again. It’s hard for me to sit here and face my mistakes…I know it was a terrible thing for me to do, but it’s hard to see the pain in his eyes.
Judging by his appearance, his disheveled hair and dark circles under his gorgeous green eyes, it’s evident that he hasn’t slept much this weekend either.
“I—uh. I fired Cam,” he starts, his voice raspy from exhaustion. “And I confronted my parents…Which went as well as you can imagine. I disowned them.”
My breath catches, and I can feel the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I didn’t think it was possible to cry again after all the crying I did over the last couple of days. He really did all that for me?
It feels selfish to assume it was all for me. They didn’t just do these things to me; they did it to him, as well. I can’t imagine how he must feel knowing that everyone he thought he could trust betrayed him…including me.
The waitress walks over, her hair up in a messy bun and her black uniform spotted with food from the kitchen. She takes our drink and food order before disappearing again, leaving the tension between us once more.
